Another Holiday season alone

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

Been living alone in a far away foreign country for almost a decade now. During the first few years, I constantly desperately looked for friends to hang our with. This country is sadly not the place for that. People are too busy. Ended up looking for girlfriends to fill that void and often felt lonely when being single.

Right now, funny enough, I’m in the opposite situation. And not a bit happier. My current girlfriend kind of forcibly moved in with me. Ever since things have gone downhill and I am wishing in a way to be alone again.

I work hard, I spend a lot of time on my job. But my job gives me satisfaction. Through my job I have also made great advances in terms of pay and portfolio. In the past I would work until late at night, then play a game or watch TV for about 1 or 2 hours, then sleep.

Can’t do that anymore, my girlfriend wants that attention. But do think she will spend time with me in a fun way? No, she will just demand me to come to sleep, since her hobby is sleeping. So I sleep early, no fun for me. Even if I do something I like, she will just shame me for it afterwards.

Can’t watch TV shows are movies anymore that she doesn’t like. So either we watch together, or don’t watch. If I play games, she will disturb me and make life hell for me for it. (She wants that attention).

In the past I used to learn new skills, and work on private projects. No chance anymore, she wants that time, or will at least disrupt me every half an hour.

Used to go to museums with her, but found out she will either rush me through the exhibition, or complain after an hour her feet are tired, she is hungry, giddy or sick. Demand to go home, so she can lie in bed and play with her phone.

So I look around me and see:
– There are movies I will never watch in my life.
– There are books that I will never read in my life.
– There are things I want to do, but never will.

Recently took 3 week days off, so I could find time to do what I want. First day was awesome, did so many things. Second day I had a health scare, so spent most of it in the hospital. Third day she decided to call in sick from work and stay at home (and demand my time). Not sure if she was worried about my health, but I think it’s mostly she not wanting to work knowing I was at home.

I don’t think it’s healthy if the best thing my girlfriend can do for me these days, is not be around.

Haven’t pulled the plug yet on the relationship, but I might soon. So cheer up first poster. If you find yourself things to do that you like, you will be all the happier for it.

[experiencedParticipant]

AgitoM wrote:

My current girlfriend kind of forcibly moved in with me.

Thank you for posting this.
It’s important in light of the worldwide economic downturn.
Women will be more assertive at this in order to lock down the leaching.
If you could please share the details of how she did this, it will help all of us to avoid this.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

experienced wrote:

AgitoM wrote:

My current girlfriend kind of forcibly moved in with me.

Thank you for posting this.
It’s important in light of the worldwide economic downturn.
Women will be more assertive at this in order to lock down the leaching.
If you could please share the details of how she did this, it will help all of us to avoid this.

This is roughly what happened.
Both her and me, are not from the country we are living in, we are working here under a skilled professionals employment pass. We are both paid well.

Unfortunately, the law and regulations are as they are in this country, foreigners are not allowed to buy houses. The government of this country also offers no means for foreigners to live. So basically as a foreigner, you have no choice to rent a room or apartment from the local population. Cost of living being very high, renting a whole apartment is hard to afford for 1 single person, even if you are above average paid. So many foreigners either end up living with a Landlord (which I did for 5 years), or rent a apartment with a group.

When I switched jobs, my new employer offered me a fancy staff apartment for a cheap rent in return for a low end base pay, in which I could live alone (though the place was big enough to house a family) Taking into account the rental prices in the free market, it is a pretty good deal.

My girlfriend was living with several of her friends. One day a few of her friends decided to leave the apartment, looking for something cheaper. Not getting along well with the replacement housemates, she and another friend rented a cheap room somewhere in a house which the landlord was cramming full of very questionable other tenants. This didn’t work out either, and my girlfriends living together friend decided to move out.

This is basically where she started nagging me for days on end with the following arguments:
– I have no place to live anymore.
– I’m just a nomad going from place to place.
– My friends won’t take me back in anymore, they will assume since we are couple we will just live together.
– Your co-workers have girlfriends living in, why can’t you?
– Don’t you love me?

Well, it put me in a difficult spot. I know rental places outside are mostly dumps. Housemates are often questionable. Landlords are exploitative. (I was seriously lucky with the family I lived with for 5 years). So refusing her would indeed condemn her to a rather bad situation. So after days of endless nagging, and my family ironically picking her side, I just gave in. (My mother made the point it’s better to live together early, without marriage in case it doesn’t work out)

Initially it worked out. But more and more she is becoming dependant on me and outright lazy. Constantly demanding attention, and cleverly trying to get me to pay for joint expenses. I work 7 days a week to get ahead in my job, she will come home, lie down in bed and read Facebook. She used to cook, but that’s not happening anymore, when critiqued she will use one of the following reason: I’m: “Tired, “Giddy”, “Sick”, “Stressed”.

