Don’t date for love(good advice)?

[FinallyGoneParticipant 15]

When I was young, my father told me that you should never marry for love, that you should pick a woman who would be a good mother and love will come naturally. I thought this bulls~~~, but given that he and my mom were married for 30yrs before he passed, I have to wonder if there was little bit of wisdom in that.

I’ve been in love a few times and it has never lasted. It always happens the same way, being nervous, feeling lots of anxiety, then almost like a miracle getting what I want. This isn’t love really, it’s just a concoction of emotions designed to get you to want more of it. But given that uncertainty in a relationship, and anxiety about who the person is will almost always go away……. I have to wonder if I shouldn’t actually care about love at all. It’s a great scam sold to us since we were toddlers. So if you shouldn’t go for love, then what?

Sexual attraction, shows respect, similar morals and values, etc…. But I still feel lost. I’ve spent my whole life going for love, love is all I’ve known for a long time. Looking for feedback on this, comments, advice, arguments against……….

[RoyDalParticipant]

What Hollywood sells us as “love” is a glandular condition. If we are lucky, it will last as long as a year; if typical, a few months. What comes next is dealing with the real her. Dealing with her every day until death, or divorce, do you part.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

I imagine your dad and mom married in a different era. It might have been good advice then, and if things had remained the same as they were, it would still be good advice now. Socially and legally (which is what a marriage really is) things are vastly different to even 30 years ago.

Now, a woman will only get married if:

a) the Wedding Day is all about HER, [this is the primary motivating factor for women getting married, it’s not about THEM, or HIM and HER, only HER, and once over, she descends either slowly or quickly into low physical and emotional standards]
b) she’s still “in love” with him*

*by “in love”, I mean she needs to feel secure enough that he can and will provide a “level-up” for her financially, socially, or some other tangible way. I think either TFM or Sargon of Akkad does a good job of dissecting “she doesn’t love you”. Worth googling.

The modern era is very different from our dads’ era. At this point in time, at the very moment that a married woman perceives that she stands to gain more (financially, socially, or otherwise) elsewhere, she will leave. This is hypergamy, the trait of marrying “up” that is inherent in female nature. Due to the over-abundance of resources of all kinds, coupled with no-fault divorce laws that actually REWARD a woman for divorcing, women’s hypergamous nature is overt, and State-backed.

So to revisit your dad’s original statement, “Don’t marry for love”, perhaps a more up-to-date statement would be “Don’t marry”.

[experiencedParticipant]

WedLOCK
To a woman – she’s marrying up
To a man – he’s f~~~ing up

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[hellraiderParticipant 2837]

A better advice is not to date at all.

If you have to, just go to a prostitute.
Cheaper and a lot safer.

If you have a one night stand, casual relatioship or even friends with benefits at any moment you can be hit hard with a rape charge, or stuck with a kid that isnt even yours.

Seriously, if you think rationaly, what do YOU get from a woman besides sex?

if you have to, go out on dates but forget about marriage.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10910]

When it involves a woman, never do ANYTHING for love. Come to think of it, never do anything for her at all. She will disappoint you.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[pabsawakeParticipant 1761]

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I imagine your dad and mom married in a different era. It might have been good advice then, and if things had remained the same as they were, it would still be good advice now. Socially and legally (which is what a marriage really is) things are vastly different to even 30 years ago.

Now, a woman will only get married if:

a) the Wedding Day is all about HER, [this is the primary motivating factor for women getting married, it’s not about THEM, or HIM and HER, only HER, and once over, she descends either slowly or quickly into low physical and emotional standards]
b) she’s still “in love” with him*

*by “in love”, I mean she needs to feel secure enough that he can and will provide a “level-up” for her financially, socially, or some other tangible way. I think either TFM or Sargon of Akkad does a good job of dissecting “she doesn’t love you”. Worth googling.

The modern era is very different from our dads’ era. At this point in time, at the very moment that a married woman perceives that she stands to gain more (financially, socially, or otherwise) elsewhere, she will leave. This is hypergamy, the trait of marrying “up” that is inherent in female nature. Due to the over-abundance of resources of all kinds, coupled with no-fault divorce laws that actually REWARD a woman for divorcing, women’s hypergamous nature is overt, and State-backed.

So to revisit your dad’s original statement, “Don’t marry for love”, perhaps a more up-to-date statement would be “Don’t marry”.

[/quote

Well said Quietly

Women are decendent from prime apes. When the Alpha Ape is dethroned the female apes have sex with the new Alpha Ape. The only real difference is that unlike most woman the female apes are not fat, riddle with disease and loosely Vaged.

Stay single

"You can either love women or understand them, you can't do both". Truth over everything

[FinallyGoneParticipant 15]

Lol, this is the kinda conversation I’m trying to avoid. Saying don’t date isn’t helpful when your looking for a woman to date long term. I think a lot of people here are aware that love really and truly is a lie, but that isn’t bad thing. I’ve had this discussion before, I’m still trying to date. I might need one or two people on the side lines yelling “Don’t do it,” but when I’ve already decided to move forward, what I need more is a discussion on how to do so.

