How to deal with envy?

[GrotesqueRogueParticipant 116]

Hi.
I would like to get your input, guys, on my situation. It is somewhat banal, but still bothers me, because I don’t know what action I should take and how I should reflect on myself.

I don’t really spend time with female “friendzzz” anymore and am focused on self-development and enjoying my life. Nevertheless, I sometimes chat with those whom I have known for almost 8-9 years.

There is a girl, who unknowingly got handed opportunities and some of the dreams that I dream about. While I logically conclude that I should be glad for her (as for any person who is moving forward), this is a major disturbance for me sometimes, because there’s still envy – I am not there yet when it comes to reaping the results of my progress, I know what experiences it will allow me to have, and there she is, getting everything.

I don’t quite know how I should reflect on myself. Experiencing envy is not great for my psychological well-being, but I can’t seem to figure out how I should deal with it – this is not the first time, and trying to be logical doesn’t help that much, since I still experience somewhat of envy.

How exactly should I work on myself? I understand that this situation might actually help me in the long run to know myself better.
Should I just cut off any contact with her to stop this flow of disturbance (solely for this purpose)?
Should I try to find new ways to deal with my envy?
Do I think way too much about it?

How would you go about such a situation?

Happy International MGTOW day.

Thanks.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

GrotesqueRogue wrote:

Should I try to find new ways to deal with my envy?

Just a slight attitude adjustment.

Have no illusions. Being given a leg up is not a good thing. It does women NO favors. They are NOT “better off” because of it and you should never envy her for it. Envying the unearned advantages for women is for other women. Not men. We operate on an entirely different plane.

A man sees another successful man driving around in a hot expensive car and admires him. When you see a woman driving around in an way-hot car, it was very likely to her in a divorce settlement. Especially if she still expects a man to buy her a drink. Collects alimony from her ex — monthly — and still wants men to take her out and but her a drink.

Who could ever “envy” that but another woman?

You could only “envy” her for it if YOU would feel good about taking your spouse to the cleaners and were able to defeat your conscience like a woman can. They don’t give a s~~~ if $1500 a months is “enough” child support. She will take the MAXIMUM $7000 / $10,000 / $40,000 a month alimony payment and feel good about herself…. and she won’t even buy him a boat for Christmas to say “thanks”. Even if it kills him.

Have you seen the way Robin Williams ex-wife is fighting over his estate with her kids? It’s f~~~ing disgusting. He suicided himself and wrote alimony checks for $35,000,000. Not a single bitch said “That’s OK Robin. $5 million is PLENTY and more than I ever earned, thanks”.

They don’t give a f~~~.

This worthless c~~~ rejected at $975 Million-dollar check from her billionaire husband as “not enough”. Even with $975 million, she’s “worthless”.

Can you envy that? I sure as s~~~ don’t. Never could.

The only people who wishes they were her….. are other women.

Happy International MGTOW Day to you too.
Strength and honor.

Honor is a male abstraction. Don’t expect women to understand.

P.S. I realize this is overblowing your point because you were;t talking about it on such a grand scale, but when I see how women are constantly given things, look at it through a magnifying glass and you’ll notice it’s not a good thing as much as it may appear.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Rogue

I believe you are thinking too much about it. Let it go, lots of people are handed opportunities that they will not appreciate and p~~~ away. All you or I can do is accept and appreciate the opportunities and adversities we are handed, and work with it.
You would be surprised how many people resent how easy their lives and opportunities are.

Then again, WTF do I know. Too many tank hatches to the back of the head dontcha know 🙂

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[RoyDalParticipant]

What works for me is to focus on my own well being, my own growth. When I’m envious, it means I’m focusing on another’s, and there is no benefit to me in that.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[SpacemonkeyParticipant 1481]

When I see or hear of some body doing well in life I try to focus on the positive; if they can do it then I can do it too. I admire people who have worked on their dream and have achieved their goals. Even if it has been handed to them I say good luck to them, maybe I will have such good fortune one day.

