'Chewbacca mom,' her family receive full scholarships to Southeastern University

[Binary LogicParticipant 2351]

Gentleman,
Excuse me in advance for the vane language that immediately follows this line.. AHEM (Clears throat)… WHAT IN THE BLU F~~~ IS THIS S~~~?!?! Why in the f~~~ do you get a gd full ride scholarship for your WHOLE FAMILY BY contributing absolutely jack s~~~ to society. I mean, really?!?! For dawning a Chewbacca mask? Not for enabling time or space travel, not for curing some rare disease, or building something amazing.. for wearing a mask. I pay for my schooling right the fuk out of pocket. Full price, no tuition assistance. Zero. Zilch. Nuffin’. So you’re telling me all I gotta do is dawn a mask and record myself laughing? Well, just sign me right the !@#$ up. Who do you want me to be? Green Lantern? Green Hornet? Batman? Hell, I’ll be a Green-hornet-ninja-turtle-BatPool if it means free benefits. Just tell me..

Seriously though.. WTF?! I…. I can’t even….

Stupid Fox News story…

Funny, isn't it? How women thrive on a mans time, attention and resources, while simultaneously telling him he isn't enough...

[UnicronParticipant 752]

She’ll be Hildebeests VP pick next. We really are living in the age of mediocrity.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

Why do you still expect sanity and fairness from western society?

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Binary Logic wrote:

I pay for my schooling right the fuk out of pocket. Full price, no tuition assistance. Zero. Zilch. Nuffin’.

Want to get really p~~~ed off?

That dream act bulls~~~ Emperor Obama and the democrats keep pushing gives out full rides for breaking the law. At least putting on a wookie mask is legal.

[Anonymous 6]

She doesn’t need a mask she already looks like Jabba the Hutt.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

It’s just a calculated move for SEU marketing team – to use something already viral to promote their brand

On a sidenote:

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[UnicronParticipant 752]

Chewbacca Mom is charging fans $20 for autographs

Remember Chewbacca Mom? Of course you do — she’s the one who put on that Star Wars mask in the parking lot of a Kohl’s and laughed and laughed. And all of the 156 million people who’ve now watched the video laughed and laughed with her.

Chewbacca Mom’s short film was surprising, endearing, infectious. She mixed the right ingredients and followed the recipe for a viral sensation. And, like any viral sensation worth his or her salt, Chewbacca Mom (her real name is Candace Payne, but we all know what the better moniker is here) has wasted no time cashing in on what she cooked up: Time estimates that she’s made close to $500,000 in gifts, including, weirdly, college scholarships for her whole family.

There must be millions of would-be Chewbacca Mom out there trying to recreate her success. They’re probably buying goofy masks, sitting in their cars, cracking themselves up, and hoping to bottle internet lightning as we speak (those efforts will undoubtedly prove futile, because the thing about lightning is that you never know when it’s going to strike).

But I digress. Because the strangest part of all this is that TMZ reports Chewbacca Mom is now charging fans for autographs. At least she did at the Dallas Fan Expo, where she signed her John Hanc~~~ for 20 bucks a pop in a booth next to that of actor Jack Gleeson, who plays Joffrey on Game of Thrones. Granted, some of the proceeds from her signature went to charity, but that implies that she pocketed what didn’t.

There are two ways to think about this. One could argue that Chewbacca Mom shouldn’t charge the people, since the people made her. But the counterargument is that she’s not wrong to try to get that paper while she can. Because given how heavily she’s saturated the market…

Chewbacca Mom is charging fans $20 for autographs

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

OK, the free Star Wars gifts from Kohl’s made sense to me because she gave them a shoutout and helped their sales. Getting an award and a signed certificate from George Lucas would be understandable as well. But college scholarships? Are you freakin’ kidding me? That’s too much of a reward for a silly internet video! Especially since so many college students are either in debt or struggling to pay for tuition and books. Chewbacca Mom’s kids will get a free college education w/o winning a spelling bee, getting an award for a science project, training to become great athletes, or studying for the SAT. Now that just freakin’ sucks for the rest of the kids.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[AnthonyParticipant 2281]

This is pretty s~~~ty in of itself. Women get free s~~~ FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

It just boggles my mind how far the vagina pass goes even if the woman is a land whale like the “Chewbacca mom.”

Once you have a Fleshlight real vaginas become worthless.

[Author]

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