Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › I gave her a second chance and got what I deserved. Nice guys NEVER win.
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Vajra Varaha 2 years ago.
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My sympathies brother. While in the military I had a woman much like yours for almost a year – perfect match. While she was at “home” 900 miles away from my base, she called it off (complaining about the distance/communication) and within less than a month was already dating one of my former best friends – who was also 900 miles away, only about 4 hours drive from me.
It took me about a year (not 2 months, not 3 months – a year and change!) before I finally got on my feet again and I sincerely wish you have as good of luck.
Most importantly, GIVE YOURSELF TIME. As I know only too well from my own experience, getting so emotionally violated will leave scars on you that may well never heal. I still sometimes wince when I remember the “good ol’ days”.
Best of luck to you brother. Welcome home.
Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.
As hard as it is to swallow, you have to realise that not only does marriage no longer work but neither do relationships. They ALL have a ‘done by’ date and it’s downfall is always because they become lying cheating whores, who revert to type.
Dating is not even worthwhile unless you enjoy spending money on ungrateful bitches who bring more drama, chaos and subterfuge into your life.
One more thing.
SMARTPHONES
THE FINAL NAIL.
So. Damn. True.
It’s so hard to live with the thought of not being able to share my life with a good woman. It’s a big “bluepill” thing to say, but I really enjoyed having her in my life. She really made me happy and motivated to be a better man.
Facing a world where I’m alone seems kind of depressing man. Maybe it’s because almost all of the people in my circle of friends are either in LTR or married with kids. Now I sit here and have to face a life without her, and it really isn’t easy. I’ve never felt like I wanted “freedom”. I wanted a lifelong relationship with my (then) good woman.
Just venting here. I know that I have to work on myself and reprogram my own brain to be happy without her. I just spent almost all of my adult life with her, and now it’s over.
7 years you’ve invested in her and her way of saying thanks was cheating on you. It’s too bad that happened to you man but women are not loyal creatures and never have been. Their only use has been to ensure the reproduction of the race other than that they never gave two s~~~s about anything else.
You need to let go of her and dedicate the next seven years on bettering yourself and your future. Enough has been wasted on her I say.
You may have lost the battle against her, but you won the war by being MGTOW.
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Facing a world where I’m alone seems kind of depressing man
Slaves chained together on a ship are not lonely but I wouldn’t change places with one of them if I were the last man on earth. Solitude is invigorating and liberating. You will come to terms with your deepest sense of self identity and from that well of strength you become invincible.
Women plan for themselves only. She is looking at the guy as a backup plan. If you fail to provide all of her checked in boxes, she has him to fall back on. It is the basic orbiter game that the woman plays. It is a harsh reality to discover, but that is the nature of women. They are unfaithful by default. Welcome to the jungle.
Anonymous13As hard as it is to swallow, you have to realise that not only does marriage no longer work but neither do relationships. They ALL have a ‘done by’ date and it’s downfall is always because they become lying cheating whores, who revert to type.
Dating is not even worthwhile unless you enjoy spending money on ungrateful bitches who bring more drama, chaos and subterfuge into your life.
One more thing.
SMARTPHONES
THE FINAL NAIL.
So. Damn. True.
It’s so hard to live with the thought of not being able to share my life with a good woman. It’s a big “bluepill” thing to say, but I really enjoyed having her in my life. She really made me happy and motivated to be a better man.
Facing a world where I’m alone seems kind of depressing man. Maybe it’s because almost all of the people in my circle of friends are either in LTR or married with kids. Now I sit here and have to face a life without her, and it really isn’t easy. I’ve never felt like I wanted “freedom”. I wanted a lifelong relationship with my (then) good woman.
Just venting here. I know that I have to work on myself and reprogram my own brain to be happy without her. I just spent almost all of my adult life with her, and now it’s over.
ALL those LTR’s and marriages are going to FAIL.
That’s all marriages and relationships do these days is FAIL.
Those guys, if not already lonely, will be.
The last years of my marriage were the most lonely, f~~~ed up and miserable years of my whole goddam life.
NEVER F~~~ING AGAIN.
I’m now alone and F~~~ it’s ABSOLUTE BLISS.
ALL those LTR’s and marriages are going to FAIL.
That’s all marriages and relationships do these days is FAIL.
Those guys, if not already lonely, will be.
The last years of my marriage were the most lonely, f~~~ed up and miserable years of my whole goddam life.
NEVER F~~~ING AGAIN.
I’m now alone and F~~~ it’s ABSOLUTE BLISS.
Thanks for the reply! Glad you’re out and have found some relief and bliss!
