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nick123 2 years, 10 months ago.
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May 7 2020 thank you for your story. I am in awe of your perseverence and patience. In my eyes you are equal to count Monte Christo or Andy from Shawshank Redemption, except you get extra points because you are a real human being, and they are fictional characters. You, sir, have true grit. Many would give up in your situation, myself probably included, and yet you fight on. Three more years may seem like eternity when you’re looking forward, but I’m sure it will seem like a flash once you’ve reached that point and are looking back. Your difficulties and suffering will turn into accolades and trophies and you will enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Your ex in the meantime will enjoy the aftermath of hitting the wall and all the unpleasantries that come with it. You know how women over 50 despair about being invisible and guys over 50 talk about how life begins after 50? Heh, guess which fate awaits you, my friend! The tables will turn and one of you willbe laughing and the other crying. Can you guess which is which?
I wish you luck and once again, than you sharing your experiences with me. I can only hope I will be able to be as strong as you if ever the circumstances call for it.I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.
Welcome. Great story and intro.
Near the end of your into you mention she is still “.attached to you”.
I would be willin to bet it is more accurate that “she is attached to your utility to her”.
Good luck and look forward to hearing more from you."Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher
Anonymous2Thank you for sharing your story.
I want to encourage you not to change your mind about not getting married.
You are not responsible for taking care of anybody, especially any woman.Getting rid of the mortgage definitely looks like the best choice, and in my humble opinion as soon as possible.
Maybe you will regret it but only for a very short while, the long term joy of your freedom is incomparable.You also said that she’s messy, doesn’t cook, you have boring conversations with her, can hardly wait not to be in her company and sex is not that awesome.
So if you think critically there is no good reason to continue being with her.
You continuing to live with her will only lead to complications.Since there has been more than a month since your initial post, I am curious to hear about you and your situation.
Anonymous12Welcome, Knight.
I am leaning very far out of the window here, but suppose this…
No she is not at her parents.
and
No, she does not come back with flowers and chocolates.She is riding mister Next1, Next2, Next3, and drains enough B~~~~ to give birth to a football team.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
Enjoy tonight.
But as you wake up, take measures to ensure she does not backstab you.
because as you said… your story is a dead end. Make sure it is not literally YOUR dead end.You have something she needs: a Home.
You are nothing she needs: no Ring.Treat her with extreme caution, never be with her alone, etc and so forth.
The rabbit hole goes a lot deeper yet. Sit tight, s~~~s about to get real.So if you think critically there is no good reason to continue being with her.
You continuing to live with her will only lead to complications.Since there has been more than a month since your initial post, I am curious to hear about you and your situation.
Thanks for replying.
Since my introduction not much has changed, really. I’ve been asserting myself more and more, refusing stupid demands to do ridiculous favors, being more conscious of who does more in the relationship and so on. I think the main reason I’m not ready to just break it off is the living situation, it would turn life upside down and I have a lot of work to do at the moment and need stability. Apart from that I have some feelings of guilt. After all, we’ve been together for a long time and I feel kind of sorry for her, she’ll be devastated if I break up with her. I’m not sure how crazy she can get, either… I mean I think she is mentally stable, but from what I’ve read, women can go from normal to crazy pretty rapidly…
Welcome, Knight.
I am leaning very far out of the window here, but suppose this…
No she is not at her parents.
and
No, she does not come back with flowers and chocolates.She is riding mister Next1, Next2, Next3, and drains enough B~~~~ to give birth to a football team.
I’m not saying this is not the case, since I cannot know for sure, but I see no indication this is happening. I think I would notice deviations from daily routine and changes in behavior. To be honest if I discovered I’m being cheated on I would probably not mind. It would allow me to leave guilt free and go my merry way.
I’m sure she is aware this cannot last, because the other day she said she wants family “some day” and knows I don’t want one, also remarked she “doesn’t want to give up on us” because she “loves me”, which tells me she is probably getting ready to give up. I think these are signs of her internal struggle bubbling up to the surface.
