Back in these forums – am I going crazy?

[Non ServiamParticipant 91]

Hey everyone,

I joined this site back in 2015. I’ve always kind of been here reading other posts but I’m back posting here again because I can’t take the arguments I play out inside my head with people I don’t like (especially people I work with) so I’m going to start posting here again for cathartic reasons.

My job is a pretty sweet and easy gig but the people I work with are very nosy and continuously harass me about getting married and some even allude to me being gay because I never talk about dating, having a girl friend or plan on getting married. Of course I realize that they are only trying to manipulate me so they can validate their own choices in life, but it wears me down over time. I also think that it is an attempt to trap me in that company – if I get married, take on a huge mortgage for a big house in suberbia, have children and spend every bit of my money left over keeping up with the Jones’ I will need my employer more.

My life isn’t all bad. Aside from the small one bed room condo I live in, I have zero debt. I paid for my schooling up front, I managed to find employment in my field (which allows me to be creative and I spend most of the day working on getting better at my craft), my job doesn’t pay a whole lot but I have enough to save some money every month, I have a killer home studio to produce music with (and to make money on the side doing), I’ve managed to travel to several different countries (one time business class) and I’m in the midst of starting my own online business.

With all that said, I have crazy anxiety all the time. I find myself fighting with people I know inside my head over arguments that haven’t even happened yet. I can’t stand people having other opinions from mine and I often hold a grudge forever if I feel like I have been humiliated. In 2016 I blew off almost all of my friends because despite living in Canada – I supported Donald Trump in the elections and I realized that they were all too far gone into the hysterical left wing “you’re a nazi” mentality to ever find any reconciliation with. I have one friend left who is a little bit crazy and I only talk to every 2-3 months. I’m 33 and I’ve only had two girlfriends in my entire life, one in high school who turned out to be a compulsive liar and one last year who despite being more traditional (she’s Indian) had some serious issues due to an arranged marriage that fell apart due to the guy already being married and was in it for the dowry. I’m a good looking guy and I have given more women the cold shoulder than I have ever received as well as people who have just wanted to be my friend. I did this to make them feel the rejection I thought I would end up receiving eventually.

I have gotten to a decent place in life, far better than a good chunk of people my age but it took a tremendous sacrifice. I’ve never had a real social life. Part of me argues that there was no other way, but another part of me can’t ever rest and is always screaming inside for a hunger I continuously suppress. Female skin is narcotic and the older I get – it becomes more of an insatiable desire. I have tried everything I can think of outside of giving it all up and living in the mountains. Biology can’t be stopped and because I have repressed it so much – I have become very resentful. I don’t know if MGTOW is the answer for me but at the same time it is all I know. I always feel like an enemy.

[bladeParticipant]

Non Serviam wrote:

supported Donald Trump in the elections and I realized that they were all too far gone into the hysterical left wing “you’re a nazi” mentality

Welcome bro

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[HitmanParticipant]

you are here for a reason.
self preservation .

[Anonymous 42]

You’re normal, they’re gynocentric (not normal). It’s okay to feel out of place in a world so hostile to men. Your preemptive strikes on people are only hyper-self-defense, normal for a man with a heightened sense of self awareness.

There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s the ass kissing bent over world you live in. I also have zero tolerance for manipulation and bulls~~~.

A woman’s flesh is a drug I haven’t partaken of for a long long time and I’m better off for it!

I hope you can sort things out for the sake of your own happiness and well being. That’s the best we can do given the situation…

[bstoffParticipant 4863]

If you can calmly explain to people that you enjoy your freedom and don’t want to ruin it with marriage/relationship, that should be enough to satisfy them.

If they aren’t satisfied with your answer they never will be.
You don’t owe them an explanation if you’re happy.

Tell them to f~~~ off and enjoy their slavery.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Nop, you are not crazy.

It will always be the same bulls~~~.

Take 0 f~~~s given twice a day, and call me in the morning.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[joetechParticipant]

They’re jealous of you. If they want to pretend you’re gay for their own validation I’d laugh at them, then report anyone who made disparaging remarks about gays to HR. They’ll stop talking to you pretty quick. In the mean time you get to watch these people work, get divorced, and struggle. They’re never going to like you. You have it too easy. Stupid people are always jealous of smart people. Work smarter, not harder my dad always said. You’re doing fine. F~~~ those Bozos.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

You and I have very similar lives. Welcome back.

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

Non Serviam wrote:

My life isn’t all bad. Aside from the small one bed room condo I live in, I have zero debt. I paid for my schooling up front, I managed to find employment in my field (which allows me to be creative and I spend most of the day working on getting better at my craft), my job doesn’t pay a whole lot but I have enough to save some money every month, I have a killer home studio to produce music with (and to make money on the side doing), I’ve managed to travel to several different countries (one time business class) and I’m in the midst of starting my own online business.

You’re life sounds DAMNED GOOD, never mind it “isn’t all bad”.

Non Serviam wrote:

With all that said, I have crazy anxiety all the time. I find myself fighting with people I know inside my head over arguments that haven’t even happened yet. I can’t stand people having other opinions from mine and I often hold a grudge forever if I feel like I have been humiliated.

Like many People, You Can Be Your Own Worst Enemy.

You need to LEARN to Relax and LEARN to Not Give A F~~~ about pretty much everything quoted above as well as everything after it.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Greetings NS,

You are in the right place brother.

In fact, your Introduction suggests that you may be blessed with being a Natural Born MGTOW who is a Heterosexual Man that is resistant to the charms & manipulations of women and has the vision to see the Truth.

