Harder to stand up

[AlmostNiceGuyParticipant 210]

yeah, so, need to ask a question to you brothers. All of you have seen your fair share of trials and obstacles, and in a previous post I asked if it gets better. Well, for a while now, things haven’t been easy. Not diving into much detail, but 3 very close relatives, have been fighting cancer for years, all got through, now it metastasized, and they all have been diagnosed terminal, few years each. Then, some stupid f~~~ing problems at the UNI got my parents on my ass (they probably lashed out due to the same feelings caused by the news), checks I delivered to pay my tuition, “have gotten mixed up” and have not yet been found, and I cannot attend classes till they are. Been lost for almost a month. Today I sat down and smoked, wanting to clear my head. Realized, a voice saying “This is as good as it’s ever going to get motherf~~~er”. Finally got out of a valley, to find the mountain range got higher. F~~~, as I’m writing this I’m craving another cigarette. So, back to the question. How do you deal, rather “get out”, of this sort of emotional well one falls into?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

There was a time in my life when it seemed everything and everyone was out to crush me.

Cancer, broken back, wife fking another guy etc.

I chose the easy way out …. and even failed at that ?

Then a strange thing happened. My mind went in ‘limp home mode’ just like some cars have. It literally shut out all non essential functions.

I became numb to anything I had no control over. What was the point in even thinking about those things if they were out of my hands.

What I could control … I steered to my best advantage.

Eventually the uncontrolled s~~~ started sorting itself out and the light started shining again.

Just like a sail boat in a storm. Pull down the sail, close all hatches and ride it out.

I’ve found it’s the only sensible way.

[Sessna12Participant 119]

Man I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Always thankful while you still have your family around. Enjoy the time with them. My uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer last dec, and was dead march. I moved to atlanta for the last 2 months to take care of him. still adjusting to how quickly he went. Spend all the time possible with them while you can. School will work itself out. I dropped out of  college, only to return later to complete my degree, so it is not the end of the world. Nothing else you can do but realize that some things you have absolutely no control over BUT YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT.  Sometimes those valleys are there just to allow you to catch your breath for the next mountain. Hang in there

oh yeah, put that cigarette down, it will only create problems down the road (smoked/dipped 10 years…quit last dec)

If you don’t have your health, nothing really matters, so guard it with your life

Sebastian

"We can no more stop him from marrying than we can stop him from making a well researched decision to poke his eyes out with a stick."
-Sidecar

[Sessna12Participant 119]

ILiveAgain wrote:

There was a time in my life when it seemed everything and everyone was out to crush me. Cancer, broken back, wife fking another guy etc. I chose the easy way out …. and even failed at that Then a strange thing happened. My mind went in ‘limp home mode’ just like some cars have. It literally shut out all non essential functions. I became numb to anything I had no control over. What was the point in even thinking about those things if they were out of my hands. What I could control … I steered to my best advantage. Eventually the uncontrolled s~~~ started sorting itself out and the light started shining again. Just like a sail boat in a storm. Pull down the sail, close all hatches and ride it out. I’ve found it’s the only sensible way.

 

brother that is rough….you are truly a survivor. Glad you were able to weather the storm

Sebastian

"We can no more stop him from marrying than we can stop him from making a well researched decision to poke his eyes out with a stick."
-Sidecar

[Anonymous 13]

A barrowed motto fromm outlaw joset wales:

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

No set strategy I can think off, but just some tools you can try, to throw some pasta to the wall and see if it sticks:

* Realize life has this ups and downs.  Either you get hit all at once with a bunch, or they come in regular intervals.  They will happen.

* Go watch some comedy and get some laughs.

* Take a nap.  With that, do what you need to, to keep your life on track.

* Have something else to get your mind off the problems, even for a little while.

* Try to find some good things to think about, and focus on.

Pretty much, you want to snap the spiral of negativity, which can compound.

 

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

AlmostNiceGuy wrote:

How do you deal, rather “get out”, of this sort of emotional well one falls into?

Well the thing i got better without even realizing it.Give it some time ,sleep a lot ,try to meet with friends as much as you can, and maybe one morning you’ll have a “wait a second” moment and you’ll be better.