[narwhalParticipant]

@FG, you came to a MGTOW side for advice and how to have a success long term relationship? You say you’re not expecting love…what are you expecting? Are you looking for a FWB? Don’t know what you want.

What you described in your original post sounded like an arranged marriage. Maybe that’s what you want. I can’t recommend it in this country. No matter how selective you are or what criteria you use to pick your mate, she has the legal right to take have your stuff, take your kids, ruin your life, just because she feels like it.

I’d say the men who successfully date women on these boards are successful because they are very, very firm in their principles and boundaries. They will not cave because she might not like it, she might reject me, or she might go away. They let her stay when the relationship is beneficial and cut her lose when it is not. No exceptions.

So your first step, regardless of what you want really, is to know your principles and boundaries and apply them to your life without exception.

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 42]

FinallyGone wrote:

I’ve spent my whole life going for love, love is all I’ve known for a long time.

You’re chasing an illusion! Unicorn, Love, one in the same thing! They don’t exist anymore, feminism is all there is, just feminism. Men don’t count anymore, until they’re counting their steps as they walk away…..

[FinallyGoneParticipant 15]

Anonymous wrote:

You’re chasing an illusion! Unicorn, Love, one in the same thing! They don’t exist anymore, feminism is all there is, just feminism. Men don’t count anymore, until they’re counting their steps as they walk away…..

No, I specifically said I’m not chasing this. Actually my post has more to do with my feelings of “Now what?” What do you do after you have accepted that you have been lied to. I know most have decided to stop sexual relations all together, but that’s not where I’m at.

narwhal wrote:

@FG, you came to a MGTOW side for advice and how to have a success long term relationship? You say you’re not expecting love…what are you expecting? Are you looking for a FWB? Don’t know what you want.

What you described in your original post sounded like an arranged marriage. Maybe that’s what you want. I can’t recommend it in this country. No matter how selective you are or what criteria you use to pick your mate, she has the legal right to take have your stuff, take your kids, ruin your life, just because she feels like it.

I’d say the men who successfully date women on these boards are successful because they are very, very firm in their principles and boundaries. They will not cave because she might not like it, she might reject me, or she might go away. They let her stay when the relationship is beneficial and cut her lose when it is not. No exceptions.

So your first step, regardless of what you want really, is to know your principles and boundaries and apply them to your life without exception.

Narwhal, I admit I am iffy on what I want. I’m definitely not looking for marriage. I want sex, some connection, someone who is on board with my way of living. I could make a list, but that just feels arbitrary. This will definitely take some working on.

[Sky-OParticipant 18936]

My days of chasing and being a unicorn wrangler are long over and as a result, the quality of my life overall has objectively improved as well as my physical, mental and emotional health.

Knowing what I know now about women, relationships and the illusion that is romantic ‘love’, I can honestly say that seeking ‘love’ and sacrificing my goals, dreams and aspirations in an attempt to
acquire the mythological ‘love’ that a woman has to offer is in fact synonymous with not valuing life.

And I value life too much to ever go back to the old ways, which were nothing more than a pact with death. The death of my goals, dreams, aspirations and all that I should live for.

[BokehParticipant 65]

Now what? Easy. Whatever you want.

[VarunParticipant 2981]

I guess your dad forgot to mention ‘a woman of pre-feminist era’. You won’t find those anymore. Love is by and large an all-loss-no-gain thingy and it always hurt, no matter how ‘good’ it feels or how ‘long’ it lasts.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

RoyDal wrote:

What Hollywood sells us as “love” is a glandular condition. If we are lucky, it will last as long as a year; if typical, a few months. What comes next is dealing with the real her. Dealing with her every day until death, or divorce, do you part.

This, once you have been through divorce rape you see marriage for exactly what it is. She has trapped him with the pussy so she now thinks she can get him to agree to marry her and agree to be her slave.

Trust me, you might think you are “in love” with her due to a chemical imbalance in your brain but trust me this is only temporary. This will wear off after a year and you will slowly start to discover who you actually married. Trust me, it isn’t the woman who cooked you dinner and then gave you a slow blow job after.

The woman you married is the woman who will start to use reward sex to get you to do what she wants. You will now only get sex when it is your birthday, you have bought her something expensive or if you have put in a new bathroom. Other than that she will tell she she is too tired or not really interested in sex anymore.

Obviously she is still interested in sex, just not with you. You will realise this once you get the “I am not happy, I need space speech” Once she has started having a Facebook affair with a guy she used to go to school with.

Once you have been through divorce rape you can use this to your advantage. When you are not married a woman will give you all the sex you want until she thinks she has you hooked. The first s~~~ test for this will be the first time she refuses to have sex with you for some bulls~~~ excuse such as she is tired or has to get up early tomorrow. This is a test, she is testing you to see if you stick around. These is only one way to win at this test and that is to dump her and move onto the next one.

Use relationships to get sex, but bail once you see this warning sign.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[Author]

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