I met a college professor, older than me. In her late 30’s. I was taken by her. Long story short, she played a lot of mind games with me. I ended up cursing her out via text which was incredibly stupid. She went to the police. They warned me, and I got scared. But I was so depressed at that time I started texting her again. Not to curse at her, but to tell her I was sorry, and how I did what I did because I felt alone and sad. Well, she went to the police again. They arrested me, and charged me with “stalking”. I went to court, and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. Thankfully, it’s not a crime in my state, just a violation. But my reputation is still damaged (at least in my mind). It’s not a huge deal, I paid a fine. But it hangs over me sometimes.

I began to become very sour towards women after that. I felt like this was a woman who presented herself as so sweet and nice, and then became so vindictive and cruel to a person who she KNEW was suffering. She wanted to hurt me, and she succeeded.

I guess my only question is, how do I get over something like that? Does anyone have any advice, or similar stories of hurt at the hands of women? It was my fault, and I realize that, but at the same time, she did not have to do what she did. She did it to hurt me and she did not have to. At least that’s how I feel. Anway, how can I as a man move on from that? Is it normal of me to still feel resentment and bitterness the way I do? I can say I learned a lot from it, about myself and the nature of women, but I can’t say I am over it. Thanks guys.

I guess my only question is, how do I get over something like that? Does anyone have any advice, or similar stories of hurt at the hands of women? It was my fault, and I realize that, but at the same time, she did not have to do what she did. She did it to hurt me and she did not have to. At least that’s how I feel. Anway, how can I as a man move on from that? Is it normal of me to still feel resentment and bitterness the way I do? I can say I learned a lot from it, about myself and the nature of women, but I can’t say I am over it. Thanks guys.

The first thing to understand is how men and women differ in how they use “force”.

Men use fists, knives, bombs, and guns to neautralize a threat.
Women use backstabbing, manipulation, and ostracizing from a group.

As long you understand it’s a MANIPULATION (and nothing more) it hurst less. She didn’t actually “hurt” you. She has you THINKING she hurt you. Just consider what you said here……

WOTGM wrote:

It was my fault, and I realize that, but at the same time, she did not have to do what she did.

Was it REALLY YOUR fault? Too many guys make the mistake of accepting 100% personal responsibility when a marriage or relations~~~ fails. “i should have done that”… or “I really f~~~ed up”. But women don’t think like that. They get YOU to think like that. Even when women cheat and slut around, their excuse is blaming the man for it; “he was a bad husband / boyfriend and didn’t take care of my needs”. Guys actually believe that s~~~ and beat themselves over it! Men are extremely hard on themselves that way. They wonder what the f~~~ happened – and blame themselves – even when they do everything right and give her what she wants!

When you really examine it, its not HIS FAULT when she dumps him for being “too nice”. That’s HER flaw. She wants to be treated like s~~~, HE CAN KEEP HER!

When it doesn’t work out, or you propose and she says “no”….. she’s doing you a FAVOR, man.

So take some time to reevaulte your “hurt” and ask yourself, did she really HURT you?
Or was she just skilled in the ways of a woman to get you to FEEL like she hurt you.

You may shock yourself what kind of baggage you can start to drop at the door and how much lighter you feel.

As to getting over it, my advice is the same as always: do your best to live well. Your bad memories won’t seem nearly so important if you’ve replaced them with a better present and a future worth looking forward to.

Also in what world does an apology count as “stalking”? Goddamn the legal system is f~~~ed in the head.

I guess what I meant was “it was my fault for being stupid” because I sent those texts, and therefore, she had proof to show the police what a big bad “stalker” I was. Then I texted her AGAIN after the police warned me not to. If you think this sounds incredibly dumb of me, it was. I can only say I was not in my right state of mind at all. I was going through extreme depression, and it literally alters your way of thinking to the point of doing things which later on you say “Oh my God, what was I thinking?”. I am actually a fairly intelligent guy, which makes what I did all the more painful for me.

But as far as WHY I sent those texts to her? I don’t at all feel it was “all my fault”. I feel as if she was messing with my mind and in a way, trying to PROVOKE ME to send those texts. I took the bait. I admit it. You are right about how men and women think. I will bet you $1 million dollars she has not ONCE thought to herself “I really regret hurting this guy going to the police. It was my fault too, even though he sent me angry texts”. Nope. She is thinking she was 100% right in what she did, and that I deserved everything I got. I also believe she did this as a way to seek attention from her male and female friends/boyfriends/whatever. To a woman, trying to ruin a man’s reputation and permanently damaging him is “just another cool story I can tell over drinks” for that particular week. I understand now this is how they think. They are sociopaths.

Thank you for your reply!

That’s rough. At least it didn’t come with an official record, so your reputation is undamaged. It could have been a LOT worse. I suppose in a way you came out ahead, because once burned is twice shy, and now you’re well inoculated against future feminine machinations which could do you real, serious damage. Even as badly done by as you are from her, a lot of men get burned far worse before learning their lesson.

As to getting over it, my advice is the same as always: do your best to live well. Your bad memories won’t seem nearly so important if you’ve replaced them with a better present and a future worth looking forward to.

Also in what world does an apology count as “stalking”? Goddamn the legal system is f~~~ed in the head.

EVERYTHING now is considered “stalking”. What happened was the police told me not to contact her anymore, but I was so depressed and alone, I did anyway to apologize. I guess the police did not like that I did not “listen to them”. And you know how the legal system is. Men are not exactly favored in that area.

