Giving up videogames?

[R4v3NParticipant 14]

Good afternoon Gentelmen

I’m relatively new to the Red Pill philosophy. I’ve not yet fully as some of you embraced full on MGTOW-lifestyle. I would like to start off with a bit of an introduction first before I get to the point.

I got out of a relationship recently. About 3 weeks ago. . .I was with this girl for a year and about a month (Yes, only a year) but it was a massive eye-opener of a year for me. I applied Red Pill philosophy for the first 9 or 10 months of the relationship, and everything went great.

After that, I got comfortable, and kind of started letting things slide and giving her gaps here and there. The one thing I NEVER did though, was give up my personal time to play Video Games when she wasn’t around. She would expect me to NOT play video games and instead, focus all my attention on her via texting etc. . .This is something I would not do.

About 2 weeks ago, she went to visit her parents in a little town not too far from where we stay, about 3 hours drive away. There she would start telling me about guys trying things with her, and really long story short: She found someone else there in the course of 2 weeks. Our entire one year relationship gone/out the window like it meant NOTHING.

Now plenty of other things have happened in-between, but my question comes down to this: Now that we’ve seperated, I feel responsible in the sense of I wasn’t putting her first? I can’t shake this feeling that if I had made more time for HER instead of playing video games she would not have gone searching for greener pastures. I’m resenting myself for what happened since this was the best relationship I’ve had in my entire life, but it ended just like all the others: She left me for someone else despite all the promises made that she would NEVER do that.

What she fails to see is all the time I made for her, when I WASN’T playing video games even though I wanted to.

Now that we’ve seperated, I’ve given up playing video games because it feels like this is always a factor in girls leaving me for someone else/trading up. “Securing another male that doesn’t waste his time like a boy”

I’m not asking if you think i’m right for leaving video games behind. I’m trying to gain clarity on the matter in the sense of making time to enjoy yourself with what YOU like (even though they don’t) as opposed to giving up more and more time to please THEM.

What are your thoughts on the matter? Are video-games destructive to relationships? I reckon at one point or another she would have left me regardless of if I played video games or not. . .but this feeling of self-resentment inside me that says “You should have left the video games and focused more on her” is f~~~ing me up. Kind of a “What if. . .” situation I find myself in. I hope i’m making sense. Any feedback/input would be appreciated.

What have YOUR experiences been personally when it comes down to the combination of balancing your relationship with what you enjoy doing in your spare time? (In this case video games)

I don't know about Angels, but it's fear that gives men wings.

[FrankOneParticipant 1417]

I used to play videogames in the 90’s. I see nothing wrong with it unless you do it to the exclusion of everything else and don’t get enough exercise. Responsibility? When I was into gaming, I had a paid off house and car, full time job, and saved most of my income. If some woman called me irresponsible back then, I would have asked why she’s living in an apartment and has a car loan, as most of the women I dated in my 20’s did. Why is it the MAN who is always expected to be responsible?

I hate texting, other than short messages to convey something, e.g. ‘Meet me at 10:00am’.

Video games will have no impact on a woman trading up.

With a couple, ‘me’ usually becomes ‘we’; you must visit her relatives, do what SHE wants. Most women will be p~~~ed off if you frequently want to do things on your own.

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

Firstly welcome and thanks for your story, that would actually make a good introduction.

R4v3N wrote:

After that, I got comfortable, and kind of started letting things slide and giving her gaps here and there. The one thing I NEVER did though, was give up my personal time to play Video Games when she wasn’t around. She would expect me to NOT play video games

It is your free time, you should be able to choose how to spend it. Think about it in reverse: would you feel good about yourself if you controlled her free time, forbidding one of her hobbies? Only a mean and petty person does that.

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a woman who isn’t trying to exert control over almost everything her spouse does.

R4v3N wrote:

and instead, focus all my attention on her via texting etc.

One word: narcissism.

R4v3N wrote:

Now that we’ve seperated, I feel responsible in the sense of I wasn’t putting her first? I can’t shake this feeling that if I had made more time for HER instead of playing video games she would not have gone searching for greener pastures.

