Can friends with benefits work out?

[WolveParticipant 191]

Hey guys,
I am quite curious as an inexperienced fellow in relationships does the idea of friends with benefits have any “Benefits” to it/ does it work?
I do find myself not trusting women enough to be in a relationship but not as paranoid that I can’t just get along with them as people (some of them, mainly the ones who stay out of the female hive mind) so I was curious what is your opinion on this.
To clarify I am not planning on any kind of friends with benefits relationship but I just got curious about it.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

You can be friends with whoever you want. Just make you have hard lines to not cross. Otherwise you will be doing favors for her.

Female friends manipulate as much as lovers

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

FWB likely doesn’t work out long term.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[UntamedParticipant]

It could be possible to get by for some time being with a t~~~ that just wants to be friends with benefits if not for the high risks of diseases and drama, wasted time and money. In the end, bitches always get manipulative and take out of you way more than they put in, friend or not.
Weemins look at men as some kind of workhorse that ranks between the dog and the pig, some dumb creatures whose sole pathetic existence is to serve them without hurting their feeeeeeeeelings.
Imagine a sign on every female that says: Danger – Combustible. Highly Flammable. Toxic. Minimum Safe Distance – 10m

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[WolveParticipant 191]

Well friends with benefits is of course not meant to last, after all if you would be expecting it to last you wouldn’t be afraid of marriage either (And everyone here knows how marriage turns out) there’s gotta be an end to it but clear lines is a good point though that counts not just for women though more important there it is something you need for everything in your life I would think.
Are there any positives to it?

[WolveParticipant 191]

Just curious can you think of any positives as well? Or do you think there are really none compared to a normal relationship? and if so what?

[Anonymous 25]

What I’ve found works for me is find out what your homeymoon period is and then dump them at that point and find a new one. For me it’s about 3 months. That way they never get on your nerves. I only pick ones that can behave themselves for that amount of time too, with no crazy s~~~. first sign of anything crazy and they are gone

[WolveParticipant 191]

Oh? And that works for you, you had no huge problems you couldn’t deal with?

[narwhalParticipant]

I agree with Machiavelli. Every relationship I’ve ever had has been 1 date, 2 dates, a month, or 6 months. Heck, sometimes I think I married my ex wife because after 6 months, I wasn’t ready to move on.

As for FWB, a good situation hasn’t really presented itself. There was the one who had decent personality, big t~~~, but ugly elsewhere. She offered me FWB when I said I was interested in dating. I considered it briefly, but rejected the offer. Then she admitted it she wanted more from me, but was hoping this would get her foot in the door so to speak.

There was the crazy woman…she just way to risky to be around period.

I recently dated a woman who I thought would have been great for that. We had a few dates and I realized I only really liked her (and liked her a lot) when she was drunk and horny. She always got horny when she was drunk, so it was theoretically easy. She didn’t want to settle for FWB, which didn’t make much sense to me considering her past and other options presenting themselves. That would have been great as the sex was wonderful, but no.

Maybe that is better termed ‘f~~~ buddy’ though, as I had no interest friendships with these women. I think it could work, but the situation has to be right.

Ok. Then do it.

[OldBillParticipant]

Wolve wrote:

does the idea of friends with benefits have any “Benefits” to it/ does it work?

Short Answer: No.

Long Answer: No, because the idea of just what the “benefit” in the “friendship” is will be different for a woman than it is for a man. While a man will sex as the benefit for both parties, a woman sees sex as something she is giving in return for some other benefit at a later date. F~~~ her and she’ll believe she is “due” something other than her next orgasm.

Nothing in life is truly free and women have never believed in reciprocity.

That being said, I’ve had a multiyear relationship with a woman that can best be described as “acquaintances with benefits.” She lectures at various universities and visits one near me a few times a year. I’ll get a call on my business cell and, if my schedule allows, we’ll meet for a meal, occasionally a play or concert, and end the night in her hotel room. I know relatively little about her – she’s long divorced with two grown children and has a doctorate – and she knows even less about me.

We are not friends in any sense of the word. We’re just two middle-aged people who f~~~ 3 or 4 times a year.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

OldBill wrote:

We are not friends in any sense of the word. We’re just two middle-aged people who f~~~ 3 or 4 times a year.

Livin’ the dream brother.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Well, I’d say no. For the most part, a woman will be friends with you in order to get favors and utility out of you. She’ll send dirty texts, always be flirting, be a tease, but will never actually put her money where her mouth is. There’s a reason she’s your friend, and not your girlfriend. She’s getting one over on you, using you for her purposes, usually a one way street. She needs her car fixed, she’s moving and needs your truck and your strength, she needs someone to talk to(us as an emotional tampon), ect. She’s using you like she would a boyfriend, but she isn’t even having sex with you. This can be part of the friendzone. Ask her to do something, anything, no matter how small. Odds are she won’t do it. She’s using you.