I would not cut off your friend for being lucky so long as the friendship is still giving both of you something of value. Sometimes good luck can change people and maybe that is the cost of fortune. Nothing, not even good luck is free of cost.

“Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light.”

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

Focus on the flaws of the people you are envious of, doing so will make you less jealous of them.

[AttonParticipant]

There is a girl, who unknowingly got handed opportunities and some of the dreams that I dream about.

There is a big difference in achievement between people that get everything handed to them. When compared to people who actually have to work for it. Sustained and unrelenting commitment towards the things you care about is the ultimate achievement, stay focused.
Happy International MGTOW day to you all

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Consider your starting point and the work required to reach the boost given to her as opportunity to be fully performing by the time you reach where she was given the gift of reaching through less effort.

It will make you better at whatever you are doing, that you have achieved the gains. By earning your way to the place you want to be, it will be sweeter and deserved when you get there.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

I have accepted that life isn’t fair and happiness is accepting what you have.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[WhackerGuy2030Participant 999]

Count your blessings. Position and income are small pieces of the pie. There is also health, freedom, friends, personal time, and the absence of stress. I value those five far more than position and income.

Re-evaluate your goals. She is not the first person to be “promoted to the point of failure.” And she won’t be the last. Often times those spots were never open in the first place. There was a person in waiting that was already picked before the job was posted. Long run, that’s not a place you want to be anyway.

[Anonymous 5]

I just admit to myself that I envy a Rich/famous person then I move on with life. “I wish I could be Leo Dicaprio, but I am not, oh well. Time to go do something productive and maybe I will make it someday”.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I try to use such negative emotions, and I think that both negative and positive emotions are natural and necessary to the proper functioning of humans, to provide motivation for me to achieve more. I compete with the person with whom I am envious.

For example, in your situation I would throw myself into my work and compete with her for who can do her job better. Try to find leverage that you can use on her from the supervisor above her. In a sense go over her head with projects or ideas that the main manager likes making sure you get the credit, not her.

I think you get the idea.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Don’t think about it. Like you said, sounds like the contact you have with them is minimal except for every once in a while you talk. F~~~ it, just keep on ignoring them, and eventually they will go away.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

What Keymaster said. You can’t really envy what someone else got for free, but you can respect and be inspired by what they earned for themselves.

What I suspect you’re really feeling is not envy, but a sense of injustice that this woman was, as you say, handed opportunities that you were trying to create for yourself. Look at it this way… life is not fair and there are times when people gain advantage through unfair means. In this case your best move is to ignore what this woman got and stick to your own plans to get what you want.

Chances are that if she was handed the opportunities and did not earn them, she will not be able to maintain them anyway. Don’t waste your time eating the dust of someone you feel is ahead of you momentarily, rather focus on your strategy for getting where you want to get. Then if you do see her face down in a ditch somewhere down the road, you can mark one up for justice and keep on you way without a second thought.

[HitmanParticipant]

i go to work , earn a paycheck,pay taxes ,buy my own food and clothing ,pay for my dwelling.
some are given all that without working for it.
i am not jealous, but i can sometimes feel resentment.
however i have something they do not ..
PRIDE OF OWNERSHIP.
i VALUE what i own.
those who receive free housing, food stamps, welfare ,DO NOT , can not have the pride that comes with the effort put in when you EARN it and aren’t HANDED it .
they are really prisoner’s of the system that feeds them with my tax money.
they just can’t see that though .

[VarunParticipant 2981]

This was my problem exactly. And I’m telling you that you’re very lucky that there guys over here like KM and others to ‘guide’ you through. In my time, all I had was myself. I got dead jeaous….in the end, it got the best of me. I survived by a scratch.

The thing is… after just 2 months of no-contact period, I ot rid of all my envy. Time is reallly a very big healer.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[Author]

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