Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › I'm the product of a single mother, please forgive me
Tagged: anxiety, male figure, Newbie, Single Mother
This topic contains 36 replies, has 30 voices, and was last updated by 
Antipathy 2 years, 8 months ago.
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You’ve got a long road ahead of you. Luckily there 23,000 people posted along the side of that road should ask for guidance.
Every female influence was designed to turn you into a malleable tool for the plantation’s desires. It may feel like you have been under a thumb forever, but you actually wound up here early in your life.
Practice “No”. It is a complete answer, and it requires no explanation.
Read here daily, and do not seek any new relationships.
If she had told the office that you were a virgin you would have had 10 Mrs. Robinson’s that wanted to break you in. The threat was empty, she would have given you to the older, smarter, more opportunistic women there.
Do not ever seek approval again. You are particularly susceptible given your upbringing. Without getting fired, for the next month do whatever you want, and never give a woman what she wants.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
Jeebus on the crost, classac.
That really made me spit Guinness out of my nose
I can see their heads have been twisted and fed with worthless foam from the mouth. Bob d
Listen to the guys. They are giving you good advice. It might be too much at first but listen, read and try to follow as best you can.
I would recommend that you try to join some male athletic clubs and/or go to bars and strike up conversations with guys. Simply walk up to them and offer to buy them a beer and ask if you can sit with them. Don’t go telling your story to them. I makes you sound weak and pathetic. Both men and women don’t particularly like such people to be around them. Go to the park and if you see a ball game with guys playing ask to join. Do inform them if you don’t know how to play the game and that you would like to learn. The key thing here is to get you to learn how to be a man, build your confidence. It might be possible once you do start gaining confidence your panic attacks may begin to lessen. I am no Dr. of any sort but it sounds like you were kept isolated from society and just don’t know how to handle yourself in public, thus the panic attacks. Learn what a man is and I think your confidence will begin to increase. Remember, everyone has their problems and most people will listen to you. Just don’t talk about your problems, they just don’t want to hear it. Try to talk about a football game or something similar. Something that is mostly innocent and not very likely to cause offense. Politics and religion are very taboo.
If you are religious or would like to learn more about it you could try going to church and it’s functions. There are many organizations out there that would happily take you in. When you do first join one try to listen and learn what is acceptable to talk about and what is not acceptable. If you don’t like them quit and join some other organization.
You didn’t mention what kind of work you do or what your expectations for life are but you have to be outgoing or you will start getting “dark”. Meaning you could start having thoughts that might include hurting other people or animals or destroying things. Humans are social creatures and need each other. When we don’t have the interaction we need we start to turn inwards and may have thoughts that are unhealthy.
In conclusion, continue to come to this site and don’t be afraid to ask questions. There will usually somebody that comes to this site that can answer your questions. There will always be some that ridicule and try to hurt you emotionally. Ignore them and listen to the ones that try honestly to answer your questions. Do this in your work and real life. Good luck.
Women's brains and vagina have one thing in common. There is nothing in there until a man puts something in there.
You’re fine dude – honestly nothing to worry about. What you’re experiencing is a perfectly understandable reaction to the completely f~~~ed state of affairs that American society has slipped into.
I have a couple suggestions for you, but I’m going to go through a few things you wrote that caught my eye and give you some honest feedback:
The level of cruelty she showed towards me, make me believe that she might enjoy seeing me like that.
Probably secretly did in some part of her brain. She’s p~~~ed because your Dad didn’t make all her dreams come true happily ever after like the Walt Disney Corporation PROMISED her that he would, and you’re the reminder of that. I know this will be nearly impossible to internalize, but DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. I know how hard that is, especially when it’s your mom, but always keep that in mind. It was never about you.
She always told me she didn’t want me to become like my father.
Case in point. Funny how so many mothers refer to their child’s father like that ir similarly, yet he was perfectly good to spread her legs for and take his load. Along with MGTOW, you might give Tom Leykis a liste to, I think he’s still at http://blowmeuptom.com – he talks a lot about what women SAY they want vs. what they actually go for.
Sometimes I just wanted a hug you know? Or like to feel protected or like someone had my back.