Just expect to be like this for a while, it’s not going to go away in one go.

[RoyDalParticipant]

The previous posts, and, as usual, ILiveAgain have offered you wise guidance. Follow.

My take is this. All things pass. All emotions dissolve into other emotions. All material world situations change into other situations. “This too shall pass.”

The only thing you have control over is your internal state of mind. The external world is out of your control; the best you can do is influence some parts of it, but control is out of the question. Work with what you can control. Leave the rest to whatever forces are in charge of it.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[UntamedParticipant]

AlmostNiceGuy wrote:

yeah, so, need to ask a question to you brothers. All of you have seen your fair share of trials and obstacles, and in a previous post I asked if it gets better. Well, for a while now, things haven’t been easy. Not diving into much detail, but 3 very close relatives, have been fighting cancer for years, all got through, now it metastasized, and they all have been diagnosed terminal, few years each. Then, some stupid f~~~ing problems at the UNI got my parents on my ass (they probably lashed out due to the same feelings caused by the news), checks I delivered to pay my tuition, “have gotten mixed up” and have not yet been found, and I cannot attend classes till they are. Been lost for almost a month. Today I sat down and smoked, wanting to clear my head. Realized, a voice saying “This is as good as it’s ever going to get motherf~~~er”. Finally got out of a valley, to find the mountain range got higher. F~~~, as I’m writing this I’m craving another cigarette. So, back to the question. How do you deal, rather “get out”, of this sort of emotional well one falls into?

When I realised how much I’d been f~~~ed and that 80% of the s~~~ that fell on my head wasn’t because I was wrong but because I’d been playing a tricked pocker game with liars and c~~~s, my emotional state got worst, at first. I could not believe how much of a sucker and an idiot I’d been taken for. Then I informed myself and as I dug deeper and deeper into the plot, finding just how devilish our adversaries are, my emotional state go so well that I’m now healthier than I was 15years ago.

If you want to feel good emotionally, stop taking crap from people and be ready, at all times, for a fight. When you respect yourself others will too.

“Broadcast me a joyful noise into the times, Lord. Count your blessings, we’re sick of being jerked around, we all fall down” – R.E.M

 

 

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

life’s problems are generally all an illusion.  as long as you put food in your mouth, you will survive.  You don’t really own anything so don’t worry about it getting taken away.  it all goes away eventually.  as for the checks, can’t you cancel them and reissue?

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

AlmostNiceGuy wrote:

How do you deal, rather “get out”, of this sort of emotional well one falls into?

You have heard good advice from many in this thread already and take what you like. I would offer the following for consideration, look for the root of the problem in your emotion. There are many things that are happening in your life that will push you one way or another emotionally, financially etc. but at the root of any depression is a cause. For me the cause was that the world I wanted to live in did not actually exist and it was only after seeing this for the truth it was and really looking at the world and acknowledging it for what it is that I was able to build a model of the world that followed what I observed and not what I wanted it to be.

In my case this could be because even before I knew the whole truth I went through the rage when I got divorced and all the s~~~ that happened there. You can read about it on these forums somewhere (I will have to look up links) if you would like to know more about my situation. Regardless at the end of the day you have to find that thing that solidifies everything the rock you can hang on to. Look for the things you can control and keep them in mind. Everything else will pass.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[ScandinavianParticipant 590]

I never had relatives with terminal illness, in my family we die rather fast so far, so I don’t know how I would handle that I’m afraid. But in general when life is so fubar I don’t know what to do I usually get drunk, really beyond all reason wasted. But just for one day, then I go hammock camping. It’s hard to give advice to anyone else as we all cope differently, but there is something, an extreme form of tranquility, in going  deep into the woods, hanging between a couple of trees for 3-4 days and just eat, listen to nature, reading books, not having to deal with people, society and all that crap. After a day or two everything that is so real when you are at home in your apartment with all the electronic gadgets and anyone can contact you, all that fade away to the point where you almost doubt it exist for just a while.

 

It won’t solve your problems, but it may just let you take a well deserved vacation from them.

[Author]

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