I was at both of my childrens births………

[Anonymous 5]

They both were born by C-section and it was my face that was the first thing they saw after being removed form their mothers womb. Its amazing the things you remember in such moments, they are as clear as if i had just witnessed it. My son is 27, my daughter 24 and has her first child. I always wanted to be a Dad, to do the things with my children that my father never did with me, I knew I would be good at it because I knew what not to do, having experienced a pluthers of horrible abuses not only by the hands of my biatch step mother , but also by the hands of my blue pill mangina father.
My son weighed in at 9# 14 ounces , my daughter 10 pounds right on the money, he was blessed with a full head of black hair like his mothers and my daughters had patches of red tufts sparsely scattered all over her head. AS they got a little older I was a horse for my son to ride all over the house, and a shoulder for my daughter to ride on when she couldnt walk any more, I remember those walks with her because she had this habit of twirling my hair up and around her index finger and trying to pull my hair out. My son was a sensative little boy like his dad was when I was his age. You could see both of us parents in these two beautiful creations.
When my little boy was 8 years old and I worked for an ambulance service, I let him ride along with me in the biggest ambulance in southern california, outfitted for the smallest patience, in a parade they were having down town and while he was turning bottons and making the siren do all the things it does , he looks up at me and he say, “Dad I want to be just like you” with a big grin on his face as he goes back to playing with nobs and buttons. I was proud that day to be a father , to be his father, knowing that he wanted to be like me, I thought I must be doing something right. Even though his mother every other weekend took the time to say infront of my kids what a loser i was, what a bad father I was, she always had to have the kids present whenever she went off on me.
Fast forward two years, I had left the biatch ass c~~~ and was trying to figure out how to deal with the whole situation. One of my co-workers allowed me to rent a bedroom and a bathroom in her home until i got on my feet. It had been about two weeks since i had seen my kids and i went over to their school to see my son. I walked into his class room and is teacher nodded at me as i went to sit next to my son. As I sat down next to him I noticed he was acting really funny, he didnt greet me with a smile, in fact he wouldnt even look at me, and he was visibly shaking. I asked his teacher if i could talk with him outside the classroom, and as I got down to talk with him tears were in his eyes and he said daddy dont take me from mommy to that woman who kidnapps kids all the time, he was sore afraid of me, the look in his eyes just broke my heart. I reassured him that no one was going to do that to him and then talked about he and his sister comming to visit me, then I took him back to his class and he was fine, that memory i will never forget and it haunts me to this very day, because i knew that bitch of a whore was working in him, allowing him to hear all the horrible stories that her and her stupid biatch of a mother had to say about me , and they probably made him sit there and listen to it all. Fast forward another two years, and i am now living almost 2,000 miles away, because I could get better paying jobs and the cost of living was better . 65% of my income was goping to pay biatch support, and child support, why because they can, and they get to do whatever they want, the long arm of the gubmant. And $3.50 hr is not enough to pay rent let alone all the bills associate with living expenses. One day i received in the mail a change of address from the Biatch with a new phone number on it. So I decided maybe this Biatch is finally comming to her senses, but what i didnt know was this was a trick, a set up, and I fell for it, i called the number and the biatch answered then immediately hung up, so i called again and this time my son answered I said hello son and the first thing he said to me was this “your not my father”!! atimate and angrily, a nine year old angry boy started chewing me out , now i hadnt had any conversations with him since two years ago, they knew where i was I had sent them my new address, and i also sent the Biatch the plans as to how we could work out visitation and that information was supposed to be worked out between the bitchass c~~~ and me , and now my son is belting out lie after lie after lie about me and when questioned about how did he know this stuff , he told me “I figured it all out” after a breif exchange the bitch put my daughter on, and in her cuute way she said “Hi Daddy” not angry or scrweamming at me , but the she kept repeating a mantra “why did you leave us here without any money” over and over and over , then she said at the end of that “I dont ever want to see you anymore” this is a five year old little girl, my little girl and little boy whom I loved more than anything on this planet, and they were being charged with the God awful task of hating their daddy. And pressured into doing so by their egg donor biatch. I made sure I had a recording of that conversation, so that maybe someday I could get payback from the stupid state where they live for helping to enable the heartbreaking destruction of the relationship i had with my children. Fast forward another four years to 2002, the courts in cali wanted to increase my support payments to the stinky assed biatch and child support. So I thought this will be a great opportunity to get somethings straightened out because I still had joint legal custody of my kids, So i initiated a court hearing went out there , called the number I had and went to the address to visit with my children, they no longer lived at that address and i had no information as to where they had moved to. turns iut that the lady who answered the door knew exactly where they lived, They had moved exactly a block away from that address. And that biatch knew the other biatch and had been instructed what to say should I show up one day.
So I went to the court and could only set another date for a hearing a few months dow the road. And that meant another 4000 mile raod trip fast forward a few months down the road , I knew that there was going to be a mediation visit with my kids and the Biatch at the court and I knew what time it was going to be , so i planned to be there at the court that day so I could visualy see my children. I waited outside in the courtyard , and i saw them as they came out the Biatch my son and my daughter. they came directly at me , my son didnt recognize me, the biatch didnt recognize me, but my daughter stopped and stared at me for just a moment, then turned and caught up with the biatch. You may wonder why i didnt go and try to talk with them, I couldn’t I wasnt supposed to be within 600 feet of them, and If I had, I wouldve gone immediately to jail. You dont know how hard It was, but then again maybe some of you do, that was the last time I saw them in person and that was in 2002. If any of you men have experienced this type of behavior from an ex biatchass stinky c~~~ whore, the term is called “Parental Alienation Syndrome” unfortunately for me that term was just starting to get noticed and was starfting to get traction . So for my kids its too late, they have been so brain washed and manipulated by the biatch , unless a miracle happens I probably will never hear from or see them again.
there was no reason for the bitchass c~~~ to do or say anything bad about me to those two children, i never abused them or mollested them. My crime was that I left their biatchass mother.This type of behavior is not exsclusive to men though, it happens with equality.

