Could do with some advice ?

[dobieParticipant 100]

I’m 38 always been in relationships and or scoring with chicks hook ups one night stands etc since the age of 14 . I came upon mgtow Philsophy a while back when thrown out into the cold after my fiancée screwed me over and I had to start dating wimmins again seeing what they are like with the glasses off so to speak .

Dated 18 girls in the last year and saw just what total wastegash entitled , boring , selfish, duplicitous c~~~s they are for the most part .

I never had kids or got married I’m a tall good looking white collar guy I’d say to most women I’m a 6-8 depending on preference .

I only realised how much my self esteem and self worth has always come from women’s validation recently .

The thing I miss is not the sex but rather the emotional connection to another human being sure I have my buddies but its different .

How do you guys surpass this basic human need or reconcile this with mgtow philosophy ?

Any help appreciated .

[RoyDalParticipant]

dobie wrote:

I only realised how much my self esteem and self worth has always come from women’s validation recently .

With me it came slowly. I trained myself not to obey my hormonal instincts, my emotions, my desires. After all, those things are not me. Take away any or all, and I am still who I am.

The more this training succeeds, the more free I become.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

get a dog…….

after a few months you won’t miss the emotional connection

keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[CaliParticipant 753]

dobie wrote:

How do you guys surpass this basic human need or reconcile this with mgtow philosophy ?

Any help appreciated .

Many people have a misconception that romantic emotional involvement is a “basic human need”. It’s not. You have merely become accustomed to that rosy feeling of connection (which is often an illusion) when you are with a woman. You must develop principles, something to hold on to within yourself instead of a fleeting warm fuzzy feeling.

If you haven’t met with REAL love and emotional connection from most of these women (and I’m assuming you haven’t, as if you had, at least one of your relationships would have worked out until now), you probably never will. The next logical realization is that your instincts have been tricking you into valuing the emotional “connection” with these women. It will be difficult to get along without it for awhile, but, like an addiction, the longer you stay away from it, the easier it will get.

MGTOWUnited was right when he said to “get a dog”. You will likely experience feelings of loneliness and a lack of fulfillment for a while. These feelings are your basic instincts. You CAN overcome them.

Just remember: you can love people without having romance. Go find some people who need help. Give to them, help them. Maybe go on a humanitarian or missionary trip. I’m telling you, THAT is a real emotional connection, a conviction to help someone without expecting anything in return, and their undying gratitude. You don’t have to do it constantly, but it can still give you that “emotional connection”.

I hear many people say to focus on yourself, and that is important, but focusing on yourself can also include focusing on others, at least to a degree. It truly cannot hurt a man to truly love (not romantically) people around you. It will help you forge connections, it will help you to keep a good attitude, and it will make your heart hunger less for romance.

Just a misogynist virgin hiding away in his mother's basement. Nothing to see here...

[smoque2Participant 3]

honestly I was born with it couldn’t give a s~~~ about affection…. learn to do things by yourself and which ones you can enjoy doing alone…travel, try new hobbies, dote on your nieces, nephews, or god children….do some charity work none of that may sound like fun but you might actually discover what you are really compensating for by seeking the validation of women.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

I disagree with Pvt. MGTOW about emotional connection. I actually seek this out in people, actively. It’s important for me. If I don’t feel a connection, I’m not even going to bother carrying on a conversation with someone.

The trick is not to confuse it with attachment. They are two different things, and it takes a bit of practice to get clear on this. Being connected with someone is a real thing, and is based on an open heart. You can feel love for someone but not be attached to them – I love my sister, but I sure as hell am not attached to her. And so it needs to be with everyone you meet. Be connected if you can, but let them go their own way, and ensure that you are free from attachment so that you can go your own way too. This holds true even in a relations~~~. You can be loving, and yet unattached. Yes it takes practice, but it’s a very healthy way of living, as you give and get the best, but don’t put up with any bulls~~~. For anyone reading who is still in a relationship, try being open, fully present, full of goodwill towards your SO, but absolutely ready to leave at the drop of a hat. That, is unattachment while being connected. For me, it is priceless.

[VettenParticipant 110]

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I disagree with Pvt. MGTOW about emotional connection. I actually seek this out in people, actively. It’s important for me. If I don’t feel a connection, I’m not even going to bother carrying on a conversation with someone.

The trick is not to confuse it with attachment. They are two different things, and it takes a bit of practice to get clear on this. Being connected with someone is a real thing, and is based on an open heart. You can feel love for someone but not be attached to them – I love my sister, but I sure as hell am not attached to her. And so it needs to be with everyone you meet. Be connected if you can, but let them go their own way, and ensure that you are free from attachment so that you can go your own way too. This holds true even in a relations~~~. You can be loving, and yet unattached. Yes it takes practice, but it’s a very healthy way of living, as you give and get the best, but don’t put up with any bulls~~~. For anyone reading who is still in a relationship, try being open, fully present, full of goodwill towards your SO, but absolutely ready to leave at the drop of a hat. That, is unattachment while being connected. For me, it is priceless.