But how can we make a relationship not fail? For example, I want to have a family with children and a mother there to raise those children with me. Is that just completely impossible now? If the failure rate for marriage is 50%-60%, that still leaves a big chunk of marriages relationships and marriages that do actually last. I know that this is a MGTOW forum and I don’t mean to be controversial, but is there just no hope whatsoever?
We were back to taking trips together, hanging out with family, and I literally asked her to move in with me yesterday.
First off brother welcome!
You don’t realize it yet, but you have found paradise!
How can a person have such f~~~ing disregard for another human being? How does someone do something so terrible, see the pain and suffering that they’ve caused, and then do something like this again?
Well I see you are internalizing everything with high level of introspection, so good on you for that!
First off, don’t blame yourself for anything. She was unfaithful, and I hate to say this brother, but it is in their nature.
I think all men should learn from past mistakes, and you should take the opportunity to see how you could improve. Take this as a chance to improve yourself, and get your mind off her!
Don’t allow her to rent space in your head for free.
To women, relationships are nothing more than a business transaction.
Do you think most men care about how much a woman makes? Now, if the sexes were reversed, the answer is a resounding yes.
They will trade up on a whim, if the opportunity presents itself. This is just a text book case of hypergamy, and Briffault’s Law.
Hell even a business principle known as Pareto’s Principle can be directly replied to dating women.
The 80/20 Rule of Sex and Dating. Theory or Fact?
My new friend, you are beginning to swallow the red pill.
It sucks initially, but it does get better.
Logic will allow you to supersede the conditioning paradigm.
Happiness is internal, and doesn’t come from some external source.
MGTOW is the path to happiness, because YOU focus on YOU.
Stick around and absorb the knowledge here.
Again welcome brother!
Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically
Anonymous1deep down in your sub conscious you knew all along, that’s why you took a look at her phone.
Women organize their whole lives around their phone. All the evidence will be in there as they can arrange liaisons with other men remotely.
Well swerved on the marriage front because if you had done that, she would be helping herself to 50% of your assets and probably alimony.
Steer well clear and by the way get yourself checked out at the doctor see if you caught anything from her.Wow, great intro. Thank you for sharing. Some of us have never had such a bad experience, but some men on here had it way worse. We tend to be very focused on our pain in the moment, but I suspect years from now you’ll look back on this event and be thankful that you got out BEFORE getting married, because there’s simply no recovering from having your kids and everything you own taken from you, leaving you in poverty with no house, alimony, and child support.
I don’t avoid women because they do bad things. Hell, basically everyone does. But the way they rationalize their evil, without guilt, without remorse, is simply inhuman.
Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.
Anonymous13ALL those LTR’s and marriages are going to FAIL.
That’s all marriages and relationships do these days is FAIL.
Those guys, if not already lonely, will be.
The last years of my marriage were the most lonely, f~~~ed up and miserable years of my whole goddam life.
NEVER F~~~ING AGAIN.
I’m now alone and F~~~ it’s ABSOLUTE BLISS.
Thanks for the reply! Glad you’re out and have found some relief and bliss!
But how can we make a relationship not fail? For example, I want to have a family with children and a mother there to raise those children with me. Is that just completely impossible now? If the failure rate for marriage is 50%-60%, that still leaves a big chunk of marriages relationships and marriages that do actually last. I know that this is a MGTOW forum and I don’t mean to be controversial, but is there just no hope whatsoever?
I’m sorry bro, in this modern society I’d have to say NO HOPE.
Marriage failure rate is actually 93% not the 50/60% LIE they want you to believe.
My experience is 100%
Me, my five bothers and, all my friends and colleagues, all divorced or in second marriages.
The marriages left that do survive are not exactly happy.
The man is usually living a life of quiet desperation.
Sorry bro, it’s not good.
It is a LIE.
Sorry for the pain you’re going through, FA. It does get better with time and you’re definitely way better off. I’ll take a moment to list a couple of pros and cons to being MGTOW.
PROS
1. You have a life.
2. I jumped the shark. I should have opened with the best pro.CONS
1. You have no one to cheat on you.
2. No one to tell people you associate with how evil you are in order to gain sympathy for herself.
3. Starting your car without wondering if your brakes will work.
4. No more piranhas in your bathtub.
5. No psycho to try and stab you with a kitchen knife for absolutely no reason.
6. Having to drink coffee without poison to make you feel special.
7. Less likely to be pushed down an elevator shaft.
8. Almost certainly won’t find poisonous snakes hidden in your laundry.
9. Probably won’t get to experience a freak cooking accident in which your face intentionally touches a surface intended to quickly cook meat.