If you Brothers are experiencing this kind of abuse at least you now have a name to put to it.

Sincerely:
Steve

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Thanks for sharing Nevets61
This kind of story just makes my red pill rage get worse. I wouldn’t necessarily trust myself to stay within the confines of the law if I had to go through something like you did. I admire your self control standing there keeping your 600 feet of distance.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Buller100Participant 2189]

Thats appalling , sadly all to common.

A parent telling lies about he other parent, stopping them seeing them should be charged with child abuse.

Simple as that.

[SheNoheartParticipant 144]

Nevets sorry to here you went and are going through that.
Just so you know my situation and that you are not alone.
My first ever born child was ripped out of my hands at 3 months old, Im 37, she did the runner to another country, practically kidnapped her. The only thing I have is photo’s of me holding her during her birth. The f~~~ing c~~~ turned her whole family against me and used the baby as a gun to my head to threaten me and threaten to report me if I did not let her leave the country, I never cheated, never lied, never did drugs, always worked my ass off to provide and ensure the nest was always filled with love, passion and commitment, then her bush pig of a mother in law brain washed her. They conjured a plan, where I seen a message by accident one day that said on her phone “why not force him to leave the country by making his life hard, and make him try and lose his job and making feel where you are living is s~~~ that way he has no choice but to follow you… and that’s exactly what my wife carried out. Its been 9 months now. The rage is sooooo f~~~in deep, reallyyyy deep bro. But as a man the only thing I have yet to believe in is myself, and it looks like I’ve sort of found the remedy to control the rage. Yes occasionally I can come on here and you will see me go off the f~~~in rails with the nastiest s~~~ (excuse me if anyone come across these posts) can be very dark but 97% of the times I have it under control.
So from here on all I can do is start again and thank my instincts and my gut feeling that I did not follow this death trap to their side because I certainly might as well just jumped off a bridge knowing that I would be under the rule my entire life to a……… 55 year old bush pig, gross, fat farting, burping every hour, can’t bend over, eat like a beast, drive thru eating, can’t put the seat belt on, toilet smelling after she poos, cottage cheese looking fat legs, religious god lover but judas at heart, condescending, thinks she’s a model, knife stabbing, sweat odor, stains of her shirt, pollution enhancer, food wasting, animal killer, plant killer, teeth are green, bags under her eyes, raging mouth, squealing vocals, money spending, government taxing, pretend chess player, pretend chef, feminazi of a mother in law….
My life goes on…happy without that, next chapter please…
thank you all.

[Anonymous 5]