Don’t you think it’s healthier to just be yourself in a relationship? She didn’t like you as you are. Better ask yourself how many things you can change in your lifestyle to please her until you are no longer happy. She might not be happy either although she thinks she would be:

R4v3N wrote:

Now that we’ve seperated, I’ve given up playing video games because it feels like this is always a factor in girls leaving me for someone else/trading up. “Securing another male that doesn’t waste his time like a boy”

Changing your habits so that someone else likes you is a stupid thing to do. It also inspires lack of self confidence and self esteem, so it will make people like you even less. If you want to change something, do it for your own interest and well being.

R4v3N wrote:

What are your thoughts on the matter?

I think you were lucky she left you now, and not 5 years later when you were married, with a mortgage and 2 kids.

R4v3N wrote:

I hope i’m making sense. Any feedback/input would be appreciated.

You are clearly not Going Your Own Way (yet). But it is a good time to decide what you want to do with your life. If you really want to go for marriage, make sure it is a well informed decision and it is clear to you why you would do that (IMHO sex and companionship are the wrong reasons to get married; the only strong reason is to have kids). You should get a better understanding of woman psychology and behavior. There is plenty of info on this forum about it.

I suggest starting with reading other topics from the introductions forum. Those are stories of other men who reached this site. Then maybe take a look at the relations~~~ forum.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[Jim01Participant 6678]

everyone else who has posted on this thread have hit the nail on the head with this but I’ll join in anyway

why should you give up something you enjoy so that you can give her more attention? So what expectations is she putting on you….you must text her ALL the time if you aren’t with her and not live your life?

she would then turn round and say you are stifling her so she goes elsewhere anyway. Sounds like a typical woman to me

if you feel you have to change yourself to be in a relations~~~ then you are onto a loser as, no offence, but you sound desperate…that means either women will smell it on you and avoid you or worse see it and take advantage of you

she gave you a red pill and you need to take it and learn from it

[TuneoutParticipant]

Welcome and yes she’s just being a selfish c~~~,
‘Oh the world has to revolve around me’
The next sucker will spend too much time on his Harley,
or working on some project besides her.
Never give up something you enjoy for someone else,
otherwise you’ve surrendered power,once they have an inch,they’ll take a mile!

Besides,did she ever make any sacrifice for you?

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[Anonymous 2]

R4v3N wrote:

…when she wasn’t around. She would expect me to NOT play video games and instead, focus all my attention on her via texting etc…

The moment you do, you basicly show the woman what kind of easy-to-manipulate beta bitch boy you are. That she can even utilize you to provide validation and attention when she’s not even present. It’s remote control.

[hmskl’dParticipant 6406]

Follow a life path, it’s a very personal thing .. whether a person actively dates, has frequent relationships and enjoys clubs and lots of socializing .. or conversely, decides to ghost or even go monk-mode which is more of my current life-style .. every journey is unique and correct for the guy that designed it. It’s all good.

All I want to say .. is simply the fact that .. presently, for the first time in my life I am getting into video games .. and I’m having a blast! 🙂

[Jim01Participant 6678]

hmskl’d wrote:

All I want to say .. is simply the fact that .. presently, for the first time in my life I am getting into video games .. and I’m having a blast!

nothing beats getting lost in a game for hours on end. This advert has always stuck with me because it is so true

[JuehueParticipant 1316]

She is trying to condition you into thinking that you need her, by trying to separate you from people and doing whatever you like. As a gamer, I’m pretty sure you have at least a few online friends.

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

Am i the only one here who doesn’t call/text chicks? i mean i got a few of their numbers but i really don’t give a s~~~ unless i want something but aside from that maybe ill call them once every 2 to 3 months.

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[RyshParticipant 134]

I don’t even have my cell phone with me, usually. Which of course implies that possible answers will be delayed.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

R4v3N wrote:

if I had made more time for HER instead of playing video games she would not have gone searching for greener pastures.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! No.

That’s like saying how blue the sky is depends on your playstation. How green those other pastures might be has nothing to do with how much video game playing you were doing.

She thinks she found a better deal for herself. She would have found it no matter what you’ve done.

“Securing another male that doesn’t waste his time like a boy”

And you believed that line of crap?

Bitch please. Women say s~~~ like that to avoid taking any responsibility for their own choices, because otherwise she’d have to admit she’s a faithless, inconstant whore. She thinks she found a more lucrative deal somewhere else. So she monkey branched on you. End of story.

