Colonoscopy advice for those coming up to 50

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

1. Schedule procedure at earliest time in the day as possible.

2. Find the closest motel/hotel to where your procedure will be done. Preferably walking diatance. Make sure it has refrigerator, etc.

3. Reserve a room for day before and the day of procedure.

4. Arrive at motel with food and drink. Bananas, sandwiches, etc. Place them in refrigerator.

5. That evening take the drink stuff as directed and stay close to bathroom.

6. In the morning go to the procedure. It isn’t do everything in a surgery type room. Typically, it is a large room with draped stalls. There will be tons of women asking you questions for legal reasons etc. You lay in your side and they administer anesthesia. 5 minutes later you wake up.

7. You wait a bit until you are released.

8. You walk out of facility and you are hungry. I mean hungry. Like you have nothing in your system.

9. Go to your motel room and eat bananas and drink fluid. Chill a bit and relax. Checkout comes fast enough.

Or, poop at your place and clean it up afterwards.

Personally, I prefer to check out of the motel and go home fresh as a daisy.

Good luck

Peace brothers

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

I’ve had it done a few times, there’s not much to it. I make it a rule that know one sees me until I wake fully up. Cause I say weird s~~~ when I’m coming out of anesthesia.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Me too, except I always say the same thing, “well, blow me, I’ll pay you later”

It’s awkward because every so often a male nurse is present.

Peace brothers

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Heh, I especially like the place on the form where they grade your canal cleanliness.

(While in recovery I took the time to read my file)

My female general doctor warned me that if I didn’t follow directions and wasn’t clean they would abort inspection. She likes to give me s~~~. Says that I have trouble with authority figures. I say that it is because every time I visit her she takes an organ or probes one.

I’m actually friends with her husband. He retired as a medic for special forces and is now a surgeon. He can’t risk using his hands doing home repairs. Calls a few of us to help him out. All we ask of him is that he have beer and morphine ready.

Peace brothers

[Anonymous 0]

Just a few words:
GET IT DONE
The alternative could be a lot worse. Cancer.

[Author]

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