I have been fortunate to know a couple men like you in my life and they are the light of the world. One is my Mentor and the other is my younger brother. Unlike them, I came to the MGTOW Road the hard way and I am damaged from my time in Blue Pill Hell. So, I often wish I had your problems.

My Mentor and younger brother do suffer like you in spite of their fabulous lives.
It is mostly because they are sane and everyone else is mad (alas, I have been in the insane camp too long).

With all due respect, you may have weakened ego boundaries which is a problem for modern men. A healthy man’s mind will not allow our Great Enemy to get to him.

Our Patriarch, Keymaster, has excellent boundaries which he has demonstrated numerous times in the Replies and Posts in the Forums. It would be useful for you to look them up. You can always look up your favorite MGTOW’s posts and replies by going to their profile page and opening their “forums” tab.

Even Natural Born MGTOWs like you are subjected to the infernal mechanisms which enslave men and emasculate us.
For example, a lot of the foods we eat are estrogen based (Soy, flax, chia seeds, seaseme seeds…).
Also, we are subjected to many chemicals that mess up our testosterone production like Fluoride and plastics.

Pornography is another tool used to weaken men.

And Don’t get me started on the media and Gynocentric culture.

Here is a tip:

It helped me a lot when I did Full Contact Martial Arts with other men.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

I worked with a ton of people. And you know what? No f~~~s given. If you want to ghost, fine. But let me tell ya, Just tell them the truth. You want things in life.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[Branched offParticipant 10921]

Hello Non serviam.

I think you have taken a good measured view of you life. I think you know how you got where you are today but you do not feel content. You feel the pull to have a woman.

This is totally natural. You are a properly functioning man. It is only our culture today that makes it so difficult to have positive interactions with women and makes it so risky to men.

Part of going your own way is not following any pre dictated model slavishly. You don’t need to feel there are only two paths -blue pill and red pill. There are a myriad paths. You have been lucky enough to see the true nature of the world and of modern women without a bad divorce. Now you can take ownership of your life and go forward on your own path.

Have a woman if you feel the urge, have a family too. It will be a risk but maybe you are someone who has too strong an inner pull to natural behaviour to crush your self. Reproduction is a risk today in some ways but men are born to take risks. You will be very unlikely to die whatever happens and that is a better risk than many we take in life.

Whatever you do, do it with your eyes open. Understand human nature, the constraints of culture and the limits of love. Protect yourself as much as you can. Never sign a marriage contract. Keep your finances private. Keep a stash for emergencies that no woman knows of. Maybe the emergency will be a broken roof and she will thank you, maybe the emergency will be a broken relationship and you will thank yourself.

Its your life brother. Don’t be afraid. Get what you need from it, protecting yourself and those who are dear to you the best you can but remember if you are not strong you are no use to anyone else and that means keeping your sovereignty at all time. Never give it up to any woman or to any state or culture.

The gods take half the good out of a man the day they make him a slave.

noli sevare

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[Y_Participant 4591]

Non Serviam – welcome home bro’ (again!)

You seem like a ‘nice guy’ – I mean that in a good way.
However nice does not get you anywhere with people like those.

You DO need to learn to tell them to F~~~ Off and that is the only way you will be able to life your own life.

If you feel the need to be abused don’t go to those retards.
We do a much better job and you will feel good about it after that – trust me.

[Non ServiamParticipant 91]

Thanks for all the replies and support guys.

Y_ wrote:

You seem like a ‘nice guy’ – I mean that in a good way.

People tell me that. I really try not to be that way.

Even today I went up to my workplace on my own time to use the facilities to work on a personal project and the receptionist asked “oh you don’t have any plans tonight?” as if I should be wasting every minute of my life trying to live like an 18 year old at 33. I never liked clubs and bars when I was that age. I’ve been completely straight edge for almost 10 years now but I always get harassed about that s~~~ too. It almost seems like when they bring that s~~~ up – it’s to validate their own choices and crutches they depend on to get through life. I make this a bigger problem than it needs to be though, as soon as she asked me that – I had to fight myself from reliving all the previous arguments I’ve had with people over the same s~~~ as well as creating new arguments inside my head that probably won’t ever happen. I just wish there was a way to shut my mind off from this stuff.

I’ve learned that none of this is due to anyone’s concern for my well being. Most people in life do not care about your well being. They don’t even care about their own. They are toxic vampires trying to drag you down into the misery of their own bad choices for the company. They want you to over indulge and depend on vices so your success doesn’t make them realize that they are wasting their own potential by being lazy and comfortable. It is a childish state of mind where they depend on an employer to provide for them so they can avoid making any real decisions or take risks and they just simply work for the weekend – the time when they can get drunk.

I don’t know why I let these imaginary arguments get in my way so much and I don’t know why I give so much credence to what other people say to me or think. It’s what women do. I almost think it could be OCD because it feels like these are invasive thoughts that I can’t control at times. It should be the easiest thing in the world to defeat but I lose sleep over it.

[Y_Participant 4591]

Non Serviam wrote:

I don’t know why I let these imaginary arguments get in my way so much and I don’t know why I give so much credence to what other people say to me or think. It’s what women do. I almost think it could be OCD because it feels like these are invasive thoughts that I can’t control at times. It should be the easiest thing in the world to defeat but I lose sleep over it.

There are no easy answers but two things I can share with you.

1. Always be your own man. Let no one own you or make you feel responsible for something that you see no reason to get involved in. Be honest about this.

2. You need to live – really live. Don’t live a lie. Find out what you feel passionate about and do it. F~~~ what others say. You will never be happy being someone else. Do you know who you really are?

That’s all. Welcome home and see you in the forums.

[Author]

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