Gaining new "friends"??

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

So, with my ex-wife, I lost the two male friends I had. Their wives took them away from me… LOL. Guess, me being single now was not good for them. Everyone seemed to be still in shock when they learned I was the one who filed for divorce, not her.. Seemed my wonderful ex-wife was spinning so fast that I turned into Dr. Evil.

Nonetheless, I am now mostly alone aside from work. Since I work for myself, I only converse with clients and potential clients. I tried Meetup, seemed to reek of desperation.. I am spending too much time alone here, and I think I may go crazy soon. I’ve been fighting off depression for a while due to boredom and loneliness. Started back up with the workouts, but again, alone. Attempting to cook/learn how to cook, but it’s a disaster so far. Will improve. Hike alone. I must had read 100 books thus far in the last year. I actually miss friends. I thought I had a good amount of them in high school and college They’ve all moved on. I did try to contact a few of them years ago, none really cared to meet.

Seems I’m in a bit of a pickle.

[WolverineParticipant 90]

I think a lot of us are in a similar situation. I work for a big company, so have made some friends there Luckily.

I had a buddy in for a guys weekend and had a blast, but I know his wife was home stewing. Luckily, she lets him off the leash once a year. Otherwise, married guys always need to ask permission these days.

My boss moved here from another country and signed up for a sports league. Maybe there is some sort of league you can sign up for like golf. It is easier in big cites.

Otherwise, remember that there are married guys that would kill for some peace and quiet!

[bladeParticipant]

You are lonely because thats what society portray as a horible depressing thing . So many people think they need people to be happy . They need people to want them love them etc . Codependency by societal norms . Unlearn it . Love yourself . Maybe get a dog or a cat bro . They will love you and won’t f~~~ you over .

I like been alone . Especially bush walking . I walk as silent as i can . I hear all nature and can get very close . People miss so much of life . Life of nature all natural and normal .

Things will get easier bro as time goes by .

Every day the sun comes up is a new day .

In a break up it is a normal thing in society for so called mates/manginas to seperate . You are perceived as a threat to there vaginas . F~~~ em .

You will look back in a year and say “what the f~~~ was i thinking ” . This is f~~~in great . I can do what the f~~~ i please .

Just don’t sit idle . Sounds like beggining of depression . So make sure you keep moving . Dog or cat bro .

Anytime time ya feal like s~~~ remember someone is always on here .

We are here for ya bro

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[StealthParticipant 5330]

I’m in a similar situation (check my post “Spinning my wheels”). I agree most of it is attitude adjustment. However I still suspect lack of social contact and human touch eventually makes a person weird. Trying to figure out what to do about it. It’s like I need a break from myself sometimes.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

It’s a bit funny if you think about it… When you’re single, you yearn for a partner… When you’re attached, you yearn to just be alone. I recall all the places my ex-wife dragged me to on the weekend until I said no. She’d make some lame excuse and portray me as some sort of lemming. Yet, when s~~~ hit the fan at her work.. Guess who she turned to for advice.

I was thinking about getting a dog.. Don’t want one that barks too much. I happen to enjoy the silence. Though, a few times a week, I do get lonely and wish I had people to spend it with. I am not depressed, just depressed about some of my life’s decisions (marriage, buying a house, etc.). I tried to watch some HBO (Verizon gave me a 90 day freebie), and it all has sex and couples. I tried to even watch HBO divorce, it was more cheating and crap. One can only read so many books. My eyes have waived the white flag.. lol.

I appreciate the forum and the threads. It means a lot to me that I have a place to turn too. Thank you all for your advice thus far. I will say, the last one who left, then wanted a break, and re-evaluate really hit me between the eyes; it hurt a lot. Nearly as much as my ex-wife. I read between the lines… She was keeping me as a backup. I am no option.. I told her I am not a backup, have a nice life. The way she did it… It was so cold… This is the same woman who invited me to Easter, took me out for my birthday to a really $$$ place, was planning a trip with me, etc. I will admit, it still stings a bit. I will not allow myself to be in the position again. I was fine til I put my toe in the dating cesspool. My fault.. I stupidly thought this woman was the genuine article (granted, I thought my wife was too). Can’t trust them.. They are all horrid creatures. Outside of intimate relations, I can deal with them just fine.

I guess I fear that since I basically have no family, I will always be alone. I was surprised that those “men” just shut me out. I knew them longer than my wife.. I just I thought I have more of a social life at this part of my life. Never thought I’d always be alone with my thoughts… It seems I can be my own worse enemy at times. Sometimes, I worry that I may turn crazy by my isolation. I am not far from the city, but I am in a rural area. I’ve been mulling over leaving the area, but I happen to like my home, just hate the area. Plus, everything is so expensive now.

Not complaining, just blowing off some steam.. Part of me feels embarrassed that I allowed myself to put me in this position. I take full responsibility in all the decisions that I’ve made in my life; especially the s~~~ty one’s. I have no one to blame but myself. I just hope I didn’t seal my fate.

[bladeParticipant]

You guys will adapt . It is like if you went and lived in the bush . It is very hard for like the first three months . Once you have adapted you realise how lucky you are . Laying under the stars at night i would think how people living in cities would be running on a clock . Wake up work get home dinner tv bed worrying about money and all that s~~~ . You will adapt . So many positives on been alone .

If ya want friends join sometimes. Bowling , or threw hobbies , sports what ever ya into there are things out there to suit. Just go have a coffee at a regular time and place . You are starting a new life . You will adapt

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

ForeverDone wrote:

Don’t want one that barks too much

You can get a citronella collar . It sprays when the dog barks .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Certainly going to try.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Watching the youtube video on it. Looks interesting.

