How to Handle Someone Who is C~~~y

[QuellParticipant 2538]

In my group of friends one of my longtime buddies introduced his new coworker to all of us about a year ago. At first everyone like him but this guy is very “salesman” like. He is in the financial industry and a very smooth talker, however you can tell most of it is phony with hints of assholes undertones.

In addition to being a smooth talker, he is flashy and boastful. He does well but not like tons of money well. He leases a BMW, has a small condo and like to dress in suits for no apparent reason. This guy is an American but of foreign decent and bathes in cologne. He likes to wear flashy watches and make a big scene about various trips he goes on. He enjoys name dropping (mostly of local or unknown members of industry) and is generally just a prick wrapped up in a overbearing positive attitude.

Last night he insisted of making a big scene by buying a woman waitress a drink who had just gotten off duty. She didn’t really want it and was going home but he had to insist etc…

How do you handle someone like this? He is a part of my group of friends but I can’t stand this guy. I try to avoid him within the group but it’s not like I can distance myself from him entirely.

[BoarParticipant]

It might be best to start distancing yourself from that group. If that group is tolerating such a rampant narcissist, they are in his clutches. You can either affirm his greatness or become the group target.

If you were really cruel, you could send him on a few dates with a lovely cluster b lady and call it good. Just be far far away when the fireworks start….

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

Are you only one in group annoyed by him? Hard to imagine given the “birds of a feather” rule

[Anonymous 42]

Blow his f~~~ing head off when nobody’s looking!

just kidding…

[Anonymous 7]

Boar wrote:

It might be best to start distancing yourself from that group.

^This is probably best.

The guy sounds like a real c~~~. Unc~~~ing your life is not restricted to da laydeez.

[OldBillParticipant]

Quell wrote:

How do you handle someone like this?

Your best choice is to stop socializing with that group. If you choose to stay, you’ve a choice of handling him passively or actively.

If you decide to go the passive route, you “cut” him. That is you ignore him, ignore that he says, talk past him, talk over him, and so forth. After getting a cold shoulder, he may figure it out and turn down his behavior.

If you decide to go the active route, you call him on his s~~~. Every time he shows off, you immediately tell him to stop showing off. For example, if he’s wearing too much cologne, you remark on the odor and ask if he purchases it by the gallon. After being constantly called on his s~~~, he may get the idea.

I pulled the fangs on a similar man once by putting a hand on his shoulder and saying “I’m not one of your customers so stop trying to sell s~~~ to me.” That woke him up a bit.

In another example a co-worker named “Marty” constantly put down another co-worker named “Brad” whenever “Brad” started bragging. It seems “Brad” had married an honest-to-god heiress and loved dropping little comments about his new lifestyle. “Brad” was “complaining” once about having to find someone to plow the road to their ski lodge before they could drive up for the long weekend when “Marty” flatly told him to “Buy a helicopter”.

For the rest of our dinner break, every time “Brad” mentioned the lodge road, “Marty” would say “Buy a helicopter”. Before long we all were saying it and doing so whenever “Brad” started bragging about anything.

Because we were constantly giving him s~~~ about buying a helicopter, “Brad” stopped bragging about his wife’s family’s money.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[JVBParticipant]

Yeh, just distance yourself. Don’t stress it.

Peace is > piece.

[joetechParticipant]

He sounds like a woman that’s had a sex change operation.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[kizellParticipant 368]

If he is Persian, there is no hope for him.

[QuellParticipant 2538]

OldBill wrote:

Quell wrote:

How do you handle someone like this?

Your best choice is to stop socializing with that group. If you choose to stay, you’ve a choice of handling him passively or actively.

If you decide to go the passive route, you “cut” him. That is you ignore him, ignore that he says, talk past him, talk over him, and so forth. After getting a cold shoulder, he may figure it out and turn down his behavior.

If you decide to go the active route, you call him on his s~~~. Every time he shows off, you immediately tell him to stop showing off. For example, if he’s wearing too much cologne, you remark on the odor and ask if he purchases it by the gallon. After being constantly called on his s~~~, he may get the idea.

