I Ain't Gonna Be Co-parenting. Too much SIMP involved.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I Ain’t Gonna Be Co-parenting. Too much SIMP involved.
I’ve taken in some very good comments from other members on another thread I started, but… no can do… I just DO NOT any longer want to deal with ANY crap whatsoever from the ex. Of course I love my sons, but I’m not the type to be one way on the inside and another way on the outside. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe strongly in Stealth, but when it comes to the ex, I’m not going to play along (even for the sake of the kids as many like to mention). You know what people? I’d hazard to guess that co-parenting means for the most part, doing the s~~~ the gynocratic way, really. I’m like so f~~~ing fed up with their s~~~, that I just can’t keep it down! The red pill just don’t mix with “working it out”, because I’m pretty sure that means doing it her way, the let’s-be-friends-so-I-can-have-you-close-enough-to-me-to-manipulate-you-way. F~~~ THAT! Just f~~~ it! It’s gonna be parallel parenting or I’m leaving the country. All my s~~~ is gone, money place, and a good part of my dignity was quite bashed by my ex c~~~. And then she has the gall to come with the m”maybe even be friends”? holy s~~~, no f~~~ing way! f~~~ it! not getting the c~~~ response you hoped for eh babe… What the f~~~ did you think you were going to get with a damned feminist attitude, a land-whalish figure, and a post-wall countenance… Really… GIVE ME A DAMNED BREAK! Of course this is all going co-parenting on Team Girl… right! That’s because now she can see I’m just about so f~~~ing into the ground that I don’t give two s~~~s no more. All is gone thanks to you c~~~! Now leave me alone to rebuild MGTOW style and let me love my sons the way I want to and parallel parent them. F~~~ you c~~~!

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Unc~~~ means to unc~~~! NO CONTACT RULE METHOD TO THE MAX! … And to do that you need to parallel parent, done! P~~~ed

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[bladeParticipant]

Navagate bro , play there f~~~ing game so your kids have you . Some men don’t get that chance to see there kids at all . Your sons need you bro . Call her all the c~~~s under the sun when your kids are older . Ok she wants to be friends . Yes no thank you and no thank you . Play the game .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 42]

Point Of No Return wrote:

The red pill just don’t mix with “working it out”, because I’m pretty sure that means doing it her way, the let’s-be-friends-so-I-can-have-you-close-enough-to-me-to-manipulate-you-way. F~~~ THAT!

I Agree 100 muthaf~~~ing percent! Let these f~~~ing c~~~s fall into the vacuum of space! Be relegated to the mangina standing outside the family circle like douche f~~~ing bag looking in! Doing GOD only knows what orbital favors you’ll get sucked into for the benifet of her molestation f~~~ing chad or piece of f~~~ing s~~~ in front of your her biological test subjects for the benefit of the muthaf~~~ing HIVE!

Point Of No Return wrote:

Of course this is all going co-parenting on Team Girl… right!

Absolutly RIGHT! F~~~ THAT AND F~~~ THEM! Only a nuclear option from every man in this HIVE’s PARADISE will bring the whole f~~~ing thing to the GROUND! You’ll be just as guilty as Chad and Pieceof S~~~ for standing in HIVE’s f~~~ing circle! It would be like you going to butt in on some other single mommy family molester playing the part of Chad while the father is out in the cold freezing to F~~~ING DEATH!

Point Of No Return wrote:

NO CONTACT RULE METHOD TO THE MAX!

No Deposit, No Refund, No Return!

Hey Blade, THEY’RE NOT HIS KIDS! THEY BELONG TO HER, THE STATE AND WHATEVER CHAD OR PIECE OF S~~~ THAT MOVES IN ON THAT F~~~ING MESS!

MY MGTOW IS STRONG!

SO IS YOURS!

LIVE BY THE SWORD, DIE BY THE SWORD! C~~~S!

Imagine that? Oh I’ll help the kids on and off your c~~~ carousel honey, no problem,,, F~~~ ME!

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

The problem with your logic is that you are the simp. Well, because you have children and you are now divorced, etc, etc.

The key is to not simp on with more women. This mommy you are stuck with. Like adhesive glue of the worst magnitude.

Spend some time in Walmart. Meet a disgusting bloated whale that makes you want to puke. Have a conversation with a few of them.

Now, when you interact with your baby momma she is nothing more than a Walmart hag.

The reality is that you are dealing with a baby momma. She is yours to death. Being a man sucks.