OP,
I know exactly what you are talking about. The longer I’m am on my own though, I more and more realize what I miss is the illusion of what I think I really want. ‘She’ probably is out there somewhere but the odds of us crossing paths are astronomical, me being a realist understand and accept this as fact. So I continue to push forward with only my best interests in mind.

Quietlyquietly,
That is the way I choose to live my life now, getting stronger day by day. Now I do not to let anything or anybody, repeat anything or anybody in my life that I cannot walk from in a heartbeat. They get to own no real-estate within me. Maybe some (not here) think this is being superficial or arrogant but I have been burned and have the scars to prove it. I like to think of it as a self-preservation preventative measure. I know the ‘them’ now and will not repeat past mistakes.

[Elric GreenstoneParticipant 1637]

Ha, ha.

This is all my opinion, obviously. Feel free to tell me to f~~~ off. 🙂

You actually have never had an emotional connection to a woman. What you’ve had are certain chemical receptors in your brain that work with limerence, using corpulins and various other hormones and goodies that women’s bodies, saliva, sweat, vaginal secretions, etc. give off. These receptors have been lit up like a f~~~ing pinball machine because that’s how the lovely biological machines that are us work. Like most males in our society, you have confused “activation of chemical receptors” with “emotional connection”. You were trained to do this.

When you were a child, girls were stupid and boring. Because females are mostly stupid and boring. There was probably a brief period when you were four or five when girls were briefly interesting. Your receptors briefly switched on, for reasons we don’t really understand. Then you hit junior high school, the receptors in your brain turned themselves *fully* on, and girls became *downright goddamn fascinating*. The stupidest crap they said and did became *amazing* and *really important*. Then you go through a couple of the decades of the wringer, you find yourself on this web zone, and are wondering what the f~~~ happened to you. Hate to tell you – you had it right as a little kid. Women are just as stupid and boring as when you were seven.

One useful theory of the wonder that is man – which most religions pretty much work with – is that we’re largely wired as the biological machines we very, very much are to mate for life, make babies a couple of years after finding our soooullmateunicorn, and have large and fulfilling single-sex activities with members of our own sex after said mating that keep us reasonably sane. We’re also supposed to be in charge, with women having a subservient role in society and inferior role in the family. Judaism, Christianity, Confucianism and Islam all agree on this. I don’t know enough about Buddhism or Hinduism to comment on those faiths.

See, after a couple of years of not making babies, both of your bodies are telling you that you’re biologically incompatible and ought to split. If she’s on the pill, her body is telling her that you two are really, really, really f~~~ing incompatible. Also, since war and such take a high toll on normal human societies, it needs to be several or many babies. One or two is not enough for your bodies to say that everything is hunky-dory. Then your chances of staying together are higher. Also note in normal human societies, you don’t have to work with c~~~s, because they’re at home, taxing their abilities to the max by cleaning and cooking and keeping junior from becoming a rubber cement addict. So you get to be in an all-male society all day, then go home to a familial situation where you’re in charge, and you still have lots of male activities (club, lodge, church) to hang out in. She has the same deal. She’s with women and children all day, and has lots of female activities to retreat to. Normal marriage doesn’t have *anything* like the amount of together time we’ve insanely decided is good.

No, we’re f~~~ed as a society. Relationships are not sustainable in the socialist dystopian hell we have created for ourselves. We’ve thrown several thousand years of written human history out the door as irrelevant because we’re such special snowflakes that we’ve decided that a new religion – feminism – is going to overcome actual biology.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah, right.

You’ve never had an actual emotional connection with a chick, because if you did, you’d still be together and being with her wouldn’t have been such a f~~~ing train wreck. You’ve probably had emotional connections with other men, who are probably still your friends. From *decades* back.

What you’ve had is the equivalent of heroin in a universe that tells you that heroin is magical and wonderful and that the highest aspiration of humanity is to stay high as a kite 24/7 even though you’re not wired to do so. You’ve been lied to by everything you’ve read, listened to, and watched that these soooulmateunicorns existed, even though the creators of this media *were almost all divorced*. They were writing wish-fulfillment, sad bastards, and you, like all of us here, fell for it. That’s why it’s such a strong high falling in love and in the early stages of relationship. Because it is a goddamn high. Literally.

Welcome to Outside The Matrix, friend. This is reality, I’m afraid.

"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

dobie wrote:

emotional connection

Have you considered building multiple emotional connections to people you see everyday, as opposed to just a single girl/girlfriend? I enjoy doing this on a regular basis, and some of these connections are quite meaningful – i’m on a first-name basis with my dry cleaner, all the doormen in my building, the chicks that work in my local cafe, the checkout girls at the supermarket, the deli manager, secretary at my dance studio, etc etc.