Recently finished a application to improve my residential status in this country. (outcome currently pending) Took me a year to get ready for it, mostly due to the large amount of paperwork required. Though the increased status will make me loose the apartment, (meaning that I will have little choice but to rent outside together with her) it will create more stability for me in this country and give me more freedom. I encouraged her to apply for the same. After seeing the paperwork needed, she declined, feeling it’s too much work, stating the status will be granted to her anyhow if I get it, and she were to marry me. I’d understand if she worked many hours, but most of her nights are spend lazing in bed.

So that’s what happened, and how the situation is now. In short, it is becoming more tempting to me to just tell her to leave, remain single (every woman I met in this place, despite the wealth of the country, seems to see me as a meal ticket) and focus on things that make me happy.

[experiencedParticipant]

Thank you for the details.
I would have fallen for the same s~~~.
But now that others have seen what happens, it’s time to get the locks changed while she is out.
She will find somewhere else to live.
You don’t have to put up with her “put up with me or be an asshole” setup.
She had her one chance.
She and she alone blew her one chance.
You have to end it and get rid of the leach by changing the locks, or moving away yourself, otherwise she will slo-kill you.
Maybe start another thread entitled, “How do I deal with ridding myself of a live in parasite? Ask the questions and guys here will help you!

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

experienced wrote:

Thank you for the details.
I would have fallen for the same s~~~.
But now that others have seen what happens, it’s time to get the locks changed while she is out.
She will find somewhere else to live.
You don’t have to put up with her “put up with me or be an asshole” setup.
She had her one chance.
She and she alone blew her one chance.
You have to end it and get rid of the leach by changing the locks, or moving away yourself, otherwise she will slo-kill you.
Maybe start another thread entitled, “How do I deal with ridding myself of a live in parasite? Ask the questions and guys here will help you!

The apartment is on the grounds of the organisation I work for, and owned and managed by them. Can’t really change the locks or anything, but getting rid of her should not be too difficult. In the first place she doesn’t work there, so she has no business being there if I revoke that “privilege”. Really come to the worst, I can have security remove her.

The only thing that is holding me back at this moment, is that not having a partner, also removes your support network in case of an emergency. (Such as long term illness which did happen to me before) The society I live in is rather self centred, friendships are hard to maintain since everyone is always working or busy with their partners. I don’t expect too much from them if the s~~~ hits the fan.

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

I have just found out I have had leave granted for the whole Christmas and New year period. I will be on my own for most of that. I will be having time in cafes and diners alone but with great food and a great book. I will have little chats with people. I will watch some interesting stuff on Netflix. Do a few jobs in the house. Appreciate the quiet in town while other men have to put up with stressed out nagging and drunk wives. I can’t wait. You do the same. You will come to love it.

[Gdsmn77Participant 12]

As for me I’m going on my 21st Christmas and “Holy-days” season alone. Best 21 years I ever had. 54 now and in good shape, have great family relationships, have 2 great jobs, love my children and Number 1 of all I have strong faith in Jesus Christ and His Word. No woman the whole time. Had them every second of my life before that. Too much work in this world. I believe God made us all to have good relationships that lasted and that were suppose to be strong, healthy, fulfilling, and loyal. Sin has taken those things and corrupted them beyond repair. I notice on this site women are mostly attributed the blame but in my case it was both. I accepted the fact that as a man i have no business trying to understand or make a woman happy. I don’t want to and I’m never going down that road again. I really could care less either how many there are here or anywhere else who disagree about my worldview and my faith in Christ. I make my own reality and my own decisions on life and everything else. I choose Christ unashamedly. So, the Lord teaches me to love a woman with agape love. I will do that. Agape love is unconditional Godly love. That is not sexual or in need of their approval. It is to love because to love is always right. But, to seek their companionship, acceptance or approval….nope. Not necessary. This guy here who is posting is really missing the point that a man can truly find happiness without the company of a woman. I wish him well. Men here are very blunt and negative in many ways, but they do have it correct that this worlds version of man and woman love is broken and whoever plays the love game has to get the cataracts cleared up and decide if its really worth taking that chance. In my experience its simple and goes like this. First, man meets woman and both are lifted high up to the heavenly clouds. Time goes by…. things start changing. Woman or man start cooling off maybe start seeing differences etc. Time goes by…starts getting cold. Both find themselves having to put a lot of effort into this thing. Time goes by…..Feeling is gone. Should we keep pretending and playing the game. Finally, cant wait to never see each other again. So then the dummies go looking for so called “love” again and start all over. Keep playing this over and over and you pretty much have the world of relationships here in Sodom and Gomorrah.