And now she’s trying to find a way to claim that that’s your fault.

It’s not.

Are video-games destructive to relationships?

Of course not. Video games are just a hobby like any other. It could have been sports or car restoring or anything; whatever it is she’d still use it as an excuse for her selfish choices. You don’t see her giving up shopping or whatever she likes to do, do you?

If a man doesn’t work enough for her, she’ll leave him because “he’s lazy and doesn’t make enough money”. If he makes a lot of money, the same woman will leave him because he “works too much and doesn’t have any time for her”.

It’s all just excuses for her own s~~~ty behavior.

tl;dr: Video games aren’t destructive to relationships. Women are.

P.S. Expect to hear from her again in a few years after she’s hit The Wall.

[R4v3NParticipant 14]

Hey guys

I would like to start off by thanking each and every one of you for your input, I have read it over and over a few times and i’m really taking in what many of you had said.

The feedback on this post has been a lot more direct (which is good) and in line with what I myself was thinking than I had expected it to be. I do agree there are some points I may have over-looked, and she would have indeed found any other excuse to move along to the next guy whether I was playing video games or not. I do wish to convey that I was not gaming excessively, every day/all day.

I made plenty of time for her, and I don’t believe that’s wrong of course there needs to be a balance in everything. Moderation in regard to any activity is important in my opinion.

I really appreciate the shared views and insights from you guys, it has helped alleviate my sense of self-loathing for how things have turned out. I guess it just comes down to myself feeling betrayed, even though I gave her everything I had which isn’t much.

Do understand, I have learned from this experience. Every single female I have ever been with has lead me down the same path, and in retrospect I should have seen the signs. I was foolish to believe all the promises she made about never leaving me, especially for someone else. As a 22 year old I’m grateful I have had my eyes opened to the red pill so soon in life. I can say with certainty this is the last time I will have allowed myself to be manipulated and controlled out of fear of being alone and seeking validation from a female. I had my self worth tied to her in many aspects.

These last 3 weeks have been a revelation, and I will definitely not be running into any relationship blindly again. I have been doing a LOT of self-reflection, looking at what I’ve allowed in the past and what I’m going to allow in the future. Thanks again for everyone’s input. You guys are awesome.

I don't know about Angels, but it's fear that gives men wings.

[SimpleLifeParticipant 439]

Great thread. One thing I’ve learned is that women are perpetually discontent creatures. Be glad you’re getting the red pill at a young enough age, before a woman has had a chance to make a huge mess of your life.

[CatsPawParticipant 423]

If a woman has a problem with you playing video games, remember that “she has the problem” not you.
I have a friend at work who is married to a guy who plays daily GTA V and she does not see anything stage in it.
I burned many potential partners because I am a gamer and I have regretted it more than once. But I would regret living a life I hate more.

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

She would have found another excuse to leave you bro. It’s been done to me time and time again. I had the same thoughts you did, maybe if I did A, or maybe if I did B, she’d still be here. But those thoughts I had were false because I was hurt after being traded in for someone else.

Girls do what they want, and the only way to protect yourself is to not get too emotionally involved.

You’ll feel better in time.

[ExpendableYouthParticipant 381]

Hey bro, I read the first sentence, and didn’t have to go any further.

Listen– It was just an excuse she used against you. It just happened to be “video games”. If not that, it would have “been something else”.

I play video games, in fact I have 5,600 hours in DOTA 2 alone. It’s my free time, what the hell do you care woman? Just another reason to nag at you. I could understand if you were playing 24/7 bro, but a couple of hours a day is not a big deal when there are 24 in a day. If you were completely ignoring her all the time when she was around, playing games– then yeah that is kind of disrespectful– to women or man. But in your free time? Hahaha, get the f~~~ out of here.

As stated, just another “reason” and “excuse”. Cut it loose, brother.

[ExpendableYouthParticipant 381]

sidecar wrote:

tl;dr: Video games aren’t destructive to relationships. Women are.

P.S. Expect to hear from her again in a few years after she’s hit The Wall.

There you have it folks. Nice summary sidecar. LOL, god damn right. THE WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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