Good afternoon!
I’ve spent most of my unscheduled day off reading through random posts and just wanted to say that I’ve had a lot of laughs and just about as many cringes… I’m 37 and have been divorced for three years this September. I met my ex wife while we were both serving in the Army. She was the first women I had met that could tolerate my masculinity and dish it back to me. I thought that was what I wanted, but it ended up being the downfall of our relationship. Prior to getting hitched, we deployed together. My deployment didn’t go as well as her’s (my previous deployments were no cake walk either). Witnessed some stuff that you’d never think you would see. On one terrible evening, an NCO on the FOB gunned down his squad leader and fellow team leader in cold blood. The week before, the platoon lost two guys after an IED attack. War is well for sure. And this deployment changed me.
We came back to the “real world” and got married. Shortly after, we both left the military and I landed a job in the private sector. She had trouble getting employment because she was pregnant with our oldest, and as I’d come to find out, she was a pretty terrible person – which hiring managers must have been able to identify. I was blind to it all. The pressures of being the sole provider for two people – then three – in a fast paced world was a lot to handle. These pressures complicated the experiences of my previous deployments. This is when I took the blue pill. I became detached from the marriage even though we quickly had baby #2. I found a job that would send me to Iraq for a few months and jumped at the opportunity. It was a relief to be back in the sandbox, but being away from my kids (both boys) was tough. My ex started to get on my case about stupid stuff. By this time she had a job, but now she needed extra help back home. We had a babysitter/housekeeper that came in early in the morning and a live-in au pair to watch the kids (it was cheaper than having two kids in daycare). The money we were making was never enough and the things we had weren’t up to her standards. We bought a house – that needed a lot of upgrades – and new cars. I came home to a complete s~~~ show. Worst of all, I came to find out that had been cheating. This crushed me. She accused me of doing a bunch of stuff before I left and I ate it up. It went back and forth for a while. One night I forgave her and thought things were right as rain. I set out to improve myself. Started working out again, got back into taking college courses, was a better dad to my boys, and thought I was a better husband. Fast forward a year or so, and she tells me before going on a lengthy work trip that she wanted a divorce. Left me with the two kids and the au pair for months. While she is gone, she meets her new guy. She had wedding plans before our divorce was final.
The divorce went better than I expected. I didn’t have to spend a s~~~ ton of money and we split everything about 50/50 (the proceeds from the house sale and the debt). Everything except for the kids… She wanted me to have “liberal visitation” which isn’t awful as the job I had at that time required me to work weekends and holidays. The kick to the nuts came one day when she said she was moving across the state to live with (and later) marry this guy she’d met. There was nothing I could do at the time to stop her. The divorce decree prohibited us from moving outside the state, she just happened to move to a place 4 hours away from me, but in the same state. I see my kids every other weekend, spring break, a couple weeks in the summer, some major holidays. The depression really kicked in, but before I could do anything to myself, I sought professional help and got my mind right. Lexipro was great, but also freaked me out. I opted to go through counseling without antidepressants.
My post divorce story isn’t too terrible either. I was able to move in with my brother’s family for the first year. I have to thank him for offering me my red pill moment. While I felt like I was getting somewhere, I had no focus. I was just kind of surviving. He woke me up to the circumstances I was facing. I got out of a lot of debt – but bought a brand new truck just because – and finally finished my college degree. I moved into a bachelor pad closer to work, joined a nearby gym, joined the nearby range, and have a pretty kick ass routine.
I’ve dated some, but have been routinely frustrated with the females I’ve met. Those available in my age range are mostly never married with no kids, or divorced (for obvious reasons). Both seem to hate men and blame them for their problems. I’ve been consuming lots of Jordan B Peterson and totally understand how the Marxist left has ruined men, and how females my age are angry, bitter spinsters. Our culture sucks, and despite my enthusiasm after 11/8/2016, don’t see it improving any time soon. So, for now, I’m going my own way.
Y_ 1 year, 10 months ago.