I pulled the fangs on a similar man once by putting a hand on his shoulder and saying “I’m not one of your customers so stop trying to sell s~~~ to me.” That woke him up a bit.

In another example a co-worker named “Marty” constantly put down another co-worker named “Brad” whenever “Brad” started bragging. It seems “Brad” had married an honest-to-god heiress and loved dropping little comments about his new lifestyle. “Brad” was “complaining” once about having to find someone to plow the road to their ski lodge before they could drive up for the long weekend when “Marty” flatly told him to “Buy a helicopter”.

For the rest of our dinner break, every time “Brad” mentioned the lodge road, “Marty” would say “Buy a helicopter”. Before long we all were saying it and doing so whenever “Brad” started bragging about anything.

Because we were constantly giving him s~~~ about buying a helicopter, “Brad” stopped bragging about his wife’s family’s money.

That is sage advice Old Bill. Other people in the group are also annoyed by this guy as well but kind of put up with him. Some like him more than others.

I need to think about some comebacks when he starts bragging. He loves to brag about how’s he is a well respected member of the United Airlines Admiral’s Club. He has so many miles etc…

I’ve noticed Salesman types are mostly liars but have a way of taking a lie a sell it with such conviction that you begin to doubt the truth even though you know the right answer.

I had a conversation with a salesman co-worker about hamburgers a few months ago. The topic got on Wendy’s and I stated that Wendy’s no longer puts mustard on their burgers and that they changed up everything a few years ago. I knew that to be the truth as I had read it awhile back. However, with conviction he stated that was not the case and Wendy’s absolutely had mustard on their hamburgers. I began to doubt myself… I looked it up 30 minutes later and sure enough I was right, Wendy’s had changed up their burgers to discontinue mustard as a condiment.

I despise people like that… those that can lie with such conviction where you can no longer tell their true personality from their fake persona.

[Anonymous 12]

Do you have to handle them at all?

Usually the c~~~iness is to make up for various shortcomings in their personality and ability. I had to train one guy recently at work who was very brash and c~~~y and he basically wasted his training.

I tend to be passive aggressive so I sat back and let him waste his time. I knew that when he finished his training he would be lost. Which he is.

Let them fall.

[trader1913Participant 1577]

Opportunity cost.

You could be making money, developing a new skill, enjoying a hobby, spending time with family (people who truly care about you). There are so many things you could be doing besides being around a social vampire.

[Anonymous 14]

When I was young I would punch dudes like this in the mouth the first time they gave me reason to. Today? I avoid them like s~~~ on a sidewalk.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3797]

Anonymous wrote:

When I was young I would punch dudes like this in the mouth the first time they gave me reason to. Today? I avoid them like s~~~ on a sidewalk.

Exactly, they’re the first ones to call the cops and charge you with assault even though they’ve been harassing you verbally for months.

Let them burn by themselves.

Quell: how much do you care about the rest of your group of friends ?

[Anonymous 1]

trader1913 wrote:

Opportunity cost.

You could be making money, developing a new skill, enjoying a hobby, spending time with family (people who truly care about you). There are so many things you could be doing besides being around a social vampire.

Pretty much this.

you can tackle a problem that isn’t yours or just remove yourself from the problem.

Old Bill’s anecdote was quite brilliant though.

Buy a helicopter lolz.

[Anonymous 54]

I ask them to show me what it is they do soooo f~~~ing well.

Lets see it…

[bstoffParticipant 4884]

When you’re making plans with members of your group, ask if they mind excluding the “coworker buddy”.
You might be surprised how willing everyone, including the original friend, is to cut him loose.

[iMickey503Participant 12468]

Anonymous wrote:

Blow his f~~~ing head off when nobody’s looking!

just kidding…

That is one HELL of a blowjob!

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

iMickey503 wrote:

MG-ɹǝʍo┴ wrote:

Blow his f~~~ing head off when nobody’s looking!

just kidding…

That is one HELL of a blowjob!

Must be a Dyson TM

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[rebelandboltmanParticipant 640]

Let them make a fool of themselves. That will be their wake up call.

[Author]

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