10. Not having your body hair ripped out for no reason.
11. Won’t be randomly insulted about your looks and/or spending behavior.
12. Will wake up without fear of having your eyebrows shaven off.
13. Missing the thrill of waking up in a ditch after a failed attempt on your life.Wow… that’s only two pros and thirteen cons. Maybe you should rethink this decision!
Welcome aboard, man.
Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.Welcome bro and sorry for your pain. I/we have been there.
The question is. Are you gonna let the bitch continue to s~~~ on you or is it time to move on?
I suggest you hit the road bro.
Good luck brother!!
Peace is > piece.
Anonymous43kolaxis…#13 happened to you too? I thought that was unique to me
It’s so hard to live with the thought of not being able to share my life with a good woman.
It’s a hard thing to accept because it’s an important thing to expect. The hard things are always the important things.
Furthermore, you never truly share anything with a woman. You give, she takes. Nothing more.
It’s a big “bluepill” thing to say, but I really enjoyed having her in my life.
You enjoyed the fantasy she constructed, a fantasy based on her lies. She was building a gilded cage.
She really made me happy and motivated to be a better man.
She only gave you the illusion of being happy and whatever motivation she provided was directed towards her own needs.
Everything about your time with her was built on a foundation of lies. Remember that. Remember that every day.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Ok, so I’m NOT going to attack you, because I was like you when I was in my 20’s.
You should be crushed, she did a very bad thing. BUT, you are extremely lucky! You do not have children with her, and if you think you are crushed now, think about that bitch trying to rip you away from your children. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
You can now spend a few days listening to sad songs and being depressed. Then, dust yourself off, learn from this, and be wiser for it. You dodged a big bullet, brother. Now you can go your own way while she continues to destroy lives and families.
Just one very important thing,
DO NOT EVER GET BACK WITH HER….EVER!Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.
So sorry to hear this happened to you mate, but i can empathize because i went through almost exactly the same situation, and i still struggle to deal with it all, despite it being 2 years ago she left.
I thought i’d found the one too. I went through pretty much everything you went through and thought everything was perfect. I thought she loved me, i thought she was happy because she actually told me every day for 2 years how happy she was. Then one day, right as i was getting ready to propose, she wakes up and tells me she has a niggle in her head and she needs some time to think. Within a week she had moved out of my house and it was all over. Within a few months she was moving to america with some new guy.
They do not care about you mate. No matter what they say they do not care about us, only what they can get from us. As soon as they think they can get better, they dump us like trash, like yesterdays news. I think thats the hardest thing to deal with when you’ve truly loved someone, just how quickly they can forget about you…
All the best buddy.
So sorry to hear this happened to you mate, but i can empathize because i went through almost exactly the same situation, and i still struggle to deal with it all, despite it being 2 years ago she left.
I thought i’d found the one too. I went through pretty much everything you went through and thought everything was perfect. I thought she loved me, i thought she was happy because she actually told me every day for 2 years how happy she was. Then one day, right as i was getting ready to propose, she wakes up and tells me she has a niggle in her head and she needs some time to think. Within a week she had moved out of my house and it was all over. Within a few months she was moving to america with some new guy.
They do not care about you mate. No matter what they say they do not care about us, only what they can get from us. As soon as they think they can get better, they dump us like trash, like yesterdays news. I think thats the hardest thing to deal with when you’ve truly loved someone, just how quickly they can forget about you…
All the best buddy.
Thanks for the reply. Sorry to hear that you went through this, man.
I just can’t get over the fact that there is no better deal for her with that guy. He’s married, has 2 kids, isn’t successful, isn’t powerful, etc. I don’t want to sound arrogant, but from me to him is a downright downgrade. I mean it’s not like Johnny Depp came to town and gave her a single rose with a diamond ring around the stem. This guy is a loser. No logic whatsoever.
I had a similar experience with my girlfriend who was my first real girlfriend, we broke up and got back together over the month we were apart she flew out of the country and banged some other guy and had been talking to him for nearly 6 months before I caught her going thru her phone.
We’d been dating for nearly 5 years and I could live with her sleeping with someone else while we were apart but the relationship they maintained after we got back together along with the naked pics and sexually suggestive messages that made me unable to forgive her. For nearly another 5 months I gave her plenty of time to regain my trust.
All she seemed to care about was enjoying herself and continued to hide her passwords from me and wake up extremely early in the morning to check her phone. She also turned off all her notifications from everything so I couldn’t look and see on a locked screen.
How can a person have such f~~~ing disregard for another human being?
The mistake you’re making is thinking she’s a person and a human being. Because she certainly doesn’t think of you as either. She’s a woman. To her you’re just a utility for her benefit, at best. Because she’s the only thing in her personal, private world, and nothing else exists to her except as it relates to her and her desires.
AWALT.
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