If any of the guys here ever meet up with you, you’ll have both. We get it.
I always felt they were so ashamed of me just because I was a boy.
Like I said – don’t take it personally. Just because they weren’t able to hang on to a man in their lives, they need to take it out on you. Ignore it – it really has nothing to do with you, although I’m sure it didn’t seem that way.
When I became a teen I felt like me being a young man caused a lot of conflict at home. Like my mom and my aunts didn’t want me to be masculine. I was just normal you know?
Same again. They were probably fed a f~~~ed up version of “happily ever after” where the man is the slave to their every whim and desire, and when *SHOCKINGLY* it didn’t actually work out like that, they had no contingency plan. Rather that admit that it was their own f~~~ed up misconceptions that got them there, they decided that men must really be the problem, and eventually you became the subconscious/inadvertent target. A lot of us have lived through it and grew up that way too.
Keep remembering not to take it personally. Allow for the possibility that even though this is your own mother, she really doesn’t know (understand) you that well because she isn’t a man, and her perception of what a man is supposed to be is completely f~~~ed.
Believe it or not my panic attacks and anxiety actually got worse once I moved out.
Understandable. Your only (and obviously horridly poor) source of emotional support is now gone. IT will get better. Just watch that you don’t let some female move in and take the place of your oppressive mother/aunts. Believe me, the chick from your office probably did you a favor at this point in your life.
I didn’t have any high school friends and at some I just stopped trying to invite co-workers out for beers.
Don’t s~~~ where you eat. Socialize completely outside of work. meetup.com Has been fairly good to me for non-romantic activities and like-minded people. You might also look for like a young republicans or libertarian group to check out and see who you meet up with there. Even if you don’t agree with all the politics, the men you meet there are FAR more open to men’s issues and the kind of crap you’re going through. You’ll never be anyhing but a second class citizen to the democrats unless you’re gay or trans or black or muslim.
Rejection hurts a lot, and I guess I was already wrecked emotionally to take more.
Ya. You might hold off on putting yourself in a position for rejection until you take care of some of your internal issues. You might look for a good male therapist to talk some of this out with – they can be really good for helping you see how and why so many things shouldn’t be taken personally but that you are anyway. Once you can start seeing that you’re not a bad person, but were put in a bad circumstance with a bunch of people with their own selfish bulls~~~ projected onto you, the anxiety attacks will probably start to go away. But until you can get a handle on that s~~~, every rejection will feel like that time your mom beat you, or whatever it was she did. You have to seperate the person you really are and really want to be from the person you were forced into being without your even realizing it. A good therapist can really help with that.
When I turned 21, a few years back, I thought of looking for my dad, but I knew my mom wouldn’t tell me anything, and maybe he wouldn’t want to see me.
GO FIND HIM. You need to find out the truth one way or another. My mom moved to another country and didn’t give my Dad a forwarding address. I may never have seen him again except that he had taught me how to call him collect on the telephone. Don’t assume anything – go find out the truth.
And try to find him yourself with involving your mom if at all possible. She will likely try to dissuade you from finding him or tell you a bunch of malicious s~~~. After all this time, no matter what he’s likely not the same person you mom knew all those decades ago, so DON’T ASSUME ANYTHING. Find out for yourself.
I thought, “Is there really not a single woman that’s interested in me?” That hurts a lot.
Just be glad they’re not right now. Where you’re at now (emotionally) you are a PRIME TARGET for a wannabe welfare queen to pull a check out of you every month for 18-20 years.
The last thing you need now is to get emotionally involved with a woman, and then have that fall apart or whatever. Just stay the f~~~ away. Again it’s not personal. If you were driving a Ferrari and owned a house and yaght, that girl from the office would have f~~~ed you behind the office dumpster. Hell she would have f~~~ed you IN the office dumpster. You gotta just trust us on that (Bros here will back me up): Hypergamy is basically universal among women. No matter how nice, friendly, and virtuous they may seem, women don’t see you as a person – they see you as your social/financial status. Again, it’s not personal, it’s just how they are hardwired by evolution.