That lower than an omeobas belly of a biatch as i was leaving the court the day of the mediation meeting, i was crossing the parking lot and stepped out into the street and they came from the left of me in a brand new cherry red Dodge caravan they had to stop or hit me, she saw me but it mustve never crossed her mind that I might be there on that day, She didnt look lioke she had been suffering from and loss of sustenance from the land wake she cause passing by, all that McDonalds and KFC was bursting out of her. She had changed the color of her hair from jet black to blonde and it looked terrible on her , but then again she never kept herself up anyways.
Its a funny thing about these stupid biatches, for the amount of abuses they claimed to have been bestowed upon them by me, she was so afraid she had to on a regular triyearly basis go to court and have a restraining order issued against me?
This one oddity has always baffeled me, why in the world would they keep my last name? The two scummy c~~~ sucking biatch ass c~~~s refused to give up my last name. Trust me if i had it in my choices they wouldntve been able to keep my honorable last name!!!!
one and only one good thing came about because of the hearing, I was able to get the biatch support stopped, but she ought to be glad that I only had enough money to get as far as some very good feiends of mine in New Mexico, because thinking within the confines of the laws at that point was not my number one priority.
I truly feel for you SheNoheart as p~~~ed as I was I have seen and heard countless stories that are 10 times worse than what I have been through. And yes alot of these “so called” god worshippers can be the worse, I met that c~~~ in a church……. my stupid blue pill sucking father keeps telling me I “need to go to church and meet a nice “Christian” woman. and always my response to him is “Dad the women who have done the meanest things to me, hurt me the most, have prevented you from having access to your grandchildren, are all pew warmers. So please stop feeding me that line of bulls~~~, there is nothing to be gained by “meeting any woman at any place of worship any more,” then I put a mirror in his direction and say, “examine all the benefits you have recieved from those types of women?” I have my beliefs I was raised in, and to a certain extent I wish the old testament days were still alive and well because them Biatch ass scum sucking c~~~s would’ve all been dead by stoning !! I would have my kids and they wouldve been raised to be a good mother and father themselves.
My brothers these kinds of things are not solely on the shoulders of the c~~~s , but on the judges as well. I went to that hearring well prepared, I had check stubbs, receipts from the child support division, everything I needed to prove that this biatch had manipulated my kids minds,the courts , everything. But because I couldnt afford an attorney I didint know how to present any evidence in a “certain” way at the court proceeding and so the judge completely ignored me. I had consulted a lawyer , his coment was this ” well first you will need to come up with a $20,000.00 retainer and there is no guarantee that you will get the results you desire to begin with”. I was f~~~ed , I couldnt work anymore because of my physical issues , I had no savings to speak of , my 93 pickup was just about to be reposessed, i had no rich friend to “impose ” upon and because the C~~~ had already used “legal aid” as they said “it would be a conflict of interest for them to help me in any way” so i was completely f~~~ed, f~~~ed f~~~ed and f~~~ed over again.
Brothers its all a money racket. They know ( the lawyers, courts and judges) that desperate fathers will pay any price to have a relationship with their children and these life sucking leaches are just as guilty as f~~~ for my loss of my children relationship and without any kind of recourse, or resources us men get f~~~ed by other men, and i had to come to terms with this as well. Blue pill mangina Judges are just as biased as the stupid female biatch judges, especially if they are elected ones. They are not fair or unopinionated, so i had to except what ever size of strapon legal dildo they wanted to shove up my rectum and live with it.
But I will say one thing my decision to move to another state wasnt a bad idea, if i had stayed in Cali, i would not have been able to drive, my drivers license wouldve been suspended for ever, but because I am a resident of another state cali has no jurisdiction over those privileges. And the licenses where i live are good for 7 years I believe. As long as I keep having the arrears taken out of my social security checks they will not harrass me and i have my driving privileges, and cannot be put in jail. But if I lived in Cali I would have to come up with at least 7% of the total amount every four years and risk a prison term.
It took me 7 years to finally get my disability, after a few surgeries and another lawyers screw up I finally was able to get the help i needed.
But trust me I have not forgotten for one moment that I am a father. I dream about them and in my dreams they are always little kids, just as my mind remembers them, they are not afraid of me and I can hold them and its perfect, and there are times when I awaken to my reality, and thats when I wish I could just go and stay in that dream forever.
But I try to live with the hope that maybe someday they will have to come to terms with what has happened to them and search for answers they desperately need. And then that is when I will present them with truth, evidences, and all the bulls~~~ barriers that was placed in the way by their biatch ass carpet munching lowlife adulterous c~~~ sucking whore of a mother, to my having a relationship with them!!!
So I hope that all fathers will be able to have some time with their children, and SheNoheart that includes you. Chldren who do not know their fathers have something in them that naturally makes them search out their daddy’s, even those who have been abused will return for answers to the pounding nagging questions in their heads, and the dominant one is “Why”.
All of My Brothers Recovering Your Manhood B~~~~ have a wonderful rest of this Monday

Sincerely:
Steve

[IceBankMiceElfParticipant 124]

Nevets61, what a sad story. I’m am sorry for what you’ve endured. With that being said, your kids are adults now…do you know where they are and do you try to contact them now?

I grew up in a situation that sounds eerily similar as I was the kid, with siblings, that was kept from my father for many years and was told lies about him. This was a time when there were no cell phones, voicemail, or email, and long-distance charges applied. Years later, as my father and I reconnected, all this came out and I saw a beaten-down man in my father from the years of separation from his children. Even though we’ve reconnected, it’s difficult to have the relationship that we could’ve had, but I’m glad we did. As my siblings and I grew older, we became wise to the way our mother was/is.

