DESIGNER VAGINA

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5066]

My wife’s not happy
I asked her what was wrong
She replied
“It won’t be long before I’m all flappy”

Call me a cynic
But I still took her to the clinic

We sat down
Her wearing a surgical gown
When she asked
“Are you happy with that Dick?”

I thought how vulgar
When we’re supposed to be talking
About you’re Vulva

We were given a magazine
Where I’d never seen such obscene

Tucked in
Tucked out
Dangling about
Even one’s with lips that pout

The trouble and strife
Said she wanted flaps that were flexible
As she was cut by the knife
On the surgical table

Two hours later
Her swollen groin region
Was the size of a potater

She then said
“Would you like to see where you put your willy?”

I was bedazzled
By her vajazzle

It made me want to renew our vows
But then I remembered
She might have a designer vagina
But it still smells!!

[Branched offParticipant 10929]

I would like to design a vagina. A nice useful one that was a good fit, smelt nice all the time, was not out of service once a month and that came attached to a useful creature.

Then I reflect that if women were useful for more than reproduction they would be winning both at usefulness and at controlling thirsty men and that would make them so much better than men and that would be a bummer because then they really would be like those birds in the films and men would be just crap like the ones in the films.

So I think maybe I could design a nice vagina that was attached to a pleasant helpful woman who was grateful for what I did for her and that would be enough. Its still too much to ask though isn’t it!

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5066]

Branched off wrote:

I would like to design a vagina. A nice useful one that was a good fit, smelt nice all the time, was not out of service once a month and that came attached to a useful creature.
Then I reflect that if women were useful for more than reproduction they would be winning both at usefulness and at controlling thirsty men and that would make them so much better than men and that would be a bummer because then they really would be like those birds in the films and men would be just crap like the ones in the films.
So I think maybe I could design a nice vagina that was attached to a pleasant helpful woman who was grateful for what I did for her and that would be enough. Its still too much to ask though isn’t it!

Would you design one that humans didn’t come out from? But where would we then come from? The arsehole, never!

It’s conundrum alright Mr Branch.
It’s a bloody womb thing!

[Author]

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