Dated 18 girls in the last year and saw just what total wastegash entitled , boring , selfish, duplicitous c~~~s they are for the most part .

I never had kids or got married I’m a tall good looking white collar guy I’d say to most women I’m a 6-8 depending on preference .

I only realised how much my self esteem and self worth has always come from women’s validation recently .

The thing I miss is not the sex but rather the emotional connection to another human being sure I have my buddies but its different .

How do you guys surpass this basic human need or reconcile this with mgtow philosophy ?

Any help appreciated .

I only realised how much my self esteem and self worth has always come from women’s validation recently .

With me it came slowly. I trained myself not to obey my hormonal instincts, my emotions, my desires. After all, those things are not me. Take away any or all, and I am still who I am.

The more this training succeeds, the more free I become.

after a few months you won’t miss the emotional connection

keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy

How do you guys surpass this basic human need or reconcile this with mgtow philosophy ?

Any help appreciated .

Many people have a misconception that romantic emotional involvement is a “basic human need”. It’s not. You have merely become accustomed to that rosy feeling of connection (which is often an illusion) when you are with a woman. You must develop principles, something to hold on to within yourself instead of a fleeting warm fuzzy feeling.

If you haven’t met with REAL love and emotional connection from most of these women (and I’m assuming you haven’t, as if you had, at least one of your relationships would have worked out until now), you probably never will. The next logical realization is that your instincts have been tricking you into valuing the emotional “connection” with these women. It will be difficult to get along without it for awhile, but, like an addiction, the longer you stay away from it, the easier it will get.

MGTOWUnited was right when he said to “get a dog”. You will likely experience feelings of loneliness and a lack of fulfillment for a while. These feelings are your basic instincts. You CAN overcome them.

Just remember: you can love people without having romance. Go find some people who need help. Give to them, help them. Maybe go on a humanitarian or missionary trip. I’m telling you, THAT is a real emotional connection, a conviction to help someone without expecting anything in return, and their undying gratitude. You don’t have to do it constantly, but it can still give you that “emotional connection”.

I hear many people say to focus on yourself, and that is important, but focusing on yourself can also include focusing on others, at least to a degree. It truly cannot hurt a man to truly love (not romantically) people around you. It will help you forge connections, it will help you to keep a good attitude, and it will make your heart hunger less for romance.

The trick is not to confuse it with attachment. They are two different things, and it takes a bit of practice to get clear on this. Being connected with someone is a real thing, and is based on an open heart. You can feel love for someone but not be attached to them – I love my sister, but I sure as hell am not attached to her. And so it needs to be with everyone you meet. Be connected if you can, but let them go their own way, and ensure that you are free from attachment so that you can go your own way too. This holds true even in a relations~~~. You can be loving, and yet unattached. Yes it takes practice, but it’s a very healthy way of living, as you give and get the best, but don’t put up with any bulls~~~. For anyone reading who is still in a relationship, try being open, fully present, full of goodwill towards your SO, but absolutely ready to leave at the drop of a hat. That, is unattachment while being connected. For me, it is priceless.

I disagree with Pvt. MGTOW about emotional connection. I actually seek this out in people, actively. It’s important for me. If I don’t feel a connection, I’m not even going to bother carrying on a conversation with someone.

The trick is not to confuse it with attachment. They are two different things, and it takes a bit of practice to get clear on this. Being connected with someone is a real thing, and is based on an open heart. You can feel love for someone but not be attached to them – I love my sister, but I sure as hell am not attached to her. And so it needs to be with everyone you meet. Be connected if you can, but let them go their own way, and ensure that you are free from attachment so that you can go your own way too. This holds true even in a relations~~~. You can be loving, and yet unattached. Yes it takes practice, but it’s a very healthy way of living, as you give and get the best, but don’t put up with any bulls~~~. For anyone reading who is still in a relationship, try being open, fully present, full of goodwill towards your SO, but absolutely ready to leave at the drop of a hat. That, is unattachment while being connected. For me, it is priceless.

OP,
I know exactly what you are talking about. The longer I’m am on my own though, I more and more realize what I miss is the illusion of what I think I really want. ‘She’ probably is out there somewhere but the odds of us crossing paths are astronomical, me being a realist understand and accept this as fact. So I continue to push forward with only my best interests in mind.

Quietlyquietly,
That is the way I choose to live my life now, getting stronger day by day. Now I do not to let anything or anybody, repeat anything or anybody in my life that I cannot walk from in a heartbeat. They get to own no real-estate within me. Maybe some (not here) think this is being superficial or arrogant but I have been burned and have the scars to prove it. I like to think of it as a self-preservation preventative measure. I know the ‘them’ now and will not repeat past mistakes.

