Friend asks me for best wishes

[ghostParticipant]

One of my really good friends has decided he wants to get married because he wants to make his Mom happy. He has a lot of red pill thoughts but he is still blue pill in a lot of ways. He will have an arranged marriage with someone overseas and bring her here. He is asking me to wish him well but how can I just lie to him and say everything will be just fine? I have already warned him but he is too stubborn to realize. I think he is not challenging himself in life and feels like this is the next logical step. I feel really down after hearing him say he wants to do this. I told him I’d always be there for him regardless but I know our relationship will change after he is married.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Ask him to do you ONE favor:

To watch this ONE video:

Also send him the link to this page on this website:

Comments from Married Men

Also tell him that the brothers on this site are waiting for him and welcome him.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Anonymous 1]

If you’ve already made your point of view clear to him, then there’s really not much else you can do other than be the example. I don’t think you should have to lie, but it might not be any better for your friendship to voice how you feel regularly. It sounds f~~~ed up, but the truth does not always set one free.

You’re in a tough situation. Often, when men get married their friends and family get pushed to the back burner. I think you could wish him well, guilt free because it sounds like you really care about him as your friend. You wishing him well doesn’t mean you are condoning him getting married.

[ghostParticipant]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Also tell him that the brothers on this site are waiting for him and welcome him.

I have sent him both. I hope he watches it and reads the comments. Thanks.

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

be the example.

That’s my plan.

Anonymous wrote:

it might not be any better for your friendship to voice how you feel regularly.

I agree. A lot of what we talk about is going to change now but I have to respect his wishes.

Anonymous wrote:

I think you could wish him well, guilt free because it sounds like you really care about him as your friend.

I do. He respects my views and my choice of direction in life given my personal experiences. I owe it to him to respect his. This is really tough. This is my only friend who I thought would never do this. He is the last of my single and never married friends.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22532]

I guess I would just try to ask him a couple questions.

Why is it acceptable for his mom’s happiness to take precedence over his own happiness? He is going to have to be the one that lives with this woman every day, forever, and spend all his resources on her, his mother doesn’t have to spend a dime or be around her all the time he isn’t working. He is way more impacted negatively by this than his mother ever ccould be. He could wind up being terribly unhappy, just to make his mother “supposedly” happy.

Also point out to him that “happy” is not a continuous state, it is a peak. His mom will be “happy” for a little while then it will be back to normal and more demands will be made on him, by his mom, to “make her happy” again, but this time other demands will be made on him by his wife, to make HER happy.

Ask him to look at the relationship HIS dad has with his mom. Is it really all that it is made out to be? Or does the dad get hounded, have to compromise about stuff all the time to keep the peace, walk on eggshells, ask permission to use the bathroom, go somewhere, etc.

Is it because she wants grandkids? How selfish is that, she doesn’t even consider his thoughts about relationships and marriage. She just wants what she wants and she really doesn’t care what he actually wants. If he doesn’t want what she wants, because he’s a man (and young) he obviously has a problem.

Why does he accept his mothers view that he needs to get married, like he has some sort of terrible problem about marriage that needs to be corrected. Why assume mom is right? Why assume mom has his best interests at heart? She isn’t even listening to him, she dismisses his views because they do not matter to her. She wants him married and wants grandkids to show off and brag about, and that is all that matters to her. His well being and security mean nothing. His concerns about marriage mean nothing to her.

I would seriously try to get him to hear these points. Print them out and let him read them if he won’t talk too much about it. He’s got to mull this stuff over. This kind of stuff destroys men, good men.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

ghost wrote:

This is really tough. This is my only friend who I thought would never do this. He is the last of my single and never married friends.

It’s really f~~~ed. All married friends do not have time for their friends anymore. I am lucky to have ONE friend who is living the same MGTOW lifestyle as I am.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[ghostParticipant]

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

I would seriously try to get him to hear these points. Print them out and let him read them if he won’t talk too much about it.