I’m not interested in building a deep, meaningful-Disney-esque emotional connection with a girlfriend. What i do do, however, is build connections with almost everyone i meet on a regular basis. It doesn’t necessarily have to be deep to start, but when i can chat & bulls~~~ & exchange meaningful banter with 10 people before i even get to the office, that’s fun for me. On the rare occasions i feel lonely, that cures it in an instant. I suppose you could call it traditional community in a way – we’re all part of the same neighborhood.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

I am the opposite of you. I do not need or desire any kind of emotional closeness to a woman. The one and only thing I need from them is sex.
Aside from sex, there is NOTHING that I need a woman for. Nothing.

I no longer have the ability to feel any emotional closeness to a woman, even if I wanted to. Why? Because I no longer hold women in a good light. How can I possibly feel love for someone who I do not have any respect for?

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Emotion clouds the mind. I pretty much kicked emotions into my life. Sure there is some but not with people just circumstances. Men and women used my emotions to manipulated me. These people used my kindness but that is no longer possible.
I don’t feel love my sister or my nieces. I do care about them and because I’m not emotional I can be calm and clear headed. If I was feeling love for them I would feel hurt and perhaps even hurt them without meaning to. I think having compassion is far superior to have feelings for someone even a family member. In reality isn’t not really love but a chemical addiction.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[dobieParticipant 100]

Some solid advice thanks guys

I’ve had dogs before kinda difficult to own one at the moment as a single guy I work long hours but agree they are awesome that story of the gsd made me misty .

I have connections to my friends and family I take care of my pops who is sick etc

No never really had a deep loving connection with a woman they were just like a best friend i was screwing therapist says its due to my dysfunctional childhood relationship with my mother .

Therapist is female

[TheroniusParticipant 975]

I used to think I missed the close mutual emotional connection. Then I realized that, at least for me, it did not actually exist in any real way except within myself. It was, and is, a fantasy, a dream-goal that I was told was not only attainable, but even inevitable (some day the right girl will come along, and you’ll run into her arms and bah blah blah…)
It took a long time to realize it was doomed from the start by the nature of the modern female mind, and my inborn unwillingness to be subjugated. I did not learn to hate women, just to stop looking for the fairy tale. I had and have female friends and lovers, but they are not potential partners anymore, just friends. In giving up the mythical “deep” connection I left a space to be filled, for sure. Over time, I developed an emotional connection with myself that was not strong when I was young, and I now have personal standards that will not allow me to be made to suffer or to feel like a second or third class entity to please the Disney fantasy of some psychotic princess.
I actually now think of some women with greater respect (the ones who EARN it) because I am not measuring them for Cinderella duty, while the ones who do nothing to earn respect are simply not worth my time and are treated with civility as appropriate, but mainly ignored.
As to casual relationships, sex is still one of the most interesting experiences humans can have, and I only get one spin around this existence. I won’t go out never getting any just because most women make it too complicated. F~~~ that. There is still room in my life for the rare woman who just wants to muss the sheets for kicks, with no evaluation as to whether she is a good “prospect” for marriage. She’s not. That classification has been deleted, and there is no such box on the form.

"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin

[AscendedParticipant 698]

You can try a Dakimakura with your favorite (fictional) person printed on it. Those things can be good if you ordered one with a custom picture.

As for emotional attachment, that’s your brain having some chemical reactions, not really what it seems like emotional attachments. I’ll have to dig into science and wikipedia for that kind of thing so I can protect myself from being “fooled” by my scumbag brain >:P.

"We are free to follow our own path. There are those who will take that freedom from us, and too many of you gladly give it. But it is our ability to choose – whatever you think is true – that makes us human. There is no book or teacher to give you the answers, to show you the path. Choose your own way! Do not follow me, or anyone else."

[SOLI2DEParticipant 744]

Thank you for these replies. This was my exact question and I was going to create a topic about it. I’m very new here and I have to make myself not contact this woman. We haven’t even physically met yet after 3 months of constant calls, texts, and video chat(1 month and a half before she released her psycho). My logic knows the truth and I’ve taken the red pill. I deleted her contact info and every picture. It’s letting my emotional connection to the ‘idea’ of her wither and die that is where I’m at right now. Better to go my own way and live.

“Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.” -Proverbs 31:3-

[Y_Participant 4591]

MGTOW is not about living without women – you miss the point.

MGTOW is living for yourself and only yourself as a male – your goals in life are THE priority.

Only then can you be selfless and do great things.

Women are incompatible with this philosophy – you sacrifice who you are permanently.

True freedom is knowing you can only live life to the full f you are in always in control.

If you cannot understand this and need women you are not a MGHOW. Sorry.

[Author]

Posts