It make questioned whether I was the problem, or maybe if I had listened to my mother, or maybe if I had a better job, or if I started going to the gym they would find me more attractive.
That’s your mother talking. The first part anyway. It’s just about the status. Women don’t see us as human beings, we’re “success objects” to them. You know how they’re always bitching about objectification? That’s really just them projecting THEIR disgusting attitude and mentality on us. It helps the assuage their guilt if they can convince themselves we’re as bad as they are. See it for what it is.
I was really upset and shocked by her behavior. I went to her apartment on Saturday and she very aggressively told me she wanted to do with me and that if I approached her again she would tell the whole office that I’m a virgin. It just f~~~ing broke me down badly.
Don’t take it personal. Trust me, she did you a favor. You’ll understand when you get older.
I don’ t do drugs, I don’t drink often, I have no tattoos, I’m respectful. But now I see that being innocent or naïve is a negative quality for women.
Funny, when women get older and start getting the baby rabies, you’re the ideal man. You should be EXTREMELY OFFENDED by this. You’re not good enough for her now, but suddenly when you have something she wants, you become good enough. See through this and have enough self respect to not fall for it. When you can do that, your anxiety will start to melt away. At least mine did anyway.
Then he told me about MGTOW, and that’s how I go here. I don’t want to be a mangina. I don’t want to disappoint all the guys that have shared their wisdom with me here, but I know still feel weak mentally. It really makes sad that I never had a father in my life.
You gotta start somewhere, and this is as good a place as any. Read, read, read. And then read some more. Watch all the MGTOW videos.
For just getting laid, I recommend reading “The Game” by Neil Strauss. Some of the tactics in there are a bit outdated now because a lot of women are aware of them, but the breakdown of how attraction works is pretty solid.
This is where I break with a lot of my MGTOW brothers. A lot of them are down on PUA (Pickup Artists), but I think that’s because they think being a PUA means catering to women’s desires to get laid.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. It’s about building yourself up socially and mentally so women are naturally attracted to you. There are some tactics involved, but projecting success is fairly key.
Don’t take anything personally. Women spread their legs for success and status. That status can come from big biceps or family connections, or a high paying job, but it’s the status that they are f~~~ing, not the person. They could really give a s~~~ what’s attached, and the sooner you realize that, the easier it will be not to take anything personally.
No matter what women and the Disney company have told you, nobody EVER got laid because they were a good person. That’s incidental. Which is why you should NEVER take anything women do personally – they’re incredibly selfish creatures, even moms.
"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,
Don’t go telling your story to them. I makes you sound weak and pathetic. Both men and women don’t particularly like such people to be around them.
Just don’t talk about your problems, they just don’t want to hear it. Try to talk about a football game or something similar.
THIS. Post your questions, story, and other s~~~ here and not out there. In the real world, that personal story can be kryptonite to the average dude. Men generally don’t want to be around seemingly weak men because of the nagging sensation that the weakness rubs off on them.
It’s probably a bitch of a situation. One day you too are going to have to cut certain people off until you know that you and someone else is stuck in your situation are redpilled and they want to become masculine like you (you are going to take my advice become a man/bear right?) and you know how to help.
What you need are confident, smart, experienced men that want to specifically help YOU. Some random dude isn’t someone that you want to bounce your s~~~ off of.
And while I recommended physical fitness and training, that isn’t the only way. That is just the relatively fast and easy way to unf~~~ the situation. The other way is having some seriously impressive grey matter. But I’m not expecting you to become as brainy and based as Cody’s Lab or King of Random. But seek to learn s~~~ every f~~~ing day anyway. Learning cool s~~~ is the spice of life and people look up to someone who knows their s~~~ and how to blow s~~~ up.
Anonymous3Dup, disregard.
Learning cool s~~~ is the spice of life and people look up to someone who knows their s~~~ and how to blow s~~~ up.
Funny that. I just spent an evening with my former boss and coworkers (transferred to different group in same company, but still got the dinner invite) and since we were all guys, the conversation turned its way to all of our youthful misadventures with firearms and various incindiary devices (potato guns, sodium flushed down toilets, etc etc etc etc).