All you and I and a bazillion others are at this point is a warning sign for young boys.

You can’t unc~~~. Even if you wanted too. It would be easier to cut your dick off.

Peace brothers

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Maybe I can’t unc~~~, dunno, but I sure as hell know that sames dudes done trying unc~~~ing until he ghosts out f~~~ing completely, and he ain’t no worse off for it!

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Point Of No Return wrote:

Maybe I can’t unc~~~, dunno, but I sure as hell know that sames dudes done trying unc~~~ing until he ghosts out f~~~ing completely, and he ain’t no worse off for it!

Yes. I am there. But, it was a process and a s~~~ load of time and money.

I am telling you the s~~~ my father told me. I never liked what he had to say. But, eventually I pulled my head out and trudged back up that hill of life and this time I was a man.

At your stage you have to deal with baby momma drama. Stealth and ghost are way down the road.

You can take the exit strategy now but if you do, you do!

But, as with any emotional event in life, you need to not make any life decisions yet. As with the death of a parent, you ain’t in a right frame of mind. Where you are is red pill rage. Time to rage! Rage on my brother.

Peace brothers

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

DorkShit wrote:

Point Of No Return wrote:

Maybe I can’t unc~~~, dunno, but I sure as hell know that sames dudes done trying unc~~~ing until he ghosts out f~~~ing completely, and he ain’t no worse off for it!

Yes. I am there. But, it was a process and a s~~~ load of time and money.

I am telling you the s~~~ my father told me. I never liked what he had to say. But, eventually I pulled my head out and trudged back up that hill of life and this time I was a man.

At your stage you have to deal with baby momma drama. Stealth and ghost are way down the road.

You can take the exit strategy now but if you do, you do!

But, as with any emotional event in life, you need to not make any life decisions yet. As with the death of a parent, you ain’t in a right frame of mind. Where you are is red pill rage. Time to rage! Rage on my brother.

Let me think about this. Rage on I will. I will stealth whenever I can afford it, if not all the time. I understand it ain’t something that gets mastered or completely obtained overnight. I do think it’s the right way to go though, meaning that the idea of not revealing is practically essential. No better time to start doing what you gotta do than now.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[narwhalParticipant]

I really don’t know what co-parenting means…probably whatever she wants it to mean.

I think my situation was a bit easier then mine, but I’ll give you some of the things I learned

When she tells you she wants to be friends, you tell her no. Divorce is a naturally antagonistic relationship, it’s not wise to pretend otherwise. It’s not personal, it’s business. You can even press further to say that it’s unfair to pretend that divorce is something other than what it is. I don’t want them to make the same mistakes I/we made by giving them the wrong impression.

You will also have to set precedent that you will say no, when you mean to say no. Whatever she wants co-parenting to be, it doesn’t mean she gets your support when you disagree. You have no obligation to support her parenting decisions…that’s what divorce means. You don’t want o undermine her and cause worse harm over relatively minor issues, but she isn’t running the show either.

I’d say my ex and I don’t co-parent. I don’t deal with educational issues. My ex is a teacher, is better equipped to deal with those issues, and it’s too much trouble for me to try and get involved. I’m not saying she always handles it well, but I’m ok with it this way. I try and deal with character issues more than anything. I parent based on what I see in their behavior. I let them know how I deal with issues in my life and support them when they make good decisions. I know my ex also talks about character issues, but I don’t believe we send mixed messages.

If I’m thinking of your story correctly, your very early off in this. It will get better if you set the right boundaries now. She will learn what does and does not work. I can’t say for absolute certain since I don’t know this woman, but I believe that it’s too early to throw in the towel just yet.

Ok. Then do it.

[narwhalParticipant]

…and one more thing. No emotional arguments. If you can’t speak to her calmly and rationally, you talk to her another time. If she triggers you, you hang up and talk another time.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, she isn’t allowed to raise her voice or get emotionally with you. You hang up and talk another time. She doesn’t get to use you as an emotional tampon. This will p~~~ her off, but she will learn.

I think taking that attitude has helped me out more then anything. I rarely even emotionally react to her. She’s tried to shame me a few times to get what she wants, and she gets no reaction from me.

“Money is tight right now” – irrelevant, I don’t care.

“My new husband cares more about our son than you” – your opinion is irrelevant, I don’t care.

“You’re selfish!” – I don’t care.

Despite what she may say, telling her “I don’t want to” is a perfectly good reason for you not to do whatever it is she wants to do.

Ok. Then do it.

