Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › How getting involved with a single mom lead me to MGTOW
Tagged: single mothers, White Knight
This topic contains 19 replies, has 16 voices, and was last updated by 
avillax 4 years, 8 months ago.
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I will start out by saying I have been a white knight for most of my life. Only in the last few days (literally) have I jumped down from that horse and shed the suit and gone my own way.
I was raised in a fundamentalist christian family. Home schooled my entire education. I have 5 sisters and a brother. My dad worked a lot but tried to be home as much as possible, but he ended up being abusive to me so I learned to reject and hate my time with him. My mother was a lot more nice to me and nurturing but I have since looked a bit closer into how she was and the truth is she amped up the abuse my dad inflicted on me, she did not make it any less. Being at home all day with 5 sisters and a mother sucked, and when my dad did get home I nearly always received a beating from him and a long chew out session that took most of the evening. I was told never to have sex with a girl unless I married her and she is a christian. I thought since I had a bunch of sisters I would understand women better than most other men. I was wrong. I became a mangina, I had little self worth or self respect and women picked up on that fast. I was usually doing time in the “friendzone” and when I had a girlfriend I was never in control and I could not speak my mind without fearing she would dump me.
I have been single for most of my adult life since I eventually got sick of women and just would rather spend my time alone doing what I want. That has led to some depression and some addictive habits that I am only just breaking. Anyway, I was spending a lot of time on facebook and over the year I got heavily into environmental issues, politics, and stuff like that. I met a woman in one of the environmental groups I was in. She ended up being very much like what I am like at least from our initial conversations. After about 3 months of chatting her up online and feeling like I finally met my perfect match I moved in with her. Now one small detail that needs to be shared is that I am 29 and she is 49. She has a 23 year old autistic daughter that still lives with her and a 8 year old Asperger son also. I thought it would all work itself out magically since I was drunk with romantic love.
So I moved in with her, and enrolled in the local college for the next semester (I was on the GI Bill). The first month was pure bliss and each day was better than the last. We had lots of sex and for the first time in my life I really felt loved and accepted. But that was not to last, her son and ex husband quickly shattered any solace I had about the relationship going anywhere. Here ex is the stereotypical psycho ex, and I do agree he is a bit nuts. He is even older than she is (he is 61, basically grandpa age for his own son!) and I dont have much respect for him at all and he is emotionally abusive to the boy and verbally abusive to her. As far as the kid…yeah…She co sleeps with him, and what alarmed me is that I was actually in the way by being in bed with her. She missed her son. He would go back and sleep in his room for the first month after I moved in, but he started having meltdowns in school and she was stressing out and crying in the morning when she woke up. She was not interested in sex anymore and would not touch me. She began to pretty much ignore me and would give all the attention to her son.
I was shocked by this behavior, but I rationalized it because she has been abused in relationships before, and she was abused as a child, so I gave her a pass. I moved into the living room and have been sleeping on the couch ever since, even as I am writing this. She keeps the fact that she co sleeps with her 8 year old son a secret, wont tell anyone. This is every night, not just some nights. She pulled him out of school about 3 months ago and has been “unschooling” him, which translated to letting him play video games and she waits on him hand and foot. My concerns and needs are ignored and I am always the one apologizing whenever there is a disagreement. I have no other friends, my family has pretty much disowned me because I do not follow their crazy religious beliefs.
She is a feminist, and I know better than to open up to her anymore since coming across MGTOW. I am going to move out as soon as I get the money and find a good job. She never accepts responsibility for getting married to the wrong men. It is always the men’s fault. She never sets boundries for her kids and her older daughter was almost killed by one boyfriend she had. Her son is Asperger, so he only cares about video games and the only time he talks to her is if he wants food or is telling her some facts about video games. He actually would buy video games on xbox live with her credit card, and even after she told him not to do it, he did it anyway. This was hundreds of dollars. She does not believe in punishment and just politely tells him it is not nice to do that.
I have basically been kicked to the curb and she barely talks to me anymore. I used to think I was in love with her but more likely I was just happy to find someone. She got over me quick and thought me silly for staying in love with her. I am moving out as soon as I can, getting involved with a single mother is the worst idea ever!!! But thank god for MGTOW! It seriously brought me out of suicidal depression.
It sounds like a totally messed up situation and you are far better off out of it. As you said, you thought you were in love as you were happy to find someone and were getting regular sex. Don’t feel bad about this, this is exactly why most Betas marry the first woman they end up getting regular sex from.
You are lucky in the fact that you are not married to her, don’t have kids with her and you can walk away a free man.
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
Anonymous27Its very good to hear it brought you out of that terrible state brother…please, do not ever give your emotional soul to a woman again. There will be a time, when you want to, but do not..it is not worth what they do to your mind.
I’m glad and hope that you are feeling better, you are welcome here anytime.
yes I never will get involved with women again, this was the last straw for me and I realized I do not need women! I never will bring a kid into this world and that is something I have always been clear about with women.Thanks for the welcome here and it will be my a place I am at a lot.
