Intro- Chapter 1, like so many others..

[IcebiteParticipant 86]

In order to start of on the right foot here, I’ll endeavor to introduce myself.

Engineer by education and training, 2 patents Design Engineer for 20 yrs. Executive Mgr for 20 years with international travel, working in semiconductors, industrial control and medical devices.

Retired at 64. One marriage enlistment starting in 1972. Divorced in 2006. multiple children, multiple grandkids.

Live alone. currently in LTR, though do not cohabitate and nor financially support. Now to the interesting stuff. My awareness into men’s issues started in 1987 after SHTF in the marriage.

There was an increasing high level of conflict, so I started going to a Men’s Center in our community (because after all I was the sick one).

The center’s thrust/concept was basically “we’re here to help you get over and manage “YOUR ANGER” problems. Funny thing was, I didn’t go there to solve anger problems as I went their to figure what the hell was going on and why I was getting pummeled by the bitch I was living with.

After all, I was doing everything that I was supposed be doing. Protect, provide and support the princess that I was married to. I wasn’t perfect, but I was trying, believing that, “well there must be something wrong with me” or she wouldn’t be acting that way. A few months later, I was invited to a weekend training retreat, called the “New Warrior Training Weekend”. They later changed it to the “Mankind Project” (kind of funny, I guess they felt the original name wasn’t PC enough) located in Wisconsin and started by men named, Rich Tosi, Bill Kauth and Ron Hering.

All are well known and their names are public, by the way. There main thrust was male initiation, male bonding and acceptance of responsibility. I participated in this group for many years staffing the weekends and maintaining a cadre of close male friends, seeking enlightenment as to wtf was going on.

Their main premise was “suck it up, take responsibility and be a MAN. What they didn’t teach, was that the whole western world is programmed to “f..k men”. During this time of course the marriage continued, but more cracks started appearing, oft about money, work hours, insufficient time I spent at home. It’d seem we were always short of money. It didn’t matter how hard I worked or much I sacrificed. She spent it faster, than I could make it, with no thought of future consequence. She kept stating that I was the one with the “money issue”. I always thought it was ironic.

At work, I controlled a $6 million budget in a $100 million dollar high tech. business, had 70 men working for me, dozens of projects scattered all over the world and I couldn’t control my own personal budget and was living paycheck to paycheck. I was like a never ending fountain of life energy, to be sucked up, used and p~~~ed away. Of course my spouse, only worked marginally outside the home, the money was hers to spend as she wanted, and of course what I earned was hers.

Efforts to get her employed brought extreme anger, rage and resentment. How dare I suggest her doing that. “Wasn’t the fact they she bore our children, enough?” She was in therapy during this time, literally for 14 years at $100 an hour, and of course after the first ten sessions were over, insurance stopped. Her PHD shrink even included her in one of his books.

When it wasn’t mental therapy, it was acupuncture or something else. Anything and everything to help herself feel better.

It didn’t matter that it was at somebody else’s expense, after all “she deserved this”. During this time she started Grad School, go ahead and guess, you can do it………Psychology. This was during the time, Feminazi Mary Daly was spouting off her BS, and of course momma bought it hook, line, sinker and boat. All the ills of society, you know, that stinking male toxicity that controls the whole world and subjugates poor helpless females, became mine to bear. One day in 2002 after taking a full hour of verbal abuse and rage (picture yourself sitting in a chair, in a corner, back to the wall, saying “NOTHING” listening to a raging rant), I finally got up and went into the next room closed the door and got on my computer. I thought.. “I didn’t deserve that!!” A small glimmer of self awareness invaded the black hole of hell I was in. I type two words into my computer….”emotional abuse”. Searching, scrolling clicking for hours.

Then a site came up called “BPD Central”, by forum creator Randy Krieger. In there I read about her book called “Walking On Eggshells”, describing the attributes of a personality disorder called “Borderline Personality Order”. Guess what,…. my loving spouse had 9 out of 10 traits. (What Paul Elam says about BPD women is absolutely on track. They are Hell incarnate.) And the books general summation advice was, “you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, you can only get out of the way” Ahhhhhhh. New knowledge, I wasn’t totally crazy, “thank you Jesus.” Some time passed and my youngest left home and joined the Marines slightly before 911.

Another glimmer of light entered the Hell hole.