I think she is preparing mentally to come to terms with the fact that the only way to have a family some day is to break up with me and find some beta provider, and fast, time’s ticking. I see the storm on the horizon, any opinions and perspectives on my situation, or advice how to prepare would be very appreciated, gents.
I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.
Anonymous2Your story caught my eyes because it is very similar to mine, up to the point of marriage.
Ever since a kid I knew I didn’t want to get married, and lived very comfortably alone with a few girls coming and going.
Unfortunately I caved in to the social pressure especially from my family.
I met a girl and she was very skilled at convincing me and putting me in a complete sense of bliss.Shortly after we got married she quit her job so I must work for her too while she stays home.
I made her understand that I wasn’t happy at all and that I thought we were going to be partners.
Things got worse, she started behaving very rude, turning her head away when I talked to her and refused to have sex.
About 2 months into the marriage she made a completely nuts scene on the street.
I told her this is not working for me and that we are going to divorce.
After the scene on the street I became very suspicious of her cheating on me, but I didn’t find out and frankly I don’t even care now.
I was lucky that I lived at her place(also had mine) and we had no mortgage, so the divorce went without problems, and I am a free man again since 21 September 2016.
Needless to say I’m not going to make the marriage or relationship mistake again.The reason I told my short story is that as you already know she will try to manipulate you emotionally into not letting her go, or anything else for that matter.
You can expect this, so be prepared for goofy s~~~ from her.
The only thing you don’t yet know is the degree of nuts she will go.
There will be only a few problems if you are lucky, but the longer the relationship the more entitled she will feel.You also said that you feel sorry for her.
Don’t!
I remember when we signed the divorce papers I felt sorry for her when she wrote ‘unemployed’ on some form.
This feeling sorry sensation went away after some moths but it should have never occurred to me.
She made the decision to quit her job so I’m in no way responsible for her being unemployed.
This works in other aspects too, in other words you are not responsible for your her happiness, and you shouldn’t put yourself in that position.I don’t want to convince you about anything, I just shared my thoughts in the hope it will help somehow.
Anyway the most important decisions you have already made, namely not marrying and asserting yourself.g-mow is onto something with the hunch that she is cheating on you, I completely agree with him.
You said that there is no indication that it is happening, but these indications can be sniffed out more easily in the first 24 hours it happened.
Her being away for an extended period of time can surely diminish the clues significantly.
Women spin plates(guys) all the time and they always have at least one backup for a long term relationship.
You can imagine in the matrix we live in, she is spoiled for choice when it comes to sex partners.g-mow also said about you not being alone with her.
Again, completely agree.
I don’t want to scare you but there are things that can happen if you are not careful.
You can be falsely accused of rape or she can get pregnant and say it’s your kid.
Either way you will have a difficult(more like hell) time to prove otherwise.You have something she needs: a Home.
You are nothing she needs: no Ring.He summarized your situation very precisely, think about it…
I’m not saying any bad thing will happen for sure, but it can and you have to know and be prepared.
Hope my message wasn’t too long or boring.
PS I downloaded your drawing and set it as wallpaper. It’s awesome!
Anonymous2I’m sure she is aware this cannot last, because the other day she said she wants family “some day” and knows I don’t want one, also remarked she “doesn’t want to give up on us” because she “loves me”, which tells me she is probably getting ready to give up. I think these are signs of her internal struggle bubbling up to the surface.
I think she is preparing mentally to come to terms with the fact that the only way to have a family some day is to break up with me and find some beta provider, and fast, time’s ticking. I see the storm on the horizon, any opinions and perspectives on my situation, or advice how to prepare would be very appreciated, gents.
I got carried away in my first reply.
You cannot trust anything she says.
Woman don’t tell the truth by words(like men) but by behavior.Your best bet to predict her behavior or guess what she is thinking is to forget all she says and ‘listen’ to what she does…
What she did is went to her parents for a longer time.
Women don’t relax and clear they’re head like men do, so she is going to do different things than what you do when alone or going to your parents.