However, when you do manage to bag one, it will be on her terms again, but you still get to f~~~ her. Usually, this is just so she can feel attractive and wanted, you’re there to fall back on and be used to cheer her up if she’s broke up with her bf, or whatever. However, it usually turns into a bf gf relationship without either of you ever really acknowledging it. She’ll get jealous or you will. And it can’t ever really work.

Best advice I can give is to f~~~ em and chuck em. One night stands, no names no games. That way there’s not all this complicated annoying s~~~ you have to deal with. Although, saying that, I’m even backing off on that too, and avoiding women more in general.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

F~~~ buddy is just for……..F~~~ing!

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[WolveParticipant 191]

Some great points thank you, there is more to look out for in a relationship than I initially thought I guess naive as I may be.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Hey Wolve, i agree with Machiavelli on this one:

Anonymous wrote:

homeymoon period is and then dump them at that point and find a new one. For me it’s about 3 months

For me, prior to 3 months – she’s still on good behavior, everything in the bedroom is still new/interesting. But right around 3 months is when they really start pushing on your boundaries pretty hard, and at that point:

value of the energy i expend pushing her back > value of the sex

So it’s time to end it. I will say that i’m always up front about what i’m willing to give, what i expect in return, and what my boundaries & dealbreakers are. She doesn’t have to like it, but she has to accept it if we’re going to keep something fun going. If she does, that’s cool, i’ll take her out on dates one night every couple weeks or so. It’ll be sweet & fun & passionate & all that.

Just remember no woman’ll ever be happy with what she has. So she’ll keep reaching for more. Hence you holding firm to your boundaries. And why you’ll have to end it.

Oh, and for f~~~s sake, if you’re going to do that, get a vasectomy. One psycho-emotional move on her part to “control” the relations~~~ & you’re completely f~~~ed.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

OldBill wrote:

We are not friends in any sense of the word. We’re just two middle-aged people who f~~~ 3 or 4 times a year.

OldBill, dropping wisdom & achievement again & again. This is pretty pimp: enjoying the good life on your own terms. Well done OldBill.

[HitmanParticipant]

old bill got it right as usual.
acquaintances with sex is really the ideal.
i have a similar thing going and have done the same in the past.
one woman, great body, would give me a haircut and a bj for 100 bucks every three weeks or so..the money kept it from being anything more than business for a while..
the bj’s led to f~~~ing ,that lasted about a year and then she started having “feelings” for me.
then it was time to go to the barber shop again instead ..
find it, f~~~ it , forget it.

[OldBillParticipant]

Hitman wrote:

…that lasted about a year and then she started having “feelings” for me.

You, Matt, and Machiavelli all got it right about pulling the ripcord once the honeymoon period is over. You’ve got to be bloody minded about these things. You’ve got to walk away before the trouble starts.

My “acquaintance with benefits” situation has run about five years now, but we’ve hooked up maybe 15 times in that period. There have been times she called and I wasn’t available. There have also been times when she’s been in town and hasn’t called for whatever reason. None of those “misses” mean much to me and, if she stopped calling, that wouldn’t mean much to me either.

So, I threw a hump into her a dozen or so times. It was fun, but it wasn’t important.

Remember that line DeNiro had in Heat? Something like: “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you’re not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.” That’s the attitude to keep in mind when you’re intimate with women.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

What’s the point of a friendship if there aren’t any benefits? And I don’t mean sex, I mean benefits in general.

I have a number of female friends with benefits. Some are sex friends, yes, but a couple are museum friends, some are movie friends, one’s a rock concert friend, another is a classical concert friend, a bunch are climbing friends, motorcycle friends, and so on. And they’re not all mutually exclusive to their categories. None of them are what I’d consider “help me move a couch” friends, though a few are “come pick me up if my bike breaks down” friends. All in all, they’re all pretty good friends.

But there’s no way in hell I’m going to impregnate any of them, or move in with any of them, or marry any of them, or make any other such stupid mistake. If one of them decides she wants something more like that, and is willing to sacrifice our friendship for it, well then that’s her problem, not mine.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

I have a FWB. We’ve been friends for 5 years, and f~~~ing for most of that. I’ve had other women in that time, and when it’s over, me and my FWB get together again. I have absolutely no intention of anything more than a conversation and sex, and I’ve made it abundantly clear to her.

February 29th coming up, and guess what she says…..”I know that you’ll say no, but if I were to ask you……”

There might be a magical line in your head that is easy to maintain, but it isn’t there in her head.

[Author]

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