Bad neighbours…

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

A bit off topic for this website… but I think I would get more reasonable advice here than on reddit etc. So here’s the story:

Apartment building in relatively cheap neighbourhood. Poor noise isolation. My neighbours upstairs have a lot of kids… 4 in one family and 5 in the other. No discipline from the parents although they have stay-at-home moms, so it’s pretty noisy after the kids get back from school. A lot of door slamming that’s really annoying. But I put up with it.

A new guy moved in this year. Makes lots of noise on most nights. Initially I thought he was unemployed and drinking so I talked to another neighbour and we sent a couple of complaint letters to the owner. The owner is a bank that apparently doesn’t really care about what’s going on here as long as we pay the rent, so they just sent 2 notification letters to everybody saying to keep the noise down. Of course nothing has changed.

But here’s the thing. I’m pretty sure the guy is a drug dealer. I’ve seen him making an exchange on a street corner when I cam late from work one night. After that he came back to the building not far behind me so I think he knows I saw him. Since I kept track of what he’s doing and he’s making 3-4 such short trips almost every night after 1:00 am. Normally I wouldn’t care, but:
He makes a lot of noise when he leaves and comes, waking me up. Sometimes argues loudly on the phone at night. He sometimes brings shady folks home, I think they use or at least get drunk since they always make a mess. And I think he knows I saw him that night, so he might also suspect I sent the noise complaints. I’m thinking that if he ever gets busted, he might think it was me who turned him in and his friends would come for payback.

I’m pretty sure it would be best for me to move. Damn it, moving is going to cost me a lot of money. My family (who don’t live here, they’re in another city) said I’m overreacting, but if not I should talk to the police. I think that’s bad advice. Even an anonymous tip is risky.

What do you think? Just move ASAP? Should I send an anonymous tip after I move or just let it be? Any other ideas?

Thanks!

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

xlrsnbrg wrote:

Just move ASAP?

These are not bad neighbors, they are potentially DANGEROUS neighbors.

You don’t want him and/or his customers as enemies. It’s not worth the money you’re saving on rent to potentially jeopardize your safety, or even have to let the daily thoughts take up space in your head.

I assume you can afford to move, so do it ASAP.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[xenonParticipant 2007]

I picked up an excellent tip not so long ago here. Can’t remember who it was that first posted this advice, but thank you. Listen to your instincts. They tell you when you are being put in a dangerous situation. When you feel something is going on you don’t like, whether in a relations~~~ or not, there is a reason your feeling it. Looking back in retrospect, I knew every time when something was amiss with a gf or wife, I just wouldn’t admit it to myself. That nasty feeling in your gut is almost always correct. Listen to it.

[BoarParticipant]

Move and do not look back.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Peace and quite is priceless.

Plan your move well.

Spend some time at the next place before you decide to move.

Try to get corner location, etc. This means you may have to wait, etc.

Most people do not spend the time exploring, they just react.

Peace brothers

[MonkeyMindParticipant 5340]

Try ear plugs when you sleep and just avoid him apart from small talk if you bump into him.

Also, don’t get involved if there’s trouble. Leave the cops to deal with it. Plus, you’d be suprised how many neighbours will was their hands of a problem if they think somebody else will take the flack for it. Don’t be that guy unless you’re sure you’ll get some solidarity.

Drug dealers normally have enemies so he’d probaly be looking at other people to blame if he gets busted by the cops rather than someone he rarely communicates with or has problems from.

If you still can’t find peace in your own home, it’s probably worth thinking about moving. Life’s too short.

[Capslok SpelczechParticipant 108]

xenon wrote:

I picked up an excellent tip not so long ago here. Can’t remember who it was that first posted this advice, but thank you. Listen to your instincts. They tell you when you are being put in a dangerous situation.

Agree–listen to your instincts. Intelligent people often continually wait for more information before executing decisions. Problem is, they’re observant, and there’s always more information coming in, so they’re ALWAYS revising their analysis. The perfect decision, delivered five minutes too late, is worthless.

I try to establish a decision threshold (e.g., three warning signs; green, yellow, red; etc.) before I actually need it. The problem with the proverbial point of no return is that we rarely recognize it when we cross it. If you have the time, money, and resources, I say pack your gear, calculate a back-azimuth, and move your feet left/right/left in rapid succession.

"Higgins: Magnum, feed the lads, would you? There are steaks in the freezer. [Magnum makes an excited face] Very well, you can have one too."

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

Thanks, good advice, needed to hear that. Already on ear plugs, it helps a lot although I can still wake up on louder noises (door slammed, dropped objects etc). Safety is a concern however. And indeed the issue appears to be not very urgent so I can take the time to find a good place.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Like others have mentioned, listen to your instincts.

You’re in a poor neighborhood, you suspect he’s dealing based on his actions, so it seems like that’s the case.

I had a house in a lower class part of town and the neighbors were drug users. They didn’t deal, but a dude would stop by their house once or twice a week with a backpack, then leave after a few minutes. One random Friday night I thought someone let off firecrackers, they were gun shots. 3 shots, then 5 shots a few seconds later. I moved into an apartment so I’m paying rent and a mortgage now. I’m working on selling the house.

If you have the means then look for a place to move. I didn’t want to sacrifice money for safety but I feel better now that I did.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Keep to your self; don’t was your time with the cops you’ll only be setting yourself up as a target–Often cops use these low level guys as informants so you would loose your anonymity.

Advice buy a gun and learn to use it.

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

The place you are in sounds shady as f~~~, you really only have 2 options. The first is to just confront him and tell him to quite the noise. I had a upstairs neighbor who played f~~~ing dubstep at all times of the night pretty much every f~~~en day. I did the right thing first by calling the landlords and cops etc but some people just do not give a f~~~ so me and some friends went and had a ‘knock and talk’ with him and it stopped that day. The other option may cost you some cash now but think about the long term benefits and peace of mind you will get from getting around a shady place like that.

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[Veritech AceParticipant 699]

FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Yes, definitely move. I guarantee with all that noise, the guy is a drug dealer. If you can afford it, rent a house; apartment living absolutely sucks! If you can, move outside of the city and commute to work. If you can’t afford it, move to a city where you can.

[TriviumParticipant 1029]

I’ve tried dealing with bad neighbors like a reasonable person in the past unfortunately what makes them bad neighbors usually also makes them very unreasonable people that literally don’t give a s~~~ about what you have to say. Some even escalate their bulls~~~ because they take pleasure in knowing they can p~~~ you off.

If you can move, you move. If you only have one bad neighbor it’s worth talking to him to see if they just haven’t had a s~~~ty life and all they need is someone to just give em a nudge and keep an eye out for them (I had a neighbor like that) but if that one is a woman or you have multiple s~~~ty neighbors you just need to get the hell out of there.

"Listen to all, Follow none"

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