I found out today that my mother has breast cancer. I’ve got barely any details beyond the fact that it spread from the duct to the outer tissue, (invasive ductal carcinoma). We won’t know more until she gets an appointment with her doctor Monday. This past week has been filled with anxiety as we were waiting for the biopsy result, so this just confirms more waiting with a higher degree of concern.
I’m writing this in an attempt to turn this into some sort of inspiration for some of the men out there dealing with primarily “the void” or occasional loneliness or emptiness that so often causes us to slip a bit back into blue pill thinking. While I haven’t had that experience recently, I do believe moments like this (experiencing true concern for a loved one) are what snaps us back to reality; the reality that the world can be an unforgiving place full of landmines, both human and inanimate. It is also sometimes a very short journey for some as the clock is always ticking. I could look back and count the number of times I obsessed on filling the void or my own disillusionment with the company of the quickest female that I can find and I can only shake my head at the realization that something as simple as good health is a gift that exceeds all other value. Right now, as s~~~ty as I feel, I have a certain clarity that is rare. Just a normal day is pretty damn good fellas; and you only get so many of em.
My fascination of gender biodiversity has caused me to think alot about the concept of love lately. As a MGTOW, I reject the concept of romantic love, which I equate to no more than an exchange of resources. This is often defined as glorified prostitution and I can’t think of a better parallel. But I will say this, love definitely exists in some noble form. I believe it can be defined in some ways the opposite of romantic love, in which the only exchange is selflessness. In this form, there is no tally of what is owed from one person to another; it is just given for reasons that defy logic (and likely constitute a biological drive that we don’t quite understand.) What I’m describing here is actually familial or (blood) love, which is real. However, as we discuss this kind of love, it only draws attention to just how much is lacking in romantic love. For example, your elderly grandmother cannot offer you any real value but her love back. We accept this without question and assist her needs because familial love requires no mutual exchange. Compare that to “romantic” love, an equal exchange of resources (theoretically far from 50:50, yes I know) is quickly compromised if one of the two (usually the man) say, loses his legs. In most cases, the remaining “love” is merely societal pressure to stay with that person and continue investing in them, something that is unlikely even to occur today.
So I guess what my point here is sometimes we lose ourselves and forget why we went MGTOW in the first place. And while we all have our unique reasons, look no further in today’s society than the stark contrast between familial (actual) love and “romantic” love, to see why we opted out. Furthermore, let my situation put some perspective out there, that there are worse feelings than nothingness. Worry, concern and anxiety about serious issues are something that we will all encounter in our short time here. Do not waste your time moaning about boredom, because I can assure you, you may miss that feeling later and regret not putting it to good use. Situations change on a dime and without warning. Boredom does not actually exist without you letting it.
Not reading this to garner sympathy. This could be quite treatable or quite a serious, so I wouldn’t want to exaggerate a situation with so many unknowns; but I did have some of these thoughts that I figured could serve as a helpful perspective to some of you guys walking through tough times. It was also therapeutic to put it to use. Hopefully I placed it in the right forum.
Jim01 2 years, 7 months ago.