In that environment she is surrounded by the guys she had been with.
And worst of all, surrounded with more experienced females, like her mother for example.
The only thing that needs to happen is a bad seed to be planted in her head…Another aspect is that while at her parents, she will constantly meet with ‘besties’ and childhood friends.
When we (unmarried)men talk about women it’s about boobs, pussy, blowjob and in what creative way we had sex.
When women talk about men, they talk about how clumsy(‘cute’ in female vocabulary) and stupid(for paying and providing) they’re partner is, how they f~~~ed them over, and share ideas about how to make men’s life worse.
In other words how to put themselves in advantage to the expense of men(they never consider to what cost from the men’s part; this is just female nature).
For any layman reading what I just wrote seems hilarious or sexist, but you have taken the red pill and you surely know it’s true.To close all my lamentation, I had a good conversation yesterday with an uncle of mine who I look up to and I always considered that he nailed it with the marriage by asserting himself with a strong will and good wits.
He told me at least half a dozen good opportunities in life that he missed out on because of his wife’s emotional manipulation.
This clearly tells me there is no winning scenario for a man in a marriage or in a relationship.One more thing…don’t let yourself go or relax too much while thinking you figured her out.
Surprises come when you least expect them.
It’s exactly what women are, or do all the time…(bad) surprises.
Especially in a relationship.Thank you Ender! I’ll be on guard. As you say, it was clear to me my ass would be discussed thoroughly with her childhood friends and family, there’s no way to know what kind of advice they told her. I go from considering worst case scenarios to berating myself for being paranoid, it feels like I’m in a spy movie.
I don’t want to convince you about anything, I just shared my thoughts in the hope it will help somehow.
Thank you so much for sharing your story,man! I’s been very helpful! Especially the part about you feeling sorry for her, I can totally relate. My position is slightly different, we are both financially independent because both of us work, she gets no money from me, as far as money goes we actually have an equal partnership.
Congratulations on gaining your freedom, by the way! I wish you the best and hope you will use it in a way that makes you happy.
The only thing you don’t yet know is the degree of nuts she will go.
There will be only a few problems if you are lucky, but the longer the relationship the more entitled she will feel.Yes, that’s the part I’m worried about. It’s been 8 years so I fully expect the “I gave you the best years of my life” attitude. Well, that goes both ways, it’s not like I didn’t give anything back. There’s no history of any psycho scenes in public, but who knows what can happen.
You can be falsely accused of rape or she can get pregnant and say it’s your kid.
I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I don’t think she’d stoop so low as too falsely accuse me of rape. In case of pregnancy I would demand a paternity test. An unwanted pregnancy is freaking me out to the point where the idea of having sex is actually putting me off. Most of the time I don’t even feel like it. I wait for her to initiate and then I never leave the condom with her, I always, always get rid of it in a way it would be impossible for her to gain access to the sperm. I made it absolutely clear I don’t want kids, now I’m considering refusing sex and telling her it’s because I’m scared of accidental pregnancy. That way if she cheats there will be no way she can say it’s mine. What do you guys think, should I go celibate or keep doing it?
I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.
Anonymous2Congratulations on gaining your freedom, by the way! I wish you the best and hope you will use it in a way that makes you happy.
Thanks bro, means a lot!
I’m scared of accidental pregnancy. That way if she cheats there will be no way she can say it’s mine. What do you guys think, should I go celibate or keep doing it?
It’s up to you if you decide not to have sex with her.
Although by doing this, it will be a clear sign for her that you want out.What I don’t recommend to do under any circumstance is tell her how you feel(scared), specially about such a delicate subject as accidental pregnancy.
It will make you to quickly loose the assertiveness you built up…Thanks again for replying!