This is all my opinion, obviously. Feel free to tell me to f~~~ off. 🙂

You actually have never had an emotional connection to a woman. What you’ve had are certain chemical receptors in your brain that work with limerence, using corpulins and various other hormones and goodies that women’s bodies, saliva, sweat, vaginal secretions, etc. give off. These receptors have been lit up like a f~~~ing pinball machine because that’s how the lovely biological machines that are us work. Like most males in our society, you have confused “activation of chemical receptors” with “emotional connection”. You were trained to do this.

When you were a child, girls were stupid and boring. Because females are mostly stupid and boring. There was probably a brief period when you were four or five when girls were briefly interesting. Your receptors briefly switched on, for reasons we don’t really understand. Then you hit junior high school, the receptors in your brain turned themselves *fully* on, and girls became *downright goddamn fascinating*. The stupidest crap they said and did became *amazing* and *really important*. Then you go through a couple of the decades of the wringer, you find yourself on this web zone, and are wondering what the f~~~ happened to you. Hate to tell you – you had it right as a little kid. Women are just as stupid and boring as when you were seven.

One useful theory of the wonder that is man – which most religions pretty much work with – is that we’re largely wired as the biological machines we very, very much are to mate for life, make babies a couple of years after finding our soooullmateunicorn, and have large and fulfilling single-sex activities with members of our own sex after said mating that keep us reasonably sane. We’re also supposed to be in charge, with women having a subservient role in society and inferior role in the family. Judaism, Christianity, Confucianism and Islam all agree on this. I don’t know enough about Buddhism or Hinduism to comment on those faiths.

See, after a couple of years of not making babies, both of your bodies are telling you that you’re biologically incompatible and ought to split. If she’s on the pill, her body is telling her that you two are really, really, really f~~~ing incompatible. Also, since war and such take a high toll on normal human societies, it needs to be several or many babies. One or two is not enough for your bodies to say that everything is hunky-dory. Then your chances of staying together are higher. Also note in normal human societies, you don’t have to work with c~~~s, because they’re at home, taxing their abilities to the max by cleaning and cooking and keeping junior from becoming a rubber cement addict. So you get to be in an all-male society all day, then go home to a familial situation where you’re in charge, and you still have lots of male activities (club, lodge, church) to hang out in. She has the same deal. She’s with women and children all day, and has lots of female activities to retreat to. Normal marriage doesn’t have *anything* like the amount of together time we’ve insanely decided is good.

No, we’re f~~~ed as a society. Relationships are not sustainable in the socialist dystopian hell we have created for ourselves. We’ve thrown several thousand years of written human history out the door as irrelevant because we’re such special snowflakes that we’ve decided that a new religion – feminism – is going to overcome actual biology.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah, right.

You’ve never had an actual emotional connection with a chick, because if you did, you’d still be together and being with her wouldn’t have been such a f~~~ing train wreck. You’ve probably had emotional connections with other men, who are probably still your friends. From *decades* back.

What you’ve had is the equivalent of heroin in a universe that tells you that heroin is magical and wonderful and that the highest aspiration of humanity is to stay high as a kite 24/7 even though you’re not wired to do so. You’ve been lied to by everything you’ve read, listened to, and watched that these soooulmateunicorns existed, even though the creators of this media *were almost all divorced*. They were writing wish-fulfillment, sad bastards, and you, like all of us here, fell for it. That’s why it’s such a strong high falling in love and in the early stages of relationship. Because it is a goddamn high. Literally.

Welcome to Outside The Matrix, friend. This is reality, I’m afraid.

emotional connection

Have you considered building multiple emotional connections to people you see everyday, as opposed to just a single girl/girlfriend? I enjoy doing this on a regular basis, and some of these connections are quite meaningful – i’m on a first-name basis with my dry cleaner, all the doormen in my building, the chicks that work in my local cafe, the checkout girls at the supermarket, the deli manager, secretary at my dance studio, etc etc.

I’m not interested in building a deep, meaningful-Disney-esque emotional connection with a girlfriend. What i do do, however, is build connections with almost everyone i meet on a regular basis. It doesn’t necessarily have to be deep to start, but when i can chat & bulls~~~ & exchange meaningful banter with 10 people before i even get to the office, that’s fun for me. On the rare occasions i feel lonely, that cures it in an instant. I suppose you could call it traditional community in a way – we’re all part of the same neighborhood.

I no longer have the ability to feel any emotional closeness to a woman, even if I wanted to. Why? Because I no longer hold women in a good light. How can I possibly feel love for someone who I do not have any respect for?