[GrumpyParticipant]

blade wrote:

Once you have adapted you realize how lucky you are . Laying under the stars at night i would think how people living in cities would be running on a clock

That’s why I get out of the city as often as I can, for as long as I can. Far away from the maddening crowds, the noise, and light saturation.
Next week I can only be away for 2 weeks max, that should hold me until September.
Come September I will be away from this cesspool of humanity until December.
Being in the wild allows me to shed the toxicity of city life, be at peace with myself, and recharge/reset myself to tolerate people for another 2-3 months.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[WallyParticipant]

I am lucky in that I have a great deal of friends, but they have something in common with me through my hobbies, you might try that, take whatever you are interested in and find groups in your city that are hobby focused. You will probably be surprised how many divorced guys are taking similar hobbies. My best friend runs a scuba shop and he will see guys coming in wanting to get back into scuba he hasn’t seen in years and he asks them one question “you got divorced?” And the answer is always “yes”

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[StealthParticipant 5330]

Watched the video
“Learning to fall is probably the most important thing.”
“It’s like anything else…over a period of time I learned how to survive in this environment.”

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Reveling RevelatorParticipant 15]

Other than never having been married (thank goodness), I’m in the same boat. Most all of my friends have moved on to long term relationships, from which there seem to be not even a temporary escape for us to meet. I’m always the one inviting them, and even then I usually only see them once a year. Only a few of my bachelor college friends know that I’m MGTOW, but they live halfway across the country. I’m left with only one friend in town, a bachelor (thank goodness). He just randomly started talking to me at the library. Other than philosophy, shounen anime and superhero films, we don’t have a whole lot in common, so we only see each other once a month, even though the distance between our homes is a mere 5-10 minute walk.
It’s hard to find good people, much less ones that share our perspective, in real life. At least here, online, we have our own brotherhood.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Funny how the word has changed over the years. Technology was supposed to bring people closer together, yet it’s actually pushed human interaction farther away. How sad.

[BoskParticipant 111]

I only have one true friend and I meet him every two weeks.
He’s single now (our wives cheated at the same time, being co-conspirators in their affairs).

I do love being alone.
I am never bored and I always have something to do.

It is GREAT to do everything you want, when you want.
SILENCE IS GREAT.

I live in the border of a small forest.
Only two neighbors/houses that I can see, and the closest is the one I chosed as I rent him another house.

[Anonymous 1]

As regards to cooking get a decent book or watch how to#s on you tube. keep things simple to start with.
Cooking can’t be that hard….. women can do it.

Also other married men do not trust their wives and may see you as a potential threat.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

ForeverDone wrote:

Seems I’m in a bit of a pickle.

We are what we think we are. Your post sounds like you may have a bit of desperation too. Not being mean. Just saying it could show through and repel people even when we don’t mean to. I would try hard to convince yourself you are not lonely, you love your solitude and really like who you are. Even if this isn’t 100% for now, it will create an aura that will attract other people to you. I like the meetups and have made many friends though it. Also, I recommend the hobby of beer making. If you like beer. It has lots of guys who want to share recipes and techniques. I give them ‘teaching moments’. Then we find a happy hour. It’s also a form of cooking. There are brew clubs all over the internet. Good luck in your journy. It’s always a bit rough starting out.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Bosk wrote:

I only have one true friend and I meet him every two weeks.
He’s single now (our wives cheated at the same time, being co-conspirators in their affairs).

I do love being alone.
I am never bored and I always have something to do.

It is GREAT to do everything you want, when you want.
SILENCE IS GREAT.

I live in the border of a small forest.
Only two neighbors/houses that I can see, and the closest is the one I chosed as I rent him another house.

My house was much more peaceful when I first moved here. There are now many families with kids running and screaming all over the place. Nothing against kids, but with Summer here, they all very active and loud. Wish I had more quiet time outside. I like to spend time outside and since I am behind the mountain, it’s usually very peaceful. Well, at one time it was.

Anonymous wrote:

As regards to cooking get a decent book or watch how to#s on you tube. keep things simple to start with.
Cooking can’t be that hard….. women can do it.

Also other married men do not trust their wives and may see you as a potential threat.

Watching many cooking videos on Youtube and bought a few books. Trust when I say I am no threat to married men’s wives in terms of cooking. Would never get involved with a married woman anyway. I do not condone adultery in a marriage nor a relationship.

FrostByte wrote:

ForeverDone wrote:

Seems I’m in a bit of a pickle.

We are what we think we are. Your post sounds like you may have a bit of desperation too. Not being mean. Just saying it could show through and repel people even when we don’t mean to. I would try hard to convince yourself you are not lonely, you love your solitude and really like who you are. Even if this isn’t 100% for now, it will create an aura that will attract other people to you. I like the meetups and have made many friends though it. Also, I recommend the hobby of beer making. If you like beer. It has lots of guys who want to share recipes and techniques. I give them ‘teaching moments’. Then we find a happy hour. It’s also a form of cooking. There are brew clubs all over the internet. Good luck in your journy. It’s always a bit rough starting out.

I assure you, I am not desperate. I moved out of my parent’s place at 16 and spent many years alone. While it would be nice to have friends, I will not kill myself if I’m on my own socially. I am naturally very social, so when I am out and about or on a date, I have not issues keeping a conversation going. I’ve also started to go to some meetup groups. Just going along with this ride we call life. Ups and downs.

[Author]

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