Hello my name is Edward and I am 21 years old, I have been used by women my whole life, since I am blessed with abstract and practical skills. Basically I am a virgin who has been cuddled by his mommy for his own life, but now with a girl that came into my life, who wasted my time without I even getting inside her. She basically used me for my brain, and I like a fool decided to confess my love to her after filling the white knight role for basically a month and a half. I had class with this girl and she out of the blue approached me at the end of class asking about political realism, and I like the desperate beta male that I was, was elated that this girl was talking to me, she immediately tested to see if I was an alpha male, or just a pawn to be used, ultimately she decided I was a beta after seeing that I would offer to help her with her resume, and with fixing her direction and goals in life. Basically what Im getting at is I was the friend who spoke with her on the phone, she always texted me first, I always assuming that she was this innocent girl, until she one day as I was helping her pick her classes for next semester started crying because she saw her life was meaningless, she then confessed that she left her parents house because they wouldn’t tolerate her smoking weed. At that moment I gave her my pathetic love letter. The next day after not hearing from her and we had class together, I decided not to sit next to her as I had done before, like the little puppy that I was, she obviously noticed, and left class early since I did not respond to the text she sent in class. Like a beta male noticing her leave class early I texted her to see if she was alright. She responded later and changed the subject and complained about our class, since our final was coming soon and she had received a c in her midterm. The next day was Wednesday, and I wanted to talk to her about the letter and we met up, I was such a coward that when I saw her I was flustered, she basically insulted me, saying how I had no experience with women due to my awkwardness. She said it very coldly and acted as If she did not already know that I liked her, she gave me the bulls~~~ answer about she is exploring her sexuality and crap. That was my first profound experience with a women as I had turned 21 a month to that day. I left the cafeteria that day crying, and emotionally distressed, feeling as though I was unworthy of anyones love. She texted me throughout the days as we were in thanksgiving break, I never responded as I was trying to move on. She even called from her work’s number just to see if I was ignoring her and I never responded. It wasn’t until the next class that she approached me and I ignored her and then idiot me feeling bas approached her and then she went on a tear as she knew she had me back in her claws, she blamed me for convincing her not to drop the class. She was basically a passive aggressive person whose true colors i had finally saw. Later on the week she called me and I having an epiphany decided to be an asshole and she was shocked by my changed behavior, she started acting more feminine the following weeks since I did not respond to her text and when we met up I exhibited alpha male qualities, although her tests and mind games became just more clever. Ultimately I couldn’t keep up with her test that I went for the kiss and she gave me the whole she’s a lesbian thing even though when I stood up to her I noticed her body language shift to a very feminine submissive type. Our relations~~~ if it should even be called that ended with me with the upper hand I believe as she after I came late on helping her the morning before our final decided to give me the cold shoulder, but the next day she texted me asking me for our professor’s email, which she obviously could have just googled, she tried to exert her dominance over but she couldn’t as I shrugged her away. She has not contacted me since, and since then which was December 11 I have decided to swallow the red pill and I must say I feel conflicted as I feel lied to my whole life, but relieved since I have found out at this age. I am still coming to terms with the grip women have over men, and I know that now I am an alpha male as I notice the way women of all ages look at me now since they can see the confidence and the body language that says Im better than them. I believe that I have found what was always there for me which is that I have worked my whole life for people to respect me, I have done this through my intelligence and my ability to produce. I don’t know if I am going to go full MGTOW yet since I am still experimenting with this breath of knowledge I have acquired. I hope I can get advice from fellow MGTOW brothers on how I should proceed, and how to come to terms with the truth that I have found which has made me feel at times mortified.
RoyDal 5 years, 1 month ago.
