Get a load of this Craigslist dating ad by a Single Divorced Female

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

Is it any wonder why she is divorced? Is it any wonder why she has to resort to Craigslist to find a man?

===
I know what I want. Are you it?

body : average eye color : Brown hair : Auburn height : 5’5″ (165cm) status : divorced drinks : never drugs : never smokes : daily

age: 33

Me:33, attractive, nice body, endearingly goody, single, one tat

You:five years from my age, nice body, nice package, funny, 30 minutes from me, unattached, good communicater, maybe a tat or a few. (Please don’t respond if you don’t meet these things I’m looking for)

Looking for a friend to spend some time with and see what happens. I am NOT looking for a boyfriend or a f~~~ buddy. Something in between would be ideal.
Send a pic and I’ll respond in kind. Not looking for endless email trails. Would like to have a nice time w a nice guy sooner rather than later. ===

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

That description is so boring and generic, I have no idea what she would be like, or why to contact her, unless I was THAT lonely, I want a woman next to me.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[Anonymous 11]

DoinMyOwnThing40 wrote:

Would like to have a nice time w a nice guy sooner rather than later.

They all say that. I don’t believe her. It’s more like a nice guy placeholder until she finds just the right violent felon to try to fix.

[slardy mcbardfastParticipant 118]

“Looking for a friend to spend some time with and see what happens. I am NOT looking for a boyfriend or a f~~~ buddy. Something in between would be ideal”

Ha!!! she wants a trophy tampon

[Anonymous 12]

Looking for a friend to spend some time with and see what happens. I am NOT looking for a boyfriend or a f~~~ buddy. Something in between would be ideal.

You:five years from my age, nice body, nice package, funny, 30 minutes from me, unattached, good communicater, maybe a tat or a few. (Please don’t respond if you don’t meet these things I’m looking for)

Why does the package matter if she isn’t looking for a f~~~ buddy or boyfriend?

[HitmanParticipant]

typically pathetic. all over the place with mixed messeges YOU are supposed to understand..she needs a talking dildo !

[LowKeyParticipant 702]

Anonymous wrote:

Why does the package matter if she isn’t looking for a f~~~ buddy or boyfriend?

Don't let defeat, defeat you; Let defeat be your greatest teacher.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

I think this ad needs a manslation:

I know what I want. Are you it? → Sorry honey, but knowing you want something is not the same as knowing what you want.

body: average fat
eye color: Brown
hair: Auburn brown
height : 5’5″ (165cm) short enough that the fat really shows
status : divorced proven moneygrubbing relationship failure
drinks : never
drugs : never daily – see below
smokes : daily (nicotine is a drug – deal with it)

age: 33 firmly embedded face first in The Wall but doesn’t know it yet.

Me:33 (photos are from when she was 23), attractive (by her own standards), nice (by her own standards) body, endearingly goody annoying after 10 minutes, single (for very good reasons), one tat (done for attention, not art) → She forgot to mention the kids.
You:five years from my age (negotiable depending on income), nice body income, nice package income, funny (by her own undeveloped sense of humor), 30 minutes from me (not that she intends to do the driving), unattached no other women with claims to your income, good communicater (preferably able to actually spell communicator), maybe a tat or a few (Maybe? And yet her own isn’t a deal breaker? Bitch please.). (Please don’t respond if you don’t meet these things I’m looking for) (For everyone else she’ll keep your resume “on file”)

Looking for a friend to spend some time money (yours) with and see what happens she can get. I am NOT looking for a boyfriend or a f~~~ buddy (because she wants a high price for her pussy). Something in between would be ideal (because the wallet is all that really matters).
Send a pic and I’ll respond in kind. Not looking for endless email trails (then why did she just start one?). Would like to have a nice time w a nice guy (sorry they’re done with you – I’m betting her ex husband was a nice guy) sooner rather than later. (selfish AND impatient)
***

Women all claim to want to be loved for their minds and not their bodies, and then they go and post ads like this all about their bodies with no indication they have a mind at all. This woman has no interests, no hobbies, no preferences beyond the demand that any respondents have a “nice body” and a “nice package”.

What an utterly shallow whore.

Gentlemen, this is why you don’t go looking for women online.

[hmskl’dParticipant 6406]

Looking for a friend to spend some time with and see what happens.

sorry … don’t have the time.

[ChilledToZeroParticipant 178]

I hope this woman is not allergic to cats…

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

I enjoyed your whole post, but this just screams to me.

sidecar wrote:

What an utterly shallow whore.

Gentlemen, this is why you don’t go looking for women online.

She just got wrecked.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

That’s exactly right guys. What compelling reason could possibly exist for me, you, or ANY guy to want to write to her??? LOL

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

Its funny how you could make a profile for pretty much a worst case scenario guy…short, balding, fat, crappy job if any, paying child support to ex baby mama, moved back home with parents he’s so broke, drinks, smokes, drugs, no car, etc…and you wouldn’t get the time of day from women, yet when a woman is the female version of that they still think they can land a decent guy.

[aeragoanParticipant 1186]

Well this women really searching for gay football coach for dating…:-)

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Sidecar just split an arrow with another arrow.

Fuck this planet.

[ShinyParticipant 2307]

What’s ‘between’ a boyfriend and a f~~~buddy?

I suspect it’s, “you get to give me attention and presents like a boyfriend, but you AIN’T getting f~~~ed, buddy!”

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Cap285 wrote:

Sidecar just split an arrow with another arrow.

Praise from Caesar is praise indeed,

I’ll occasionally reality check something copied from one of these dating sites, but you actually venture forth into the wilds of online dating and bring back your own examples.

Shiny wrote:

What’s ‘between’ a boyfriend and a f~~~buddy?

The wallet. Seriously.

Boyfriends are “from the heart” (definitely not the head) and f~~~buddies are more… crotch oriented. And what’s between the heart and the groin? The wallet.

[Author]

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