Cupcakes 5 Most Laughable New Years Resolutions

[NoLongerBlindParticipant 530]

Happy 2019 brothers!!! Each year they SWEAR to do these 5 things and usually fail miserably. They don’t always happen in the same order… but year after year these same 5 regularly appear! So FROM LOWEST to HIGHEST here goes:

#5- I WILL AVOID WOMEN WHO CAUSE TOO MUCH DRAMA

(Ok..great..but the only reason their is drama is cuz she created it…99% of the time…very few exceptions)

#4- SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

(Oh please! Without F~~~book, Insta-groin, twitter or Snapchat she would not exist! She has no other hobbies anyway! Plus she gets all the beta attention she can…so social media is always in her best interest)

#3- GO TO CHURCH MORE

(Ohhhhhhh…this is a BIG ONE! After years on the carousel…cheating…lying..at least 1 abortion…who better than Jesus to make her a born again virgin…LOL)

#2- GET IN SHAPE AND LOSE WEIGHT

(Good lord…you said that last year! The only problem is that you don’t lose weight by laying on the sofa streaming Netflix….whatever)

#1- I’M GOING TO GET INTO A “SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP”

(Ha Ha Ha…this always TAKES FIRST PLACE. But what’s more laughable…”serious” or “relationship”
Their not capable of either…and they don’t even know it…good luck ladies)

So there you have it. It’s New Years Day and have a good laugh. Any other thoughts…experiences with this?

[foolsgoldParticipant 5637]

#1. I’m going to stop sucking Chad’s dick while my husband is at work. (Yeah right)

[hdvrodParticipant 1109]

#6. I’m going to be more introspective and admit when I’m wrong, and never retaliate or bring the issue up again.

Anyway communication, real open communication, is not wanted or even required in a relationship. Women cannot handle fully open and honest communication, plus most perceive it as a weakness on the part of a man. All that is required is catering to her whims, and even then nothing is certain. There is no way to be sure of having a successful relationshit with a woman. MGTaoist

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

#7. I’m going to stop nagging, bitching, whining, complaining, and CONTROLLING.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

NoLongerBlind wrote:

#3- GO TO CHURCH MORE (Ohhhhhhh…this is a BIG ONE! After years on the carousel…cheating…lying..at least 1 abortion…who better than Jesus to make her a born again virgin…LOL)

Aint Nothing Worse than a Born Again HO who can do no wrong, but somehow has done nothing right throughout her life.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

8) more 0 f~~~s given.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[NoLongerBlindParticipant 530]

Oh S~~~…I forgot one:

# Whatever- I WILL NOT ENGAGE IN OR PARTICIPATE IN ANY FORM OF GOSSIP

(OHHHHHHHH…sweetie…GOSSIP IS YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE…You created it…along with SMALL TALK…and all forms of nonsense! How many times do we need to hear…”THAT BITCH SAID WHAT ABOUT ME?”

[GrumpyParticipant]

Meh.
A “statement” of proposed intent, does not a resolution make. (thanks Yoda).
First and foremost it is an act (action) and/or process (an action) to resolve (again an action).
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resolution

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Anonymous 38]

I’m going to admit that men are better at almost everything.

[AFTParticipant 2722]

#) I’m going to think rationally and logically before I do s~~~.

#) I’m going to be aware of the consequences of my actions upon others.

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

[Anonymous 1]

I’m going to take personal responsibility for my actions.

[Author]

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