Background: I’ve got a “booty call” girl I’ve been seeing for a little over a year now. She comes over late in the evening, around 11pm, we have a snack, talk about work for a few minutes, watch a bit of TV then go to bed. In the morning we have a shower and some coffee and she takes off. We never go out and none of my friends have ever even heard of her, much less met her. Like I said, booty call.
She gives great massages, the sex is just fine and she’s rasonably tolerable to talk to for a little while. In short, from my point of view, everything is just fine exactly like it is. But of course she wants more. She won’t say it, but she wants me to take her out and be proud of her and treat her like a girlfriend, which is not going to happen.
Now the story. I’m out after a show talking with some of the tech crew, one of them who happens to be a female. This female is one of those fat chicks who thinks she’s hot, is sexually very aggressive… and can’t understand why nobody will f~~~ her… and insists on talking about it all the time. She brings up the topic of everyone’s relationship status and it goes around the table. When it comes to me, I bluntly say exactly what I just said above.
The misandric land whale is triggered.
“How the f~~~ do you think you know what she wants? I’m so sick of men thinking they know exactly what’s going on in a woman’s mind.”
“Look, you f~~~ someone two or three times a week for a year, you should pretty well know where they stand. If she were here you guys would be able to tell immediately that she wants to be my girlfriend so don’t tell me I can’t have any insight into her thinking.”
“I have a seven year old son and I’ve known him for his entire life and I don’t know what he’s thinking most of the time.”
“Well that’s either totally untrue or you’re just not paying enough attention to him.”
“It’s all about communication. Communication is so important… you have to talk to her and ask her what she wants.”
“Communication is overrated. And why would I ask her what she wants when I’m perfectly satisfied with the situation as it is? If SHE isn’t happy and wants something more, she needs to figure out how to get it… and TALKING about how unhappy she is is NOT the way to do that.”
“What do you mean? Of course she should tell you what she wants, how else would you ever know?”
“Okay, let me explain it like this. If our waitress was standing over there thinking to herself ‘That table has been sitting there taking up space for two hours… they should order more.’ how would you think she should handle that? Do you think she should walk over here to us and say ‘Hey, you guys aren’t ordering enough… order something more or I’m going to throw you out.’ would that work for you?”
“Well, no…”
“That would be communication. She’d tell us she’s upset and what she wants and we’d be p~~~ed and we’d leave. And probably give her a s~~~ty tip. So how would a smart person handle the situation?”
“Come ask if we want to order something more?”
“Wrong. We’re satisfied. We don’t want any more. But we’re not leaving either. If she comes and asks us what we want, we might ask for another round of waters and stay for another hour.”
“Okay then, smartass… what should she do?”
“She should come over here and offer us something we wouldn’t otherwise have asked for. Something we want but don’t realize we want.”
“And how’s she supposed to know what that is?”
“She should have been paying attention from the start… listening to what we said, thinking about what would pique our interest, maybe tell us a special that’s not on the menu, or offer to have the chef create something unique for us or offer us a deal on another round of drinks or a fancy dessert.”
“Then she’d have to come and ask us what we want… like I said, communication is important.”
“No, we don’t want anything so asking would be pointless. But offering something new that we hadn’t thought of… consider this woman in my life. I told her this exact thing. ‘If you want more, you should offer something more. Same as in work or with friends or in your community life… you give value to get value. And the value you give has to be something the other person wants and needs, even if they would never have asked for it themselves. You have to be aware of their interests and be smart about how to appeal to them. Just demaning more from them is the quick way to to the exit.'”
“What a dick move. Why would you tell a woman to offer you more when you’ve already said you don’t want more? What do you expect her to offer?”
“I don’t want her to offer anything. I’m perfectly satisfied as it is now. But SHE wants more… and I’m just telling her the best way to get it.”
The conversation devolved into a circle that she could not break out of… incapable of understanding that I would offer good advice to someone who was negotiating with me for a better deal and in NO WAY grasping of the idea of getting value by offering value first.
Typical.
At the end she said:
“I can’t believe this poor girl can stand being with you at all.”
“Well, she’s getting f~~~ed good three times a week and now has a few ideas about how to make it four or five… so she’s doing better than most women around here, wouldn’t you agree?”
Stargazer 2 years, 12 months ago.