[AttonParticipant]

Cop parenting is an oxymoron, you’re a parent or your not that simple.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

narwhal wrote:

She doesn’t get to use you as an emotional tampon. This will p~~~ her off, but she will learn

This is good advice and is the path to master.

I actually never took a phone call. If it was an emergency, deal with it. I’m 500 miles away. I trust that as baby momma you will over react to protect our son, etc.

I only dealt with her voice mail for first five years. She probably thought it was to have record for court etc. It wasn’t. Courts could give a s~~~. It was because I set the boundary. Zero emotional garbage.

Also, I did two things regarding communication.

1. I got a phone in my apartment and that was the only number my son, ex wife, her family and almost all of my family had.

2. I got a new cell phone number for daily use and was ultra careful who had it. I screwed up and a friend unwittingly gave it to my ex wife. I just got a new number. Just s~~~ you deal with.

I would go days or weeks with apartment voice recognition recorder blinking. Also, I turned ringer off and never heard it ring.

I only monitored to see if son called. If he did I’d return call on that phone.

Peace brothers

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

I had to look up parallel parenting. Didn’t realize it but this is what I do. Too much bulls~~~ otherwise. Good for you and good for your children.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

narwhal wrote:

…and one more thing. No emotional arguments. If you can’t speak to her calmly and rationally, you talk to her another time. If she triggers you, you hang up and talk another time.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, she isn’t allowed to raise her voice or get emotionally with you. You hang up and talk another time. She doesn’t get to use you as an emotional tampon. This will p~~~ her off, but she will learn.

I think taking that attitude has helped me out more then anything. I rarely even emotionally react to her. She’s tried to shame me a few times to get what she wants, and she gets no reaction from me.

“Money is tight right now” – irrelevant, I don’t care.

“My new husband cares more about our son than you” – your opinion is irrelevant, I don’t care.

“You’re selfish!” – I don’t care.

Despite what she may say, telling her “I don’t want to” is a perfectly good reason for you not to do whatever it is she wants to do.

Two great posts Narwhal, thanks for sharing. Not feeling bad about either thinking ‘I don’t care’ or actually saying “I don’t want to” is right on the money. I couldn’t agree more.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

DorkShit wrote:

narwhal wrote:

She doesn’t get to use you as an emotional tampon. This will p~~~ her off, but she will learn

This is good advice and is the path to master.

I actually never took a phone call. If it was an emergency, deal with it. I’m 500 miles away. I trust that as baby momma you will over react to protect our son, etc.

I only dealt with her voice mail for first five years. She probably thought it was to have record for court etc. It wasn’t. Courts could give a s~~~. It was because I set the boundary. Zero emotional garbage.

Also, I did two things regarding communication.

1. I got a phone in my apartment and that was the only number my son, ex wife, her family and almost all of my family had.

2. I got a new cell phone number for daily use and was ultra careful who had it. I screwed up and a friend unwittingly gave it to my ex wife. I just got a new number. Just s~~~ you deal with.

I would go days or weeks with apartment voice recognition recorder blinking. Also, I turned ringer off and never heard it ring.

I only monitored to see if son called. If he did I’d return call on that phone.

That what you write makes a lot of sense to me and is really in line with The No Contact Rule method that I really like to use. I’ve even told my ex when she asked me why a don’t respond to her on certain questions… I told her it’s because they can be dealt with at a later date. That one works like a charm.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 1]

I had to look the term up, too.

This is what we’re doing. All dealings with the ex are financial (to be closed in due course, and preferably kept between lawyers) and matters pertaining to handover of kids.

Nothing more.

We (I) do not discuss other crap. Her problems are not mine. Her opinion of my parenting is (as Narwahl so elegantly put it) – irrelevant.

[Xavier MaloryParticipant 65]

Apparently I too am doing parallel parenting and did not realize it. I also had to look this up and I found a pretty good article that explains the benefits to it and most importantly why it’s helpful for your children.

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/difference-between-co-parenting-and-parallel-parenting-

One thing I’ll say is this: Do not, no matter how much you want to, do not insult your child’s mother to your child’s face. You are a hero to your child and unfortunately so is the child’s mother. And the worst thing for a child is to hear one hero trash talking the other one. You will basically make that child not want to spend any time with you at all.

The trouble with "Facts" and "Opinions" is the average idiot thinks they're synonyms.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Undoubtedly, it is best to keep ANY type of comment about the other parent to a minimum when discussing with the child, in my opinion.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

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