Your points are all valid. I have gone through each and every one of those thoughts myself. I will take your list, rephrase it and email it to him to ponder over. I appreciate the help, mate.

[ghostParticipant]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

I am lucky to have ONE friend who is living the same MGTOW lifestyle as I am.

I thought I was too. I still hope he changes his mind but you really are lucky if you can have at least one friend like that.

[Anonymous 12]

Arranged marriage, Indian?

You can just wish him all the best which is not a big deal thing to say really. He might force his way through the whole thing and just have affairs on the side which is something I have noticed a lot of Indian men do.

That said you could just ask him if he is living his life for his mother or for himself.

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Arranged marriage, Indian?

You can just wish him all the best which is not a big deal thing to say really. He might force his way through the whole thing and just have affairs on the side which is something I have noticed a lot of Indian men do.

That said you could just ask him if he is living his life for his mother or for himself.

Pakistani. He is of Pashtun origin. Strong guy but family oriented like myself. I am trying my best to save him but I am afraid he will have to fall for him to realize. The Pashtuns are very stubborn. If he does fall, I will be right there to pick him up. I am an example for him in the sense that I love my mother more than anything in this world. I still wouldn’t get married for her because it would not make her happy to see me unhappy. I don’t think he realizes this because he has avoided relationships for a long time now. He is a tough guy. A part of me feels like he will see reality before he commits. A couple of phone conversations with this future bride might wake him up.

[ghostParticipant]

Can you send him this link too, this is in memory of him, your friend, but I think you should send it to him so he can get the point.

LOL – will do.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Let him fall of the cliff.

Just tell him to give you a call when all hell cut loose.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

Here show him these links:

93.4% of all first marriages end in divorce.

and

CDC stats where the first link sited as a source. Have him scroll down to “Divorce and marital disruption” and he can view it there as well although they only show for 5 years and the rate there for the years 2011-2015:

Year 1: 51% will be divorced

Year 3: 76%

Year 5: 84%

If you continue on that path you can see by year 10 the divorce rate can climb up to 94.3% easily. So ask your friend if he is willing to jump out of airplane with only a 6.6% chance of survival and if he still thinks he is lucky to be in that 6% range wish him all the luck in the world you did your job and nothing more can be said. He will choose to jump anyway you can’t change someone unless they are willing to change for themselves no amount of stats will change him I hope I am proven wrong he needs to learn the hard way it seems.

[Anonymous 3]

Wish him the best & b there for him when the s~~~ hit the fan. He will wake up. It would b amazing if he could manage to keep the fantasy alive

[Anonymous 12]

ghost wrote:

Morlock wrote:

Arranged marriage, Indian?

You can just wish him all the best which is not a big deal thing to say really. He might force his way through the whole thing and just have affairs on the side which is something I have noticed a lot of Indian men do.

That said you could just ask him if he is living his life for his mother or for himself.

Pakistani. He is of Pashtun origin. Strong guy but family oriented like myself. I am trying my best to save him but I am afraid he will have to fall for him to realize. The Pashtuns are very stubborn. If he does fall, I will be right there to pick him up. I am an example for him in the sense that I love my mother more than anything in this world. I still wouldn’t get married for her because it would not make her happy to see me unhappy. I don’t think he realizes this because he has avoided relationships for a long time now. He is a tough guy. A part of me feels like he will see reality before he commits. A couple of phone conversations with this future bride might wake him up.

I hope he does wake up. One friend I had a long time ago had a chat with me about how he didn’t understand why his life went wrong as he did everything he was supposed to do. He met a girl (at 16) got her pregnant (at 17) and had the kid. To him this was the way of life. I didn’t bother telling him that all his problems were due to doing what he was told.

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

I didn’t bother telling him that all his problems were due to doing what he was told.

Most guys won’t listen to you anyway. You have to let them f~~~ themselves.

[Author]

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