Frustrated with dating

[LookingForSanityParticipant 1]

I found this forum as I’m frustrated with dating and not sure what to do.  I live in a large city with a very active dating scene.  I go out on a few dates with a woman and she disappears, because there are so many choices, everyone is disposable.  There will always be more guys out there.

I get lonely and don’t want to be alone.  I spend so much money and effort on dating (I know I spend at least $1,000 a month).  It’s getting nowhere.

I’m not ready to “drop out” of having a relationship but it looks like that’s where I’m heading whether I want to or not.  Dating is easy.  Casual sex is easy.  But having a normal satisfying relationship seems out of reach.

[Anonymous 9]

In your first sentence I read dating is frustrating and near the end I read dating is easy. Hmmm. I’ll offer up my .02 cents. Don’t date. Save your $1,000.00 a month. My def of dating, although it may be skewed is: “2 people dressing nice, being on their best behavior with the possibility of a piece of tail and a free meal.” OK that would def of 1st date. With me there weren’t a lot of second dates because I didn’t care. I would tell them what I wanted to say not what they wanted to hear.

Be yourself. Hang out with buddies, flirt with random women, get a dog. Have a loving relationship with yourself. Read these forums and glean information from them. I don’t know how old you are but there are men here with vast amounts of knowledge and experience.

Welcome.

[Anonymous 11]

I am much more content now that I’ve quit dating. More time on my hobbies. No bitching. No worries.

With casual sex being easy for you why would you even want the baggage of having a girlfriend. You don’t have to be lonely and a carping harrigan ball and chain is not the path to happiness. I’m not lonely as I’ve developed a wide network of friends. Never depend on women for your happiness.

[ComingInHotParticipant 160]

satisfying relationship and companionship, really?   get a dog

1,000 a month on dating…  smh

If you have casual sex you’re set, lonely is a state of mind, its not clinical depression.

Get on the Horse, bang women, stop spending 1k a month on women, you will thank us.

[OasidParticipant 116]

That frustration builds. One day you will be tired of it, you’ll notice when that’s happening real quick. You will go from spending 1k to 6-700 and downward from there. You can use your wallet as a guide. Eventually (I hope soon) you may see how easy it is to go to a bar, spend 12 bucks on booze for a woman and do her in a car or bathroom. You’ll look back at the dropped 1000’s and I hope you will laugh and not cry at the wasted effort.

Spend the $1000 on you and you alone. Once you start down your own path women will start noticing you. Once you start being happy women will want to suck it out of you (giggity). They can smell and run fast from desperation, mask it by not caring what they think. Best thing you can do to attract a woman is be happy with yourself. Women see a happy man and think they can steal it away from you like they will your wallet. One reason women are so angry (besides PMS) is because they thought they could take happiness from men and hoard it. They never learned that happiness isn’t physical, we create happiness by sharing it, they think they can pillage it.

May the Force Be With You

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Lookingforsanity,
I’m guessing from your post that you are in your 20s. Women that age behave as though all men are disposable, and there are an infinite amount of us. By the time they are in their early 30s, many (majority) of their friends have been married, and if they have not, they start to become concerned. I’m 48, so it’s been a while since I was in my early 30s. But I can clearly remember a very distinct change in the behavior and attitudes of the single women that remained at that age. They become slightly more discriminate about who they go out with, but very quickly decide if you are marriage material or not. If not, they disappear quickly. If you have job and house (and appear as though you could reliably make child support or alimony payments) then you are a ‘keeper’ and they become very, very focused all of the sudden.

This is not necessarily an improvement. This is a likely time for the, “oops, I’m pregnant…” scenario. You basically go from getting treated as though you are disposable, to being targeted and stalked. That was me. And when someone here recently asked me if I liked having my pick of the sudden numbers of women showing interest, I could only respond that it was like interviewing snakes to see which one I’d most prefer to be bitten by…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[experiencedParticipant]

The drawer you’re opening and shutting (thoughtwise Napoleanically) is “marriage.” ***   Currently you’re being told by women (since they hold all the power here) to “pull up a chair, join the card game.”  You’ll get a cigar, beer, snacks. “Wait, what do you think you’re doing, you don’t get to hold any of the cards, the girls hold all of them.”****   A crappy deal, every game. But you’re expected to ante up and keep increasing your bet though you’ve no chance of winning.   Therefore, rapid rewind to coming in through your door, some females attempting entry simultaneously, “Sorry, you’re not ‘coming into’ my offspring/home/car/future/good fortune/retirement***** whilst kicking me to the curb.    I know your game that you’ll slowly set up. Not interested.   Napoleon would open one drawer/challenge, deal with it, close it and go to the next one, of his chosing. This is how men think. Women open all drawers simultaneously. Sit at their table and that’s your reality,  slam that drawer shut. Wrestle your match, think the way men think. Concrete sequentially backup, out and in, of drawers to the one you won’t open, their gaining entry for, ultimately marriage.

