How to not five a f~~~ about my boss?

[onmywayParticipant 502]

Hi brothers.
Need some advice.
I’m 1 year into my first full time job and things are doing OK. However, I have a boss that’s a total bitch – she’s an unstable, 60-year old post-wall c~~~ that know nothing about IT, yet for some reason is my boss (I work in IT).
I’m confident in my skills and my co-workers like me and know that I’m more than capable of pulling my own weight. However, my boss is just a total mess and will act like a f~~~ing roller coaster going from nice to a total bitch every other second.

I’m not under the impression that work will ever be fun. That’s why I’m saving 70% of my income and saving up a stash of coin ASAP. However, for the time being I’m a wage slave and will have to suck it up. I am looking at other jobs, but I would love to be able to just not give a f~~~ about my boss. Like I said, I’m confident in my skills, and I know they would be screwed without me. However, I let my boss’ roller coaster mood-swings get to me, and it sucks. Rationally I know it’s not a big deal, but she still manages to get into my head. I would love to be able to just smile and not give a flying f~~~, but her f~~~ed up comments linger on in my head throughout the day..
Do you guys have any advice on dealing with bosses like this and/or on not giving a f~~~ in general?

Thanks!

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Lots of people quit their boss.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Anonymous 42]

onmyway wrote:

she’s an unstable, 60-year old post-wall c~~~ that know nothing

BINGO!

onmyway wrote:

my boss is just a total mess and will act like a f~~~ing roller coaster going from nice to a total bitch every other second.

Turn “on” and “off” in pace with her mood swings c~~~ on you ghost, don’t even look at her or talk to her, tune that s~~~ out, when it’s c~~~ off go back to your normal self, and ONLY because she’s your boss, otherwise she gets an eternal shun just for expecting you to endure c~~~ mode. She needs a good hard f~~~ing!

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

I feel your pain, bro. I deal with it everyday. I tune out as much as I can – if your place permits it, use earbuds and listen to music. When the old crocodile confronts you smile then walk away thinking “sucks to be her”. Focus like a laser on your work and ghost as much as you can. Eventually she’ll retire or you will find another gig. Good luck!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

onmyway wrote:

That’s why I’m saving 70% of my income and saving up a stash of coin ASAP

It’s important to have a “f~~~ you fund” – like 3/4/5/6= months salary in reserve that you don’t touch for any reason. It adds an unspoken level of confidence so you don’t feel like you have to take it up the ass from anyone just to make the rent.

onmyway wrote:

However, for the time being I’m a wage slave and will have to suck it up.

That’s what you want to get away from. But good for you for biding your time. It’s a requirement too.

onmyway wrote:

I am looking at other jobs, but I would love to be able to just not give a f~~~ about my boss.

onmyway wrote:

Do you guys have any advice on dealing with bosses like this and/or on not giving a f~~~ in general?

Remind yourself –>> a “job” is only something you need to make enough money to do the things you WANT to do when you’re not working for someone else.

REPEAT: A “job” is only something you need to make enough money to do the things you WANT to do when you’re not working for someone else.

Internalize it.
( There is no need to say it out loud to anyone but yourself. )

This way, it’s never devastating if you lose it or get laid off, it’s easier to walk away from, and it’s a just the mental switch you need to boost your confidence JUST ENOUGH to know the limits of what you are willing to put up with.

Also…. in your case, dial UP the politeness when she’s being a c~~~.

“You need to have that report on my desk by end of day”

Don’t say “Ok”. Don’t say “no problem”. Don’t say “sure”.
Tell her: “Certainly I’d be happy to”. (and nothing else)

Be extra GLAD and happy when she’s a c~~~.

• “Good morning” instead of “hi”.
• “My pleasure” instead of “sure”.
• “Certainly” instead of “OK”.
• When she says something you don’t like ….. SMILE.
• When she doesn’t like it… SMILE MORE.

Display more manners and courtesy than she does.
Be classier than she is.

This drives un-f~~~ed miserable bitches crazy and they can’t nail you on it. Keep the dialogue to a minimum. But most importantly NEVER STAY A MINUTE LONGER than you have to. By 5:01 PM you are already on your way out. Also come in one minute before work or earlier. Bitches also hate that. You can also come in 30 minutes early and make sure she notices, and then LEAVE to go get coffee or breakfast and then come back 1 minute before work starts.

