Dumbest thing a woman has said to you

[Anonymous 54]

My x asked me how a cooler knew to keep something hot or cold.

Swear to God…

[ReclusParticipant 96]

After frying my iPhone that was left recharging overnight in the kitchen, she told me it could not have been because she turned the microwave on to make breakfast coffee (wtf? use the appropriate kitchen appliance for Christ’s sake!) because microwaves can’t pass through metal.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

when I was married, I frequently got accused of cheating. It tended to come up at exactly the point in the conversation that I would ask her when she was going to get a f’king job. The accusation was intended to change the subject and it always worked… right up until the time she did it in a marriage counselor’s office. On that day, at a rate of about 110$ an hour, we had a different conversation.

when the conversation got uncomfortable for her, she let that accusation fly. Marriage counselor (female) appeared to believe her and looked at me for a response. Counselor said, “It appears you don’t have your wife’s trust…”. Very calmly, I explained that I had financial records of every dollar I had earned or spent for the last 6 years. (Everything down to the soap I used to wash the car). I had cell phone bills delineating every phone call I’d made or received and the phone numbers of the other person. I had work records of all the time I’d spent outside the house away from the wife. I then explained that since I had proof that the cheating she was accusing me of was impossible, I didn’t think I needed to rely on trust.

I had proof.

The ex wife: “ALL THE PROOF IN THE WORLD DOESN’T PROVE ANYTHING…!!!”

It was our last meeting with the counselor. The next time I made an appointment, it was with a lawyer.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[CardinalParticipant 82]

“Well, I am pretty Liberal”

[SuggestiusParticipant 3312]

I’m afraid of going to grocery stores.

Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)

[CatsPawParticipant 423]

“you can trust me” (or any variation of it).

[ApexScorpionParticipant 602]

Had a women tell me that salt and water was the same.

That’s probably the dumbest I’ve ever heard.

A freebie: “I should have never tried to change you.”

She said that after trying to get me to move in with her. That was her way of calling it quits.

Ha! Can’t fool me bitch.

[ClutchParticipant 48]

“You’re the biggest I’ve had, bigger than your friend.”

[Screamin1Participant 152]

– That phone number that there are 10,000 + texts to is just a friend.
– I am moving into a friend’s house.
– You are my soulmate.
– He is a really good guy (convicted felon, endangering a child, heroin dealer).

[aeragoanParticipant 1186]

A fat girl told me to f~~~ her hard just 2 weeks before her marriage.we know each other for almost 2years.i refused lol by saying i dont f~~~ my friends..she looked me awkwardly that time

[DanceMyOwnWayParticipant 2096]

I love you now and always
You’re the first guy to ever do that to me
Why don’t you trust me
You’ll meet the right woman soon
You’re going to lose a really nice girl who would never hurt you

Etc
Etc
Etc

Simply reverse all these statements and you have the truth…

If you fall down 7 times, get up 8

[Frank V.Participant 2445]

Really, I am surprised this is not a far longer thread !

Frank V.

[Sky-OParticipant 18936]

‘I love you’

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

To have and to hold from this day forward,

for better or for worse,

for richer or for poorer,

in sickness and in health; to love and cherish,

till death us do part

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[ronnyquestParticipant 156]

Dumbest thing a woman has said to you:

“We’ll have an uncontested divorce and just agree on everything.”

Or

“Don’t you think we’ll get along a lot better when we’re not married?”

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking! -- William Butler Yeats

[Fr JackParticipant 926]

I was driving with my wife in the car, someone had previously left a trail of oil behind them on the road. I said something like, someones got a pretty bad oil leak, and she replied, it’s not coming from our car, is it?
She’s not even blonde.

[ThelouderthebetterParticipant 178]

Getting gas one evening with my wife and kids (at the time). I pull up to the pump and turn the car off. I left the radio on because the kids were enjoying it. I get out of the car and gas up. When I get back in the car the radio is off and the climate is a bit tense. I ask the pair of ovaries in the passenger seat why she turned the radio off and she said “because it could start a fire” and that I was very inconsiderate for leaving it on.

I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. Sometimes a guy just cant win.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings.

[MeriwetherParticipant 2]

I hiccuped in bed and, as sometimes they do, it sorta failed half way through and I choked on my oesophagus.

“Ow,” I said laughing, “That hurt.”

“What hurt?” she said.

“I just hurt my oesophagus when I hicc’d.” I said.

Cue a good 30 second pause, then she said it.

“What does a hiccup have to do with vegetables?”

[HollowPointParticipant 2]

Not much soon after she dropped the D bomb she actually said this to me: “One day our kids will wonder why I divorced a good man.” smdh

If I could really bet my life on something, I'd already be dead!

[Author]

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