It sounds like a totally messed up situation and you are far better off out of it. As you said, you thought you were in love as you were happy to find someone and were getting regular sex. Don’t feel bad about this, this is exactly why most Betas marry the first woman they end up getting regular sex from. You are lucky in the fact that you are not married to her, don’t have kids with her and you can walk away a free man.
yeah I was a beta male and still sort of am, but that is changing. I found a youtube channel called “askluimarco” and it basically destroyed much of my old thinking about myself and about women. I will never get married, have kids or any of that. I just want to go my own way and I no longer care for women or feel I need them in my life to be a complete man.
F~~~ing hell. It doesn’t matter if you’re MGTOW or alpha or beta or whatever label you want, get the f~~~ out of that house NOW. That place is a train wreck waiting to happen. It’s a ship sailing blind in iceberg season. It’s going down and you need to make damn certain you aren’t there when it does. And whatever you do, do NOT give any hints about your exit strategy. She may not be sleeping with you right now, but I can all but guarantee as soon as she gets a hint that you’re on your way out she’ll start planning an “accidental” pregnancy to trap
youyour bank account. Her first hint should be coming home to find you already gone.F~~~ing hell. It doesn’t matter if you’re MGTOW or alpha or beta or whatever label you want, get the f~~~ out of that house NOW. That place is a train wreck waiting to happen. It’s a ship sailing blind in iceberg season. It’s going down and you need to make damn certain you aren’t there when it does. And whatever you do, do NOT give any hints about your exit strategy. She may not be sleeping with you right now, but I can all but guarantee as soon as she gets a hint that you’re on your way out she’ll start planning an “accidental” pregnancy to trap
youyour bank account. Her first hint should be coming home to find you already gone.Yes I am working on that. I am keeping to myself and staying out of her issues. Thanks for the comment I am thankful to hear it from guys, I am picking up the pieces of a wrecked life and rebuilding. At least I am still somewhat young. I will start looking for a new place immediately.
I will start looking for a new place immediately.
Good man. And I’m serious about not letting her know anything until after you’re long gone. Even if she doesn’t have an intentional “accidental” pregnancy there are still other things she can do to you, and she will not be happy about you leaving. Monkeys don’t like it when their branch bails on them.
As distasteful as it sounds you might consider going back to your family in the short term, even if it means “accepting jesus” or whatever, just to get out of where you are soonest. Or check into the weekly rates at a local motel. Anything. Whatever it takes to make your exit abrupt, without warning, and SOONER THAN YESTERDAY.
@Dolla D, thanks for,
Please do not ever give your emotional soul to a woman again. There will be a time, when you want to, but do not..it is not worth what they do to your mind.
Saved that quote for my kid. Well said.
@sidecar: thank you for the heavy lifting here as well. That Lucid Leo’s life is on fire and he needs out now!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you are spot on, ABRUPTLY , IMMEDIATELY.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
If you haven’t already, check out the LISTEN part of this site with Tom Leykis talking about never, ever dating a single mother. I’ll tell you.. I didn’t get as far as you, but I also dated a single mom for a bit and it didn’t take long for that train wreck to start coming. I will never even consider dating a single mom again.
Good luck to you, and welcome to MGTOW!
Anonymous1There is no tip I can give that wasn’t already given here.
So I will just say this: good luck my friend.
Get out of there as soon as you can, don’t let her know, and I hope things work out for you.
Cheers
She is a feminist
She never accepts responsibility for getting married to the wrong men
End. That is all.
You were a young stud for her for a while. I hate to put this way that’s it and I present this evidence:
She co sleeps with him, and what alarmed me is that I was actually in the way by being in bed with her
Welcome to MGTOW my friend and RUN.
RUN AWAY NOW!
Oh good god, this sounds like a horrendous situation, wait untill she is out, pack your s~~~ and go, go anywhere, literally anywhere else but where you are! you still have the chance so go,.
My last mistake, I, ended up living on the couch, miserable as sin and one day just quit my job, packed my clothes in garbage bags, loaded them into the car and left to my parents house 200 miles away.
I had no contingency, no job prospects and no money.
1 year on im going my own way, have two awesome jobs, more money than ever before and a place of my own…..you just need to know that you can do it, there is a future beyond the trap your in, get the f~~~ out and start living again
Leo:
I’m a Christian too, like you. Your father may have been hard and your mother controlling, but go back and make up with them but live on your own. Realize they still love you and want good for you. God doesn’t want broken relationships. Pray and see what God wants you to do for life, for school for work and everything else. Don’t sleep around. The punisment He hands down can be worse than you can imagine. Living as a Christian and being sexually pure is hard, but the consequences of sexual sin can be even harder to bear. And they just might be life-long or for 18 years or more. There can still be great things happen in your life. Get away from this woman. No; jump in an X-wing and get out of there at light speed. She is Satan and has no idea what she is doing. She is simply following what her feelings are. And look where she has wound up. Imagine for a moment how you might wind up if you continue on with her. Like someone else here said, when she’s gone to work, pack and split to wherever you possibly can and don’t contact her again. Live in your car if you need to. Move home very temporarily if need be. Find some sort of men’s shelter or whatever. Or another guy’s house. But never see her in person again if you can help it. Just send her email messages that you and her are history. I pray the best for you. Pax. Survivor.
