Dealing with a hated Aniversary

[Greg HondaParticipant 6406]

My hated anviersary occurs tomorrow June 9th.

Three years since the catastrophic event that changed my world. For some this may be the discovery of infidelity, others, a Divorce summons, others the death of a child. For me it’s berevement. How we handle such events can’t be known in advance. It’s only when the hammer falls that you find out what you can cope with.

Like many I suppose, I considdered ending my existence, but, affraid for the consequences to my eternal soul, could not go through with it. The next best option seemed to smoke and drink myself to an “accidental” demise, but my body proved itself stronger than I thought.

Faced with the prosepect of having to work through my pain alone I considdered building a new life with another woman. However, the attitudes of women on dating sites and face to face interactions replused me. Inadvertently this led to the discovery of MGTOW.

I can now say that three years after the Event, I find myself better able to deal with what fate threw at me. The memories of that night still haunt me with regret and self loathing, but as time goes by I become more at ease with myself and accept the past for what it is. The Unchangeable past. No amount of regret can change what happened. I just have to learn to move on.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I feel I must have surrived for a reason. Maybe this will become clear in time.

I just wanted to say to those currently going through thier “Event” at this moment, (or like me, the aniversary of that Event). that you can surrvive, and maybe even find a new strength and wisdom you never had before in doing so.

Peace and inner strength to all who have to deal with such painful things.

By surrviving we can insipre others to be strong when thier time comes.

We must go on until we are granted leave. We are here for a reason.

I hope you find yours.

Greg Honda

It's Time to get Wise

[joetechParticipant]

For me it’s Labor Day. Labor Day of 1977 is the day a drunk driver changed mine and my daughter’s life forever. With a crippled child there’s never closure. It’s the main reason I’ve never had a DUI…I answer to a higher power than the law. I answer to my daughter’s view of her father…me.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[MACHOParticipant]

Thanks Greg, awesome sharing, 👍 no doubt this is already helping desperate or near desperate men that just can’t see the light at the end of their tunnel!

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[53ClicksUpParticipant 1345]

Greg, hang tough. Over time this day will seem like any other day and you won’t even think about such ugly past events. To the others who are currently going through their similar life changing event. I want to remind each and every one of them, that it is far better to live and torment your antagonists than terminate you own existence. Death is permanent. There is no replay button. Live to fight another day. Semper Fi MGTOW brothers!

[Gone GhostSpectator 222]

Really moving post Greg , thank you so much for taking the time to write this.

Greg Honda wrote:

Like many I suppose, I considdered ending my existence, but, affraid for the consequences to my eternal soul, could not go through with it. The next best option seemed to smoke and drink myself to an “accidental” demise, but my body proved itself stronger than I thought.

Not everyone makes it out of these sort of situations , respect for surviving and fighting through the darkest storms. I have had a few very tough events to deal with in my family, and I would say the scars never fully go away …but as you say – finding new strength and wisdom is possible in time if you dig deep and keep trying to take steps forward. For me I have always tried to take one step at a time, although some days I think these dark memories make you want to destroy all of the steps you have made.. to destroy the path you have forged and end the constant pain which lurks beneath the surface. However I think keeping the right friends around you and staying in touch with anyone who will offer positive support or just an ear to listen can give you hope and help a lot. For me it’s just getting these thoughts out of my head and speaking to a close friend in person or going for a beer with them and just venting the emotions. I think having a close circle of inner friends ( or just one) that you can really trust in life is hard to find and a real blessing if you can. Especially when you’re going through a tough time, that’s when you know who really has time for you , and who is a snake in the grass who is nothing more than a hanger-on during the good times.

Also very sorry to hear about your daughter Joetech. Although any words I type just dont’ seem to convey the depth or sincerity that I would like them to. There are some circumstances in life which just make you stop completely and all of the everyday bulls~~~ pales in comparison and becomes totally unimportant.. compared to life, love .. close friends and family.

~ Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress? ~

[GregB0Participant]

Greg Honda wrote:

The memories of that night still haunt me with regret and self loathing, but as time goes by I become more at ease with myself and accept the past for what it is. The Unchangeable past. No amount of regret can change what happened. I just have to learn to move on.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I feel I must have surrived for a reason. Maybe this will become clear in time.

Greg, You will only get stronger with time, you will look back to discover that you have accomplished your “reason” many times over and have helped many people. As discussed, you are here because of someone else’s action and you have no choice but to live your life to the fullest to honor them. It’s good have someone watching your back my friend, past-present-future.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[GregB0Participant]

Gone Ghost wrote:

Also very sorry to hear about your daughter Joetech. Although any words I type just dont’ seem to convey the depth or sincerity that I would like them to. There are some circumstances in life which just make you stop completely and all of the everyday bulls~~~ pales in comparison and becomes totally unimportant.. compared to life, love .. close friends and family.

You have my sympathies and best wishes as well Joetech. I will roll down the mountain to see you soon. Thanks again for your counsel and conversation today as well.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[joetechParticipant]

Thank you, Gone Ghost. That’s very touching.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[TrapperParticipant 2912]

Thanks for the post Greg. Some may read it and say, nothing like that has ever happened to me.

Nobody knows what tomorrow has waiting for each of us.

This is the kind of thread always IGNORED by MGTOW critics. Shame. You and Joetech are tougher than me.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Thats the anniversary of your freedom Greg brother…Freedom from the plantation…When you reached down deep within you and found a fountain of strength…

joetech wrote:

For me it’s Labor Day. Labor Day of 1977 is the day a drunk driver changed mine and my daughter’s life forever. With a crippled child there’s never closure. It’s the main reason I’ve never had a DUI…I answer to a higher power than the law. I answer to my daughter’s view of her father…me.

My sympathies Joe…But she is alive..There is a purpose however hard it seems…Just look at Stephen Hawking, or others who have faced adversity but continued to look at life positively and making the most of it…I admire your strength brother….

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Gone GhostSpectator 222]

Life can be so f~~~ing brutal it’s unreal .. what still amazes me is that people who are going through unspeakable hardships are usually the ones who are the most positive and gracious towards others. When I hear people complain and bitch about trivial s~~~ it really p~~~es me off. Thoughts are with you today Greg.

~ Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress? ~

[Greg HondaParticipant 6406]

Thanks to all who replied. I will be on the Zoom forum later.

Hopefully my mood will improve with a little company.

It's Time to get Wise

[Author]

Posts