I felt released from anymore family obligations. (Point of fact, here… I get along great with the kids and still do.) Shortly there after my daughter separates from her husband and moves back into the family home. Small home, cramped conditions and the spouse, starts going into crazy mode.

It was her birthday and so my daughter and I went out bought her special food (she was a Vegan convert) and planned a birthday party for her later in the day. I was in the garage speaking with my daughter, and suddenly kitchen cupboard doors start slamming. We both looked at each other and said “what did we do?” The food we had bought suddenly flew out the front door and land on the front yard grass amid screaming and ranting.

Oh boy, here we go again.

I calmly walked upstairs and retook the “chair of shame”, back to wall, arms folded saying nothing. Ranting, raging, accusations, anger all directed at me for this new unseen life complication. Then she said.. her magic line power line, oft heard so many times before…. “If you don’t change, I’m divorcing you”…… And I said 2 words.. “Done Deal”. My mind was made up and there was no going back. More to follow on my “Life with a BPD Feminazi Psychologist”

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10909]

Interesting introduction. Welcome.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[Anonymous 7]

Hello and welcome home.
There is Bud and Bud Light in @venom‘s cooler (make sure you tell him I said don’t be a stingy f~~~er).

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2727]

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. There were many times I was nodding my head in agreement as I read.

After so many years of confusing and hypocritical blue-pill therapy, let the TRUTH sink in.

You have come to the right place. Pull up a chair and stay a while.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Anonymous 3]

Thanks for intro. You are a very accomplished man who got caught in the socially designed cultural trap a lot of us did.
I am not in a relationship of any substance at this time, but I do have a sex thing going on & there’s always a price to pay with it. If could involve myself in an ltr it would b in the fashion you describe, but I am really shooting for Monk mode.

I went to the same college Mary Daly did & when she returned to spew her venom, she billed herself as a ” radical feminist lesbian theologian”
My response was” so am I ”
F~~~ all that feminazie nonsense. Let the whirling dervishes whirl.
One of my closest friends graduated from Clarkson as a Mechanical Engineer.
Again welcome & thank you.
Stick with the winners.
Stick with MGTOW

[Anonymous 3]

The amount of abuse men endure is mind boggling.
Welcome.

[Anonymous 42]

Your story made me feel ill knowing the spiritual cancer in detail. Narcissism level 9 is what you were married to! They all have Cinderella entitlement syndrome, you do for them and that’s the end of the argument! They even teach in marriage counseling the man needs all the changes, that’s how pervasive this Cinderella cancer is throughout society.

I refuse to be abused!

Welcome to the forums!

[RazParticipant 35]

Great introduction, thank you, Icebite!

Discovering the concept of Borderline Personality Disorder and the fact that my “partner” was a classic case, is precisely how I discovered that my angle of attack was all wrong just by its nature of existing at all.
Thats when I flipped the script by simply apologizing calmly for all the drama and stating that I would get therapy, I would address ALL of MY problems for HER (of course, this is after attaining a clear mind with the 18 months of sobriety that she begged me for, for over a decade).
The next few days, she displayed as though nothing had ever occurred in regards to me discovering (and her admitting to), all kinds of treachery.

I witnessed this and other inexplicable behavior from a perspective of clarity, calmly, and deduced that she was completely insane.

If anyone out there reading this has experienced unreasoning, fragmented, and dishonest argumentation from their significant other, I encourage and advise you to research Borderline Personality Disorder. Once you feel that you are honestly seeing the situation, shift your focus to yourself and how the f~~~ you fell for this s~~~, and why the current definition of “being a man” suckers us into staying and trying for longer than anyone should.

Tons of helpful info about BPD (and suckers) here:

http://www.sharischreiber.com/articles.html

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Welcome Icebite.

Thank you for sharing your introduction. A few things mentioned, I hadn’t heard of, that I’m going to have to look up in greater detail, so thanks for that as well.

Look forward to your future posts.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Welcome and DAMNNNN

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[WPLParticipant 2390]

Welcome, from another engineer. I think you’ll like it here. My ex-wife also used to spend money as fast as I could earn it. It really is demoralizing when you know that you’re burning years of your life toiling at work, and you’ll have nothing meaningful to show for it – makes a person start to think, why bother working at all?