A rare treat here in the Seattle area -most guys are total manginas, but after a drink or two we all figured out that we were all pretty cool, so out came the stories…
"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,
Anonymous3DisenchantedBro,
Welcome.
Wow! You got a lot to read. You cant complain now that you are alone or nobody cares about you. THERE IS A LOT OF CARING IN THIS THREAD!
I would add a few videos that helped me, so that you have even MORE stuff to go through. LOL.
I think it will take a while for you to become comfortable with your masculinity. It’s difficult to embrace it naturally when society’s been telling you from day one that manliness is toxic.
Look at James Bond. He flirts with women all the time, but is he going to throw a fit if he doesn’t get laid? Hell no, because he’s got bigger things to worry about. Bond always puts his job before women (except when he doesn’t, but that’s when…oh, never mind).
Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.
1. Become your own Positive Male Role Model.
2. Go outside and play.
3. Stop giving any f~~~s.
What sidecar says. Not giving a f~~~ will set you free.
Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.
Fuck this planet.Hey man heres my response dont let her get you down. You can always change your life to be better. Welcome to mgtow first off and i dont believe anyone has any ill wishes towards you.
Also as for the virgin thing please check out this insightful post on it. /forums/topic/so-you-are-a-virgin/#post-483285
I would like to add to my previous post.
No matter what anybody calls you, no matter what anybody says about you, the only way these things have any power over you is if you give them the power. If you don’t care or ignore these names and other things just don’t give them any power over you. When you do your confidence, self-respect and self-esteem will increase and, hopefully your panic attacks will decrease.
When at work keep your head down and don’t talk to anybody you don’t have to. When at work and you have to speak to someone talk only about work (especially when talking to women). what people mean when they say “don’t eat where you s~~~” they mean what I just told you.
When walking around in public walk with your shoulders held back and head high. Be aware of what is going on around you. Be proud of your self. You have been through a pretty rough life. Try to forget your past life and start anew. This website will give a lot of help.
please reread if necessary what I posted earlier and you might want to reread what everybody on here has written. Read as many of these threads as possible. We even have psychologists reading this website. There are many true stories, bits of wisdom and very helpful advice.
PS. STOP APOLOGIZING!! STOP ACTING WEAK AND START TRYING TO AT LEAST ACT LIKE A MAN!!!
Women's brains and vagina have one thing in common. There is nothing in there until a man puts something in there.
Anonymous43how I grew up. I was raised by a single mother, who had a lot of boyfriends throughout my childhood, my aunts, and my grandmother. I never had a male figure in my life, so I never really knew how a man had to behave. My mother’s love always felt conditional. If I behaved the way she wanted me to then she acted caring
Looking back at my childhood i am just f~~~ing p~~~ed to be honest as well. My mother basically tried to retard me and my siblings and stunt us in any way possible while holding on to the moral highground (the Jesus s~~~ highground). Thinking back on my own childhood it makes me want to cut my skin, beat myself and brings some tears to my eyes and this is coming from a so called traditional family.
The 3 reasons for my existence now are 1 completing my mission, 2 seeing where the hell my cousins and siblings end up, and 3 outliving my mothers ass.
She wanted me to always be polite, a gentleman, and be quiet. She always told me she didn’t want me to become like my father. None of the men she dated ever stuck around for long. As a kid I honestly always hoped one of them would stick around and be my dad. Like, I just wanted someone to take me to the park, or an ally in this house full of women. I never had a voice in this house.
Your mother retarded you man it is clear your daddy was an asshole, a dick, a scumbag, a scumf~~~ or even a player. The reason you are not losing your virginity till 25 is due to your mother stunting you with nice guy bulls~~~ even when the same guys who got into her pants where the exact opposite.
Also your mother being a single mama opened you up to possibly getting molested as a kid. There are plenty of child molesters who would have taken advantage of a single mama kid who wanted a dad as it is only logical that you will find more victims in a broken home (meaning if daddy was around he would kick his ass).
