Anyway, I really want to go to my allotment and get started on clearing it.. I really want to get back to my martial arts classes and down the gym seriously but it’s like I now keep forgetting or trying to find excuses to get out of it.. I’m trying to find motivation but nothing is really clicking.. Any advice would be good.

Keep pounding man Keep pounding

–do it every day. Habits are exponentially harder to build when you do them a few days a week instead of every day.

–understand you only have a limited amount of willpower every day. You can’t just will yourself to do anything all of the time or you’ll exhaust yourself. For this reason you should do the things you want to do in the morning if possible.

–make it easy on yourself. don’t try to jump into 2-hour lifting routines right away. You may have been able to do it before but it is going to be difficult to pick up where you left off. If you’re getting into lifting, do 15 minute workouts first. Do 1 set of the exercise to get the feel of it and to get your mind rewired for doing it every day.

-Don’t miss a day. NEVER miss 2. If you miss a day, you forgive yourself and you make that thing you missed the most important thing you do today. if you miss 2 days in a row you are basically starting over. Don’t allow yourself to lose the momentum you’ve built.

-This one is important: Embrace the process. When you start a habit, the beginning is going to be the hardest thing you ever do. All you are going to think about is quitting, but if you get past 10 days or so, you go from horrible to just uncomfortable. Then once that habit is just about in place it’ll become ever harder to quit than it is to keep going.

I’m paraphrasing from a video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXYAEtht4_w

If you need any other resources about certain aspects of getting back into things let me know.

Well I’m getting over depression, as usual there were no resources around me for depressed men, it was all women’s shelters and so on.. So I have to deal with it myself. Anyway, I really want to go to my allotment and get started on clearing it.. I really want to get back to my martial arts classes and down the gym seriously but it’s like I now keep forgetting or trying to find excuses to get out of it.. I’m trying to find motivation but nothing is really clicking.. Any advice would be good.

You are not alone, and do not allow ANYONE (including yourself) to think it is un “manly” to be depressed. Life has always been brutal, but I believe it is more brutal on men in todays day and age then before.

I have struggled with depression off and on for over a decade. Especially after I lost both of my parents when I was in my 20’s. Men arent immune to it. I would argue we are more susceptible to it, because we are not only accountable for our actions, but we are more logical thinkers, capable of abstraction, introspection, and deeper thought. Women are not so.

As far as advice goes:

#1 dont beat yourself up for the way you are feeling

#2 dont isolate yourself. This is VERY difficult to do when your depressed. Its natural to be a recluse and not be around anyone, but this exponentially magnifies the problem

#3 talk to people you know you can trust and are authentically concerned about your well being,

#4 exercise. Even if it is merely a walk, it will help balance you out. If its strenuous enough your body will release endorphins, and it will lighten your mood.

To me it all starts with diet. You are what you eat. It is easy to be motivated about this because you have to eat. You have to understand diet to make serious physical gains. It also helps save money by working on your diet. I think by starting with what you eat everyday and concentrating on that, you will find that not only does a proper diet save money and help you look better, it will make you feel better as well.

+1

1. Pick one (maybe two) new habit to commit to.
2. Get a wall calendar (very important) and write on  it the next 30 instances of the new habit (may be every day, every 3 days, etc.).
3. Every morning, look at the calendar and remind yourself of just the next instance and verbally, out loud, say when and how you are going to do it.
4. After doing it, cross out that instance on the calendar
5. Ignore tracking the days as it will build false confidence and tempt you to “skip” or compromise.
6. By about the 20th instance you will find yourself strangely drawn towards the new habit, looking forward to doing it, and feeling odd if you happen to miss it.
7. After the last instance is crossed off, celebrate in some way.  You will actually find it difficult to stop doing your new habit.
8. Go on to the next habit(s) you want to develop.

It really is that simple, but also that hard.  An inconsistent/irregular lifestyle makes it much harder.  While developing new habits, also commit to a more regimented, consistent lifestyle.

To me it all starts with diet. You are what you eat. It is easy to be motivated about this because you have to eat. You have to understand diet to make serious physical gains. It also helps save money by working on your diet. I think by starting with what you eat everyday and concentrating on that, you will find that not only does a proper diet save money and help you look better, it will make you feel better as well.

I can not fathom anyone who has seriously dealt with depression offering this advice. So if one is questioning the existential value of the human experience the answer is to eat more veggies? How does that help?

If the guy said part of his daily “diet” included heroin, I could see abstaining from it as an option. Otherwise, consuming organic food and becoming a vegan isnt going to aid ANYONE with depression.

Whats next – advise him to take yoga and study astrology?

It is also WAY more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat unhealthy. Compare the dollare menu at Mcee-Dees to organic fruits and vegetables. Nothing wrong with a healthy diet, but it doesnt even BEGIN to broach the subject at hand.

I can not fathom anyone who has seriously dealt with depression offering this advice. So if one is questioning the existential value of the human experience the answer is to eat more veggies? How does that help?

I don’t entirely agree. Will a good diet cure depression? No. Can a bad diet make depression worse? Yes. People who don’t have medical depression can feel like s~~~ if they eat nothing but junk food and do no physical activity.

I see nothing wrong with recommending that he eat well, exercise, get outside and smell the fresh air. Nothing bad will come from it.