Anyway, I don’t know what to do, whether to go see her or not, I don’t want to get hurt, but I’ve been thinking about her a lot for a long time, she’s really beautiful. I don’t trust her in a way though, I don’t always understand her, because of the cultural difference and because I’m socially akward.

so yeah. Any advice?

Dating leads to marriage. <– There’s your logic.

Imagine a parachute (we’ll call the parachute “marriage”) that only opens half of the time. And the half of the time it fails was because a woman packed it wrong on purpose.

Will you leap?

You’re depressed and wide open for manipulation. You see stars, she sees future dollars.

My advice? Are you wanting to learn the easy way, or the painful way?

I will just skim the important stuff:

1) You will be in a foreign country with everything that implies about your ability to socialize with others. This means that you will be tied to her when going out until you can pass as one of the locals.

2) As a foreigner you will have trouble finding a job and a home.

3) As a foreigner don’t expect the police to even hear your side if she turns to be a complete nutcase.

Now with that out of the way.

Sorry but what she says is not going to happen, it’s not even a s~~~ test but a ‘polite way’ for her to snub you off by giving you an impossible criterion to be with her and she expects to label you as ‘weak’ since you weren’t able to fulfill that very criterion for her.

Even if she is sincere of being with you her ‘find a job’ clause screams that she wants you as a beta provider from day 1. She knows of your insecurities and she will use them, don’t let that happen.

I have been in a similar situation with you, had found the one who I thought was perfect for me and I was fully prepared to do anything for her back then. It was a ‘sick love’ from my part, there was no depth to it which translated to ridiculous situations and humiliations. If you care for yourself do not allow that sentiment to control you, down that road is self destruction and I narrowly avoided it.

Read it, learn it, live it. You have no idea the amount of pain you will avoid, and you don’t want to.

I don’t trust her in a way though

Nor should you trust her. She’s in a foreign country. She’s attractive, and she’s probably hopping on the c~~~ carousel the second your Skype session ends.

You’re entertaining a fantasy.