I kept on trying to date. Back then I felt like asking a girl out was the bravest thing a guy could do
I have done s~~~ that can get your ass f~~~ing kicked (or at least told off by white knights) for which is alot more brave then asking a woman out. I have said and done things worse then that bravery wise whether it been patting girls on the head (like a pet), openly making jokes about weight such as fatties and even violence, getting into slapping matches with them, getting into punching matches with them, open racist s~~~ etc.
Either way i have no experience thinking that it is brave to ask women out when i do far worst s~~~ all of the time s~~~ that gets me on their s~~~ lists things that would make women drop my ass even thou after all their bitching they still contact me in some form way or another. Taking it from the mgtow scumbag just find a hooker for now to lose your virginity too (make sure it is not a f~~~ing cop) and let it be done and get that s~~~ off your mind.
I don’ t do drugs, I don’t drink often, I have no tattoos, I’m respectful. But now I see that being innocent or naïve is a negative quality for women.
The word respectful is the s~~~ that f~~~s up the rest it is the final straw as you either have it or are willing to do it (like i cannot get a tattoo legally yet however once i am 18 i will, or i cannot do heavy drugs yet but that has to do with a lack of connections and again not being 18 once i am 18 or about 18 i will do those things and openly agknowledge it).
I don’t want to be a mangina. I don’t want to disappoint all the guys that have shared their wisdom with me here, but I know still feel weak mentally. It really makes sad that I never had a father in my life. I wondered how different I would be if I had had an ally in my life growing up. At 25 I still feel like a child and not a man, and that angers me with myself. Sorry for the very long post. I just have a lot of thoughts in my head right now.
I don’t have high expectations of people unless you actually prove it. If i hear that in a few years you swallow the red pill and then set your own mission for the rest of your life then i will be happy and i will approve of you as you did not fail but till then you are simply in the beginning stage. At the beginning i was not fully red pilled as i was more of a purple pilled guy and then over time i slowly became more and more redpilled till now.
Now find out what happened to your father, if he is dead visit his grave and track down his family, if he is alive track him down, if he is in prison still track him down. You need to find out who the f~~~ your father is/was and when it comes to the long post i don’t give a s~~~. I mean f~~~ those who complain about your post simply because it explains alot and the fact that you found out about mgtow a few days ago.
Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.
Reading the original post, there is so much I want to respond to, but don’t have the time or typing skills right now.
First, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your’s is a normal response to a very abnormal situation. You didn’t create that abnormal situation. You abandoned it and escaped from it. You escaped from it with the clear recognition that it was as f~~~ed up as it was. That insight is crucial. You are not going out into the world thinking that s~~~ was normal and trying to replicate and continue it for the rest of your life. The situation you escaped from would have broken many men. And by broken, I mean they would have volunteered to stick around, never realizing how f~~~ed it was. Or, they would have blamed themselves for it and stuck around and wasted their lives trying to fix it. Or, they would have ended up gay, or crazy, or on drugs, or in jail. You saw it for what it was.
You have escaped with that insight intact. WIN #1. You have your own place now and a job, so you have at least one marketable skill. WIN #2 and #3.
You wrote a lot about not having a male example around so I’m seeing that you are aware of the significance of that in becoming a man. Men learn best to be men by the example of other men. With that insight, you are already pointed in the right direction. You are no longer hopeful of learning that from your female family. ALL women are useless in this regard.
A male example would have taught you that women like the ones in your childhood were toxic and should be abandoned. In a way, your father and those other men who came and went did show you by example exactly how to treat those women. They abandoned them, and you followed that example. WIN #4.
You are young which means you have time. This is the biggest win of all. Given enough time, men have built the Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, the Roman Empire. Spend your time investing in yourself. Read here. Acquire new skills. Joining a bowling league (nobody cares if you can bowl. It’s most just guys wanting to get away from their wives for a beer or two. Bowling is just the excuse, and it works because women are likely to want to tag along. Hunting and fishing serve the same purpose).
You mentioned that as a teen ager, you wanted to go and do things. That’s the man in you talking. that is what men have always done. Look around you. The buildings you see, the freeways, railroads, electric, water, agricultural infrastructures were conceived, created and maintained by teams of men doing things (exploring, thinking, learning skills and creating things). Men see a need for something that needs to be done, we devise a plan, acquire the skills, materials and resources and we get it done). This website is the product of a man who saw something that needed to exist, and used skills to create it.
