In Defense of Pokemon

[UintatheriumParticipant 1861]

Hi guys. Today I want to talk about Pokémon.

In this world, nothing is what it seems to be. There are plenty of things in this world that appear to be badass on the surface … but actually contain c~~~ s~~~. Examples of this include neo-conservatism, Cracked.com, and foods that have manly advertisements. There are also plenty of things in this world that look silly at first … but are actually badass when you think about it. Some examples of this: Star Fox, The Angry Birds Movie and Pokémon.

I’m not talking about the Anime. The anime sucks. I’m talking about the main series games.

I finished playing Pokémon Moon a while ago. That game, like most Pokémon games, has a cute exterior. The game’s plot begins with an innocent trip to Alola … which is based on Hawaii. Everything looks pretty at first … but then the story gets badass. Alola contains violent criminals, abusive parents, mind-altering parasites, flightless dragons who know Kung Fu, living killer origami, a ghostly moon bat, Hawaiian deities, a sexy black bitch who probably shouldn’t be in an E rated game and a huge mosquito with arms like a human bodybuilder.

Holy macaroni.

Additionally, the metagame in Pokémon is insanely complex. In order to do well, you need to memorize the type effectiveness chart … and learn about a ton of other mechanics. Back in the nineties, you could tear through the Pokemon world using Alakazam or Hypno. Now it’s more complicated … and it just keeps getting more complex with each game. There is so much s~~~ you have to memorize … and there are so many attack combos.

That is the real reason why so many grown adults still care about this series. It’s like real nature. You notice something new every time you look at it.

Of course, Pokémon Moon isn’t even the best game in the series. Back in the 2000s, they had Pokémon Colosseum … which might be the darkest game in the series. Additionally, we also had Pokémon Black and White in the early 2010s. The main villains in Black and White are Team Plasma … which are obviously based on PETA. The similarity was so obvious that PETA complained about it. They also accused Game Freak of promoting animal cruelty.

Does Pokémon promote animal cruelty? Of course not. Pokémon just acknowledges the brutality which already exists in nature. Even the cute characters in Pokemon are primarily used for combat. In real life, “cute animals” are like this. Go outside and look at any random squirrel. It looks cute eh? Well … that squirrel has narrowly dodged death several times. It has had far more sex than you. That squirrel is more badass than 90% of human beings. Its entire life is survival horror. That’s nature. It isn’t a bad thing. It’s beautiful. The food chain is a beautiful thing.

Furthermore, legendary Pokémon are usually almost as cool as the mythical creatures that they are based on. Pokémon manages to capture the savage beauty of nature and mythology … and it’s all hidden beneath a childish exterior so that liberals won’t complain.

In real life, nature looks cute and pretty on the surface. That’s why liberal feminists like it. If you actually read about what goes on there, you get a different perspective. Nature is delightfully horrifying … just like Pokémon.

One last thing: Pokémon isn’t as badass as Digimon … but Digimon is pretty much dead at this point. I’ve come to terms with that.

Oh well …

MGTOW: because you can (and should) say anything about a woman as long as she isn't within earshot

[RoyDalParticipant]

That sounds hard and complicated. It’s not the Pokemon I grew up with.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 5]

Just a thought have you ever heard of lavender town theme ?in green and red for the original game boy if you visit lavender town weird binaural music plays it supposedly made children ages 7 to 12 commit suicide something about the unique tones in the song but it’s just a gaming myth.

[UintatheriumParticipant 1861]

RoyDal wrote:

That sounds hard and complicated. It’s not the Pokemon I grew up with.

Legendary Pokemon just keep getting scarier in every game.

The New Legendaries
VVV
http://danbooru.donmai.us/data/__buzzwole_celesteela_guzzlord_kartana_nihilego_and_others_pokemon_pokemon_game_and_pokemon_sm__d38b59c1716d789527e2b3276010b5fe.png

These guys make Mewtwo look like a teddy bear.

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ultra_Beast

MGTOW: because you can (and should) say anything about a woman as long as she isn't within earshot

[DarkRyuParticipant 2354]

I absolutely LOVE the original Pokemon games all the way up until they added absolute BULLS~~~ like running shoes you can’t remove and the POV “camera” changed. And there are so many Pokemon now, most of which just look f~~~ing ridiculous.

The anime itself was pretty good too up until they started adding “contests” and other BS to try to pander to girls. Basically, Pokemon was great up until 2005 or so. Now it’s absolute s~~~. And I have no desire to play Pokemon GO because I don’t want to walk around random places just to play a f~~~ing game any more than I want to flail around like a retard with a Wii remote. Nintendo has really gone to s~~~, and so has Pokemon. Now that I think about it, pretty much EVERYTHING has gone to s~~~.

[MaxParticipant 887]

I’m so disappointed that you didn’t even talk about the manga

I became a MGTOW because this was the only logical solution for a man survive in a world replete of gynocentrism and biased against men!

[Author]

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