Had the situation been reversed, I highly doubt she would have been charged with anything. But she played up the “damsel in distress” card. That’s how our society is I suppose. I don’t absolve myself completely, I was stupid not to protect myself and should have just forgotten about her. But I did not.

I like what you said about some people getting burned far worse. I thought of that too, in a way. If all that happened was that I had to pay a fine, and go to court, maybe I did get off light. But it is never fun being arrested. I am not a “thug” type at all. I was never in any trouble with the law at all previous to this. It still hurts. Thanks for replying. Maybe this nasty woman did me a favor in the long haul, because now any ideas of ever getting married or even TRUSTING any woman are completely gone.

To a woman, trying to ruin a man’s reputation and permanently damaging him…..

… is how she tries to convince herself she “won”. But she didn’t “win” anything. Pulling a man down is the wrong way to “win”.

I’ve been you. I was coerced, tricked and set up to be torn down by certain “Jennifer” who I made out with one night while we were drunk. Too drunk. Except when her pants came off, I was every bit a gentleman , and aware that it was a BAD idea, so I stopped and sent her home in a cab before we went too far.

She wanted to ruin me because i DID NOT f~~~ her.
Try and wrap your head around THAT one.

As another example, in 2007(?) I anonymously sent a woman flowers when her father had a sudden heart attack over Thanksgiving weekend. I looked up the hospital he was in and had them delivered there. Before she said “thank you” or anything of the sort , the bitch actually said “at first I thought that was kind of a stalker-ish move…..”. Can you believe that s~~~? Never before in my life have I heard such a f~~~ing insane response to a gesture like that, and I will never – repeat never – care enough to do something like that again.

I would rather throw $50 into the street and watch a group of kids have fun with it.

In both situations, I did NOTHING wrong, but women made the effort to try and make me FEEL like I did.
That’s what Im talking about.

How do you get over it? There’s nothing to get over.
It’s THEIR problem. THEY are sick. THEY are the problem.

I can relate to your stories of women. You try to be kind and nice to them, and they end up hating on you for it. It has happened many times to me also. At first, I tried acting like a dick, figuring “can’t beat em, join em” but you know what? I hated it. It wasn’t my nature.

Now I found this place. I can be true to myself, and it feels good man. Feels good just knowing others are out there. Sometimes I sit here at home and feel like no one else can relate or that I am alone. Now I know I’m not. And I can enjoy life without these parasites.

i will make a suggestion though, it’s social but might give you some guidance. Go to the Fun Stuff section of this site and look up some of the old movies like John Wayne, Yul Brynner, Charles Bronsan, Gregory Peck et al. Look at the way they are, they are man’s men, would they let a women like your ex treat them like that? Or would they dust themselves off and move on? I’m not saying don’t be yourself but identify with these men, they are old,school and we and don’t see them very often anymore and I have no doubt they would have been the same off screen. You’ll be surprised!

And To be honest, most of these women I’ve met and dated from universities are,the most obnoxious c~~~s you’ll ever meet. There head is so far buried up their own asses they think their s~~~ doesn’t stink, plus they can’t get a job in the real world. By the way, what is she a Professor at?

cheers

Normally though, I am easy going, nice, and yes, I am naive in some ways. Many times I know people (women especially) are not treating me right, yet their explanations often involve trying to make ME look like the bad guy. And sometimes I question myself if it’s true, even when I know in my heart it is blatantly not. I understand now that because of my emotional makeup, I am not suited for the cut-throat world of dating, let alone marriage. I wouldn’t survive 2 minutes lol.

I think it’s ok though. I’ve come to grips with it…finally. I can be happy on my own, and I’m starting to realize that for the first time and embrace it. Even things like sex I can still have, but I don’t “need” a relationship with a woman to have value. All this time I was looking for validation from women who were not fit to shine my shoes on any level. I think I finally get it now. I don’t need them, they need me. They are just better at making me THINK I need them more than they need me. That is literally their only advantage. Once you overcome that, they literally have absolutely nothing else over you. Nothing.

I guess you could say I “understand” how the game is played. I just have no interest in playing it anymore. I know what women want…the John Wayne type etc. but I cannot be that guy, I can only be myself. I don’t enjoy playing pretend. So the only other option is to opt out. Only now I understand that “opting out” isn’t bad, it’s GOOD. I didn’t think like that before, but now I do. That’s the difference. I can still get sex from women because I’m not a bad looking guy. Maybe not as much as “alpha’s” but that’s ok. And companionship can come from friends, and hobbies.

I am extremely emotional, you read me right on that one. My biggest weakness. But I’ve been dealing with that issue as of late as well. I’ve gotten better. It’s tough sometimes. I feel like I only want a partner in life and at times, I don’t understand why that is considered too much to ask. But if this is how women are it’s just not worth it.

I get what you are saying about how to deal with “tests” from women. My thing is though, is why do you even need to test someone to begin with? I can’t stand it. When I meet a nice person, I don’t think “Gee I wonder how much I can take advantage of him/her”. And yet that is EXACTLY the type of thinking most women or anyone in general seem to have when meeting someone that they think “they can over on”. I just never understood it. It’s not something a good person does.

EDIT: She is a professor of Psychology.

EDIT: I love Charles Bronson. I own every Death Wish movie. Death Wish 3 is hilarious haha.