Yeah, “I’m scared” is not the right phrase to use when talking to a woman, any sign of weakness will be used against us, maybe years down the line.I was also thinking about doing something I got from listening to Tom Leykis’ show. If she wants to have sex, just flat out asking her if in case of pregnancy she will have an abortion. It would go something like this:
No
No dick for you.Not sure
ND4UYes, if I get pregnant I will have an abortion, since you’ve been clear about not wanting kids ever
Ok then, we can have sex
Actually I’m suddenly not in the mood anymore
yeah, me neitherI’m also considering just being completely straight with her and just taking the leap and breaking up suddenly rather than pussyfooting. I’m tired of playing those Machiavellian games. I don’t know how long I can keep on living like this.
What are your opinions, Ender and everyone else?
I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.
Anonymous2Hi Knight
I’ve been listening to Tom Leykis.
He’s a genius!The game you described seems fun.
8 years of Machiavellian games is a lot of time, I tip my hat to your performance.
I’m not very good with these games and couldn’t come to terms with the idea that this is what I have to do all the time in a relationship.
That’s why I didn’t manage to hold on to any.I think most of our fellow MGTOWers would agree that getting out of any relationship is the best bet for a mans well-being.
Situations differ and it’s not always that easy, but if you have the opportunity to get out, just do it.Thanks man, Just to be clear, it hasn’t been 8 years of Machiavellian games, I was a pretty normal bluepill guy, then at the end of last year found out about the dangers and the traps was oblivious of, now I’m careful and on guard.
I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.
Anonymous3Welcome Knight Errant.
Motorcycle is dangerous, she would not want her ATM-wage-slave to get hurt.
You can always end the contract/sell back house, get something nice and cozy to live, and get your motorcycle,
Anyway, thank you for your input, great introduction to read and welcome.
People sharing here is like a therapy.Stay safe on the road !
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Anonymous12Hey Knight – another Thought.
I accept that, after 8 years together you will be able to detect if she has been draining any b~~~~ left or right.
Else i would indirectly call you a fool, which you clearly are not.I would like to Piggyback off Ender´s thought of some crazy Stuff being about to go down, the only unknown, what type and what level of crazy.
The time at her Parents´ place, depending on the type of People they are, can also be used to quickly and effectively set up a plan on how to pressure you into something or to prepare the “crazy”.
At the very least she has access to her mother, whom she can manipulate into “help me get rid of him” or “how do i force him”.
Further Resources she has there are Time, old Friends (Beta providers) and Girlfriends (Partners in crime) to set up shenanigans, monkey branch or whatever.Okay, enough of the paranoia already, you get where i am coming from.
Bottom line is this, to get back to your
I’m also considering just being completely straight with her and just taking the leap and breaking up suddenly rather than pussyfooting. I’m tired of playing those Machiavellian games. I don’t know how long I can keep on living like this.
YOLO
And every day you are stuck in a situation that is in a Dead End not the one you aim to live, nor the one she wants to live…
is a wasted day. a dishonest day, dishonest to each other, dishonest to yourself.If i take this situation you describe, and its non-existing future… and then remove all the classic womanhating, woman bashing, gender and sex and feminism and wage gap Crap…
Just two stick figures that want to part ways because their interests are fundamentally different.Then One of them has to take the courage to end this crap both of you are stuck in.
Nike.
Just do it.(after making sure you have 5 of your redpill friends as withnesses, and have taken 999 legally valid precautions to make sure she does not pull a 911 on you…paranoia is strong with me)
Welcome to MGTOW and the Forums Knight Errant. Terrific intro and thank you for making it.
Motorcycle is dangerous, she would not want her ATM-wage-slave to get hurt.
Yes, that’s really what it comes down to.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Welcome
Nothing I can add that my brothers haven’t said.I’m tired of playing those Machiavellian games. I don’t know how long I can keep on living like this.
As you know; the longer you stay together in the same home the higher the risk. Don’t hold out until a cop shows up to your door. It’s your head in the guillotine and her hand on the trigger.
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
There is a co habitation law in Australia and as Australian law is based off English, I’d look into your situation very thoroughly!!! Here i beleive it is 18 months, then you’re f~~~ed the bitch can make claims against your property.
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