This exploring, planning and creating in order to achieve a preset goal is the oldest behavior of men. Cavemen formed hunting parties this way. Corporations big and small are really just giant teams of mostly men setting goals to get s~~~ done, usually in competition with other teams of men, to see who can do it best. The stock market is both the scoreboard and the casino in which you can place bets on which teams will win. Goal directed behavior, team work and competition (even in recreation) IS WHAT MEN DO! You may have noticed that women suck at these things. These are a big part of what make us men.
Advice #1: Whatever the skills you learn as your go about building yourself and your masculine life, learn about investing. The first thing you’ll learn is that it is very important to start investing your money early. The second is to invest in yourself. Warren Buffet best exemplifies the importance of investing early. Steve Jobs is a good example of the second.
Advice #2: Avoid women for now. Women in their 20s are useless at best and toxic at worst. If you really think you just HAVE to get laid, hire a prostitute. There are differences of opinion here about weather this a great idea. But there is general agreement that since all women expect something in exchange for sex, there’s a little prostitute in all of them. There’s also general agreement here that among women who expect something of value in exchange for sex, they are both the cheapest, and most honest. Don’t be surprised if the experience leaves you feeling disappointed. First thing you’re likely to learn from that experience is that you can get the exact same orgasm humping your fist and it won’t cost you a dime! 😛
Last for now, (because I’m out of time now) go to the local courthouse in the city you were born and get a copy of your birth certificate. Your father’s name is likely on it. From there Ancestry.com or similar internet resources may be of help to you finding him. You both abandoned the same f~~~ed up situation with those women. You already have that in common. Try not to be so hard on him for not taking you with him. In any custody fight, he would almost certainly have been creamed by gynocentric court system and nothing (aside from his bankruptcy and possible incarceration) would have come from that attempt of it.
For the time being, have as little interaction with your female family as possible, and never speak of this website to them. They are toxic to you, and would be hostile to this place. Other than “No” and “goodbye”, say nothing to them of what you learn here. The initial period of withdrawal from them will be the most dangerous, tricky and hostile. If you think they f~~~ed with you before (when they weren’t really even trying), you have no idea how f~~~ing horrid and hostile they will be when they find out your escaping/have escaped. At that point, they really WILL be trying to ruin you.
More later.
Chin up. Eyes forward. There’s nothing wrong with you. And there’s nothing that’s happened to you that you can’t recover from. You’ve come to the right place.
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
One time one of my aunts accidentally caught me masturbating, and it was like the end of the world was coming. She told my mom and she scold me. She told me I was disgusting and that nice people didn’t do those things. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed.
Both of them almost certainly use dildos thus making them raging hypocrites.
Why do women and society have to make me feel like I’m the worst monster just because of how I was born?
Because they are hypocrites who love hate.
At the same time, I often feel like I have no voice, like nothing I say matters. At work and everywhere else I’m often told, “You shouldn’t talk about that because you are straight white male.” I just feel so dismissed, like my thoughts just don’t matter for being a straight male.
Your opinions do matter in fact they matter more than any women in your workplace. Unlike them you actually pay taxes and same taxes go to their free s~~~. So I can say with confidence that my opinions matters your does and theirs doesn’t.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
Disenchanted, the only thing you need as far as forgiveness is concerned … is forgive yourself for not loving yourself and approving of yourself, and seeking love and approval from women, (something they cannot, and will not give) to feel a sense of value, purpose, and meaning in life.
That all ends here, and your new life, new perception of everything, is about to begin. It looks like you’re feeling very emotionally damaged, it’s important you realize this is natural, and will go on for a while, don’t fight it, it’s part of the process.
When you stabilize, and you will, there will be a series of self awakenings, and realizations, as you continue to follow MGTOW content, and intake the information.
Most important thing to remember right now, is what you’re going through, many of us have been through, some us of multiple times. It’s completely natural, normal, and part of the process.
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