NO extra hours without an incentive. NO answering the phone when you’re done. Any conversation at end of day will be cut short because you’re done and have to leave because you have plans. Let her wonder if you might be going to another job.

Just a few thoughts. Throw away what you don’t like or agree with.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

Remind yourself –>> a “job” is only something you need to make enough money to do the things you WANT to do when you’re not working for someone else.

REPEAT: A “job” is only something you need to make enough money to do the things you WANT to do when you’re not working for someone else.

This is pure gold.

I once told this Columbian girl I was dating that the primary reason I worked was to make money to go on surf trips. She concluded I wasn’t serious about getting married [she was correct, but for the wrong reason]. I was also not serious about becoming her disposable resource center either. “NEXT??”

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

Keymaster wrote:

This drives un-f~~~ed miserable bitches crazy and they can’t nail you on it. Keep the dialogue to a minimum. But most importantly NEVER STAY A MINUTE LONGER than you have to. By 5:01 PM you are already on your way out. Also come in one minute before work or earlier. Bitches also hate that. You can also come in 30 minutes early and make sure she notices, and then LEAVE to go get coffee or breakfast and then come back 1 minute before work starts.

NO extra hours without an incentive. NO answering the phone when you’re done. Any conversation at end of day will be cut short because you’re done and have to leave because you have plans. Let her wonder if you might be going to another job.

A caveat, having this attitude is an excellent way to get fired, especially if you’re still on probation. Believe me, I speak from experience. Employment is usually “at will,” which means, unless you’re unionized, any party can terminate it at any time for any reason (except if it’s for an illegal reason).

Not saying this attitude is a bad thing (you have to decide what’s more valuable, the paycheck or your self-respect and dignity; in my case, I chose the latter), or that you shouldn’t do it, but remember the question of Does it feel good to do this? is a very, very different one from Does it do good to do this?

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

this Columbian girl I was dating

Oh man – those Colombian chicks are my kryptonite. My biggest mistake was marrying one. Ugh – think earthquake + tornado + hurricane + atomic bomb all rolled in to one.

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

surf trips

Very cool! Where’s your favorite? Any good spots in Colombia?

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

onmyway wrote:

saving 70% of my income

Smart. I wish i had done this when i started working. I spent it all on girlfriends instead. F~~~.

onmyway wrote:

not give a f~~~ about my boss

Think about what this means – do you care if she thinks you’re a lazy asshole? Do you care if she tries to get you fired?

Hint: For large companies it’s hard for a manager to fire one of their directs. They typically need 6 months of s~~~ty performance that’s documented + verbal & written notifications, a sit-down with HR, a 60 day period to improve etc.

Also – look at opportunities within the company for lateral transfer. People usually quit bosses, not jobs.

Most importantly: interview for a new job every 3 months. At least.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

Does it feel good to do this? is a very, very different one from Does it do good to do this?

That’s the difference between an emotionally-based decision (always bad for you) v.s a sensible one. (good for you)

Rockmaninoff wrote:

A caveat, having this attitude is an excellent way to get fired

Or a raise. And I can speak from experience on that too.

You tell them you would be HAPPY to help them with sufficient notice. But not when you’re on your way out the door at end of day. You’ll discuss it with them the morning – because it should already be assumed that you have made personal plans. Unless you’re in the business of saving lives, any employer who expects you to stay after the time required (or what he pays you for) needs to have his head examined.

Doing so means you failed his/her s~~~ test.

“I’ll be happy to discuss it with you first thing in the morning.
Tonight I have theatre tickets. Have a pleasant evening.”.

Done. If you’re fired for that, you were never worth much to them anyway.

At any employment level, you can (and probably should) ABSOLUTELY & REALISTICALLY demand and expect 24 hours minimum notice for anything. It would be unreasonable to assume as “yes” at 4:59 PM. You can say it to their face and feel good about it too.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[onmywayParticipant 502]

Thank you guys so much for your replies! Have to run for work now, but this gave me some ideas on how to cope with things! Highly appreciated!

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

MattNYC wrote:

Very cool! Where’s your favorite? Any good spots in Colombia?

I have not, yet, made it to Columbia. I’ve heard great things about it though. I would consider it as a retirement destination.
I live in the southeast USA, so I usually go to Costa Rica or El Salvador. Panama & Nicaragua look good as well. When I lived in San Diego, I went all over the South Pacific/Indo/Mainland Mex/etc.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Author]

Posts