***or its legal equivalent for destroying your life, to enrich theirs.

**** – – this is an understatement – – false rape, false abuse, your: kids/friends/reputation/career/happiness/energy level/ resources/hopes/stuff/hobbies/self esteem/time/outlook on life/life….GONE. It’s a recoverable scenario, but so’s a tornado so why head in it’s direction, to be engaged in the NEVER ENDING struggle****** to just maintain the effing status quo? Life’s too short.  Flip the card table upside down.  The marriage bubble, like tulips in Holland, has crashed. Tulip mania is over. Vulva mania is over.

*****AKA the fruits of  MY  LABOR/SWEAT/PAIN

******for truth, justice, and the american way ??…………but gee superman, I thought that was against villains.   “It is.”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

Man, I used to feel the exact same way as you. Recently though I realized something. What IS IT that I am searching for? The answer (was) a girlfriend or future wife. And it bothered me a great deal that I was coming nowhere close to finding either.

But like I said, recently I realized something. WHY? Why do I NEED a girlfriend or a wife? The truth is, I do not. I simply do not have any need for a woman except for one thing and one thing only. If I can get that, great. If not, well that sucks but what can you do? All I know is that I do not need a woman for companionship. It’s way overrated. I look at my very own parents and I see how marriage is not something I have any interest in anymore.

A lot of guys in here give great advice. Listen to them. They know what they are talking about. I am new to this site but I finally feel like I am at a point in life where I “figured it out.”

I won’t lie to you. It’s not easy to say to yourself “I have no need for women except for the sex.” When you say this to yourself you are giving up any chance at finding a girlfriend or a wife. At first you may not think this is a good thing. But in time you will see that you are making the right decision.

 

 

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[GrefParticipant 203]

Welcome Sanity we’re glad to have you!

LookingForSanity wrote:

Dating is easy. Casual sex is easy. But having a normal satisfying relationship seems out of reach.

You hit the nail on the head. This is the reality that we live in. Women are no longer capable of having a normal satisfying relationship. The whole time they are growing up they are told “Boys are evil, watch out for them! But if you meet one that’s nice he should be kissing your ass!” On top of being angry and defensive women are narcissistic and entitled.

You can take the huge risk that is trying to have a relationship with a woman and come out like most men, emotionally damaged, poor, and stripped of your civil liberties.

Or

You can accept the reality, use women for just sex, and then find companionship and love elsewhere from your friends, family, or dog.

BrainPilot wrote:

Lookingforsanity,
This is not necessarily an improvement. This is a likely time for the, “oops, I’m pregnant…” scenario. You basically go from getting treated as though you are disposable, to being targeted and stalked. That was me.

There’s a good chance that “oops I’m pregnant” is not even your kid because she’s f~~~ing 3 different guys!
This is the story of every good man who develops a good career. Women spend their youth taste testing all the flavors of c~~~ that they can, no one is important because they are so abundant. Once their looks are fading (age 30+) they are suddenly ready to settle down with a good man, and rob that man of their good years during their blooming 20’s. After marrying this good man, at best they’ll treat him like s~~~, at worst they’ll divorce rape him.

[url url=http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2d6337/i_was_divorce_raped_dont_be_me] I'm paying her 25% of my salary over the next eight years. I had to pay my lawyer, her lawyer, 50% of all my retirement funds and give her another few thousand dollars to make her go away. It cost me $20 to get married and will cost me over $220,000 to get divorced. [/url]

[MrMeParticipant 651]

Okay well , how can I say this without appearing like a self absorbed asshole? hmmm… I am considered good looking by almost everyone ( male and female) and I also have a very difficult time with the dating scene. I believe it is the same for everyone … probably even for girls. ( them and their impossibly high standards) Everyone has become disposable.

As some guys said above , just be smart about it and don’t spend 1000$ a month. Go do coffee dates, ask to split the bill and whatnot. No need to go to fancy restaurants from the beginning. Make her show you that she is worth your time and attention. Let her pay. you don’t want a gold digger trust me.

Women want to be strong and independant? Okay , pay for my meal bitch.

[Author]

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