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, You give love a bad name, I play my part and you play your game, You give love a bad name."--Bon Jovi
Anonymous9Dude…
She’s f~~~ing psycho.
You’ll need some tough love on this one, and you’re going to get it from this forum for sure. It’ll wake you up.
She was too old from the start. She’s twenty years older than you, with two kids that aren’t even mentally wrapped tight. Then you mentioned the 61 year old ex husband…man sever all ties from that bitch.
You’ll always come second to to a chick with kids. That’s why I don’t f~~~ with single mothers.
I’ll have sex with them, but I would never date one let alone move in with a c~~~ with two kids .
I don’t why you are still there. I’d leave now. Don’t you have a friend to go stay with?
Trust me dude. Leave as soon as possible. I made that mistake but at least in my case I was able to set those boundaries and made sure the boy is sleeping in his room. Even if that happens, It’s going to get worse and she is going to turn the heat up if you don’t leave.
The whole psycho ex, kids and her emotional instability is going to become your responsibility to manage. Before that happens, EXIT and don’t leave a trace.
Life consists of two days, one for you one against you. So when it's for you don't be proud or reckless, and when it's against you be patient, for both days are test for you.
Brother wow! Are working?At the very least save up some money and just leave !
That woman is trouble.I want to cuss but since you are a Christian I won’t.Lack of wisdom, understanding and knowledge about female psychology has led you into a trap.
A huge number of women lust for men like your father and your GFs ex.Dark triad personality traits. Yet very few women will be honest and admit to it.
Even rapists/murderers like Richard Ramirez the night stalker and many others like him have had women fighting over them by the 100s.
As for getting out- is your schooling necessary right now?
If you can’t get out anytime soon would you consider reenlisting in the military ? Or going to a homeless shelter?You can look them up.
Brother all it would take is one misunderstanding one argument and one phone call to the police and you could be spending a long time in jail.You being the man especially since you have been in the military you will almost always be held at fault.
You are in a lot of potential jeopardy living there.
I have no idea what recource you have available, weather you have a job or money in the bank or a car.
Time for you to look at your options ,consider what you have available, look closely and carefully for optional opptunities ,at what else that you can do besides what you are doing .Consider going to another state or place like in the Dakotas where people are making good money because of fracking for petroleum and natural gas.
I for example will probably be going looking for work in storm damage areas soon.Just can’t be afraid to get up and Go when the going gets rough .I look and check craigslist for work and shelter all over the country.
Brother I’m old enough to be your father.So I’m speaking to you as if you were my own son .Start looking for a way out in the short term like for no more than two weeks.
When you leave say nothing, not even a hint.If you have a cellphone change your number..Have important things like ID ,drivers license S.S. card put where they are ready for you to go.
Also talk to the VA. Tell them your living situation and that it’s unsustainable.
Please let us know how you are doing.
frankly my dear i don't give a damn
There are a number of threads on MGTOW that outline in point form exactly what you should and should not do when dating Single MILFs to stay out of trouble. It is entirely non-judgmental as far as whether to or whether not to dip your c~~~ into one. They need f~~~ing but follow the guidelines and stay safe.
This is just an example of how a woman needs to be kept in check. In the old days if a woman disobeyed the Husband would give her a beating, we see this as barbaric acts now but the reality is that it worked; a woman is wired into being submissive even through violence, they need that chemical in their brain that is only released by beating them, too bad the law and society is against that now.
The only good relationship I ever had with a woman was with my first girlfriend who was just naturally submissive, I was a very beta guy, pleasing her so that she wouldn’t leave me, very romantic type and she could have left me anytime but when I convinced her to have sex for the first time I made her believe we would marry and after that she became very submissive since Mexican society doesn’t see premarital sex very well, so I guess she felt shame and needed me, also her dad abandoned her when she was 4 so she started to see me as a paternal figure, I didn’t like that but honestly it worked, I began to change, I became very possessive and commanding, I started to become an alpha and the more I commanded her or I got mad the more submissive and obedient she became, one day this behavior was observed by a feminist acquaintance I had and she told everyone that I was a “control freak” but that feminist ended up becoming a lesbian and being forgotten.
All I’m saying is, women need oppression or authority from men, it is the only way they can have a fulfilling happy life in society doing what they’re meant to do: stay at home, clean the house, cook, raise children, and provide sex and support for their husbands. The moment you bring your hand down the moment they start disobeying!
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