[Anonymous 5]

Welcome Icebite and thanks for the great read.
As you’d probably realize by now, the vast majority of other marriages around you were wonderful facades just like your own. In fact, like yours, it’s worse because men believe it’s normal for women to be “like that” behind closed doors and hence the universal rule you’ve stated below that married men live by:

Icebite wrote:

suck it up, take responsibility and be a MAN

It’s this flawed sense of pride that enables the abusive exploitation of men in every aspect of interaction with society, and in particular, relationships with women.
The pursuit of being GOOD MEN or REAL MEN leads men to believe and accept they’re simply there to serve. Enduring exploitation and abuse from women is seen as part of that service and therefore part of being,,,,,,,A MAN!
The media back this up and so does the judicial system. Worse still the vast majority of men believe it (like we all once did)

The biggest mistake is to blame yourself for putting up with it but luckily you’ve done a lot of reading and research so you’ll be at peace with yourself a lot quicker than most.

Enjoy the company of other men who’ve shared your experience and Im looking forward to your future input.

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Greetings IB,

Appreciate your introduction and the replies that it has generated from our amazing MGTOW Brothers.

I thought I was reading my own autobiography.
You are not alone.

Here is a link to something I Posted recently which I hope you can appreciate:

/forums/topic/an-honest-love-letter/

Your story, Red Pill descriptions, and lessons learned are good examples for other men.

Nevertheless, as a Heterosexual Man who is recently divorced and is only “considering” being MGTOW Monk, you are not out of the woods yet.

Here is a link to something I posted a year ago that happened to me a decade after my divorce and I thought I was safe living alone in my own home. Your comments in that post are appreciated:

/forums/topic/the-domestic-abuse-machine-as-an-apparatus-for-mens-enslavement/

Anyway, have you arrived at AWALT?

Here is a test to determine how free you are from the influences of women and where you are on the MGTOW Road:

Are you at a place where a group of women talking sound like a bunch of hen’s clucking or are they “fascinating” to you?

Here is a link to help newcomers who just arrive at MGTOW.com, your comments there are appreciated:

/forums/topic/list-of-unacceptable-blue-pill-baggage/

Icebite wrote:

…..male initiation, male bonding and acceptance of responsibility. I participated in this group for many years……

Me Too.

And the best groups for me involved full contact mixed martial arts.

Nevertheless, with all due respect, I should not have to explain to you the importance of establishing your Bonafides, especially with your skill set.

Your excellent Red Pill Descriptions and Lessons Learned only keep the Red Flags from popping up. But, they are not the same as Bonafides.

Think about the origins of the practice of people clinking their glasses before drinking a toast.

This practice was developed to prevent murder by poison.

It is a matter of establishing trust.

Giving away unearned trust is a Big Mistake.

MGTOW’s should be encouraged to establish their Bonifides as soon as possible, preferably in their Introductions, and later earn that trust in the Forums.

For example, whenever I travel the USA, I will find likeminded men at the local Hardware, Auto Parts, and Firearms stores. Today, these Masculine Men proudly show pictures on their phones that describes the progress of their latest projects.

The following link is to an Introduction that is a fine example of how to establish your Bonafides on this web site:

/forums/topic/a-quick-introduction-2/

So, kindly provide more details about YOUR life without revealing your secret identity.

NO DOXING!!!

For example, answer the following questions:

Fun stuff that you do?

Future projects/ plans?

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Welcome to the group Icebite…Fellow engineer here…Most of the people here and professionals share similar stories and this site brings us together to reclaim our identity.

Looking forward to the second part of your intro…Welcome and enjoy the beer brother…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Anonymous 43]

raises hand…bpd survivor here. welcome brother.

[ghostParticipant]

That’s one hell of a story, Icebite.

Welcome, bro.

[BubParticipant 1404]

Great post

Just rolling down the road

[Chase PesosParticipant 2136]

Welcome out of the pits of Hades. I pictured it all, glad you made it out.

Chase a check, never chase a chick...

[Anonymous 14]

Damn, crazy story. You went looking for answers and help long ago and all you got was conditioned to take more punishment, brutal.

Always the rebel type since I was a kid I have turned and walked out the door way early in bad relationships, lucky in that regard I suppose, I have never been married and never will be.

[ShineParticipant 1696]

BPD, ultimatums, reminds me of one of my girlfriends who wanted kids and her special wedding day. Luckily I failed her s~~~ tests and she ended up with Chads babies. This was 20 years ago when I was 20. Accounts like this remind me of the bullets I’ve dodged.

Welcome Icebite.

"Society is to blame" Denton

[Author]

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