I would advise you to try and connect with them.

[Anonymous 5]

My friend and Brother IceBankman I know exactly where they live I have phone numbers and jobs where I could reach out to them. 10 years ago my son out of the blue sent me an instant message on myspace,telling me that those were different times and different days, and we were different people. He then went on to say that it was hard for him to deal with the situation at hand, and that he had called no other man his father, But he feared that even though he was of age, that there might be some legal ramifications for him contacting me. That was back in 2007.
I felt that this was the time to do some explinaing and do it objectively as well, and I wrote out honestly everything I thought he needed to know, for over three years, I got no response.
Afterwards when I would try to reachout to him online in anyway shape or form. He would block me and go into hiding. So I havent heard from him with one exception and it was arbitrarily through a kind thinking women who found him and reached out on my behalf, and his response to her was not one who would only call me “father” would do. He berated me to her and said i was nothing but a Liar and that none of my friends should ever trust me because he didn’t, and he told her untruths and other falsehoods about me as examples. She in kind responded with this ” that is not the man i have come to know, so I dont know how you could possibly come to those conclusions”!
My daughter has never tried to reach out to me and she was a daddys girl. I am sure that there is a lot of guilt living inside of my son, from the things he was forced to do , from the things he was forced to say to me, and things he has done on the behalf of his mother, as well as within my daughter. He is a very smart young man, and has his masters in micro biology, very well educated, My daughter she is very well educated as well. I have to seek them out under the radar, because i dont want to scare them off.
My younger brother your father needs you more than you know, and everytime you see him give him a hug, tell him you love him, what a good man he is , hearing that from you will be the best thing you can do for him, and also that you need him. He to lives with tons of guilt and more than likely shame. He knows you have been fed lies, and part of his issues maybe that fear will once again step into your mind and the words of your mothers will come rushing back if he does one thing out of line. and that you might not want to continue to be in his life. He has been traumatized and proably suffers from PTSD.
When a mother without due cause takes away the most important things in a mans life, his children, and feeds them lie after lie after lie and he is forced by the courts to be with out them , he is for all tenses and purposes traumatized beyond any measure a man should be forced to endure, with no hope in sight of seeing his children, he is left living in a shell with only his memories, and the possibilities of what couldve been. It is at this point and for these reasons that alot of men commit suicide, And for how ever long he was with out you kids, he mourned as if you all had died. It was not easy for him.
But I can tell you this beyond any shadow of any doubt he loves you very deeply. he just might be afraid of having to mourn the loss of you again.
WE cannot go back in time and redo and undo all the anger and hurt we have been through, but the best thing you can do for him is show him you love him, and it will be your lovong him that can restore him and his mind to a better place, and when you do you also will find that your anxiety and pain of lost time will deminish. and nither of you will have to be afraid or without each other ever again. Look up parental alienation , and study it to see if it fits within the parameters of your experiences with your mother, then I would suggest to you explore this topic too “children survivors of parental alienation “. they are on the internet.
Contact them and see if you can gain insight and support also from other children who have survived the abuse that you have been through, if at all possible spend alot of time with your dad, talk to and with him, tell him you understand that it wasnt his fault that your mother kept you away from him all of those years, And also that knowing what you now know, had you known it back then, he wouldve never had to spend one day without you in his life. Its not important what your mother thinks to him. Whats important to him is how you feel. Because I know from personal experience, the loneliness you knew he knew it all to well also, the pain and wondering about him and you he knew went through. It is not natural for any child to be without their fathers.
Was he perfect , i’d be willing to bet a million dollars he will not say yes, because we all know we are not, did he make mistakes yes we all do. But was those mistakes ,aside from child mollestaion and physical abuse, worthy of him being forced to be taken away from you or you him.
Do not forget My friend it has not only been your father that has been traumatized, its you also.

I leave you with these web pages that I think might be helpful for you and maybe even your siblings:

https://parentalalienation-pas.com/category/adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma/

Doctor Emily Baker contacted me many years ago when this kind of “abuse” was just starting to get recognized. and asked me to tell my story so I did. I have respect for this person based on her research and guts to go into this issue and willing to be called eeverything under the sun except a human being.
https://parentalalienation-pas.com/category/amy-baker/

So any of my Manhood Ball Recovering Male Friends who have experienced this traumatic thing please give it a looksie and objectively consider it. Anything you can do to restore your relationship with your Kids no matter how long its been can only do you and them good for for the rest of their lives.

Sincerely:
Steve

[Author]

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