[KimmurielParticipant 480]

Tell me is it more rewarding to be alone on a rocky hillside with the wind blowing in your hair, and your fate decided by your own two hands

or

To be surrounded by slave-masters who whip you for criticizing them and smile condescendingly when you’re passive and defeated?

"You meet a few exceedingly forsaken, Sit around the cooler refusing domestication" Aesop Rock

[ozzynotwoodParticipant 44]

Maybe find a new hobby and have that hobby require other people. Become a musician, join a sporting team, start a facebook page for MGTOW in your area and have meets.

If they didn't have pussies they'd have targets on their backs,

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

I wrotew book last night about how this lonleynes develops.

I need to spell check it and make it coherent. I just was on a roll.

I can ohnestly say that last night reading this thread made me think.

Why did I feel alone? When did it start? Well s~~~ thats easy, my mom was always working and leaving me at home.

So last night, I started thinking how it was like growing up without my dad bothering to be around. And just being a Financer of my life. (albeit a small one thank god!) but oh boy did I hear it from my mom!.

But I have to wonder, was it really my dads fault now? I don’t think so. But it was s~~~y that he chose to just leave me out of his life. No phone calls, nothing. It sucked. Hell it still f~~~s me up today.

So last night I wrote a PAGES about why. THen it hit me. I started to understand why I was feeling this way.

I;m not saying I am better. Nope still going to take some time.

But I hope I have the time to finish the actual BOOK I wrote for the last 6 hours while at IKEA in the parking lot.

Belive me man, it WILL pass. Then you will say to yourself “How the f~~~ does he LIKE being alone!”

And one day, you will get it.

You have and NEVER will be alone.

You may not understand this now. But it will come to you. compay just falls in your lap when you don’t want it. 🙂

Peace brother!

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[BlakeGuyParticipant 287]

Foronlythe – I have the opposite view from you. I agree with all the commentators though, really good s~~~ they write. I wont add anything to what they said but just give you one mans opposite view to your.

Next Christmas will be my first Christmas alone for approximately 25 years and I cannot wait. It will be totally amazing. I used to go on ski trips before i got married. Since them I have been family hoping like 5 parties in 4 different places each Christmas. It truly sucked s~~~. Now I am free, Christmas is the time that you can get clear 2 weeks. So I can ski again. I am already planning and dreaming. Can’t f~~~ing wait.

Let the good times roll

[WOTGMSpectator 749]

For the original poster: Your post describes exactly the way I used to feel. To this day, I still have those feelings at times, but my entire way of thinking changed after I got arrested a few years back.

I won’t get into details, but I became so lonely that I literally snapped and sent this woman a bunch of texts cursing her out and calling her names. Next thing I know, I get a call from the cops and I have to go to court.

Scared the s~~~ out of me, but it also “snapped me out of it” in a way. I wish I could have snapped out of it WITHOUT having been arrested, but sometimes things happen for a reason. Before that happened, I used to picture myself sitting alone in a Diner, eating by myself, and I would cry. But now, the thought of eating in a Diner alone is a WONDERFUL feeling.

I can sit down, relax, and have zero pressure of living up to some woman’s “standards” when she herself isn’t even fit to shine my shoes. What changed so drastically? Absolutely NOTHING except for ONE very important thing: The way I looked at the situation. I took things for granted before my arrest, but afterwards, it woke me up. It was a blessing in disguise, and after reading the horror divorce stories here, I got off SUPER EASY all things considered.

That woman who had me arrested may very well have saved my life, although that was hardly her intention. Instead of looking at having no woman as “being lonely” look at it as HAVING FREEDOM! Instead of viewing it as having “nobody to spend time with” think of it as having SO MUCH free additional time to do the hobbies you LOVE doing!

EXERCISE when feeling down! Take a walk! These simple things will help you get through tougher moments! I went from being so depressed because I was “alone” to now fully embracing all the other positive things in my life, and the many blessing that being alone has afforded me. I never did that in the past which is why I suffered so much!

Your entire way of thinking CAN AND WILL CHANGE! Our brains are an AMAZING thing and they have the power to completely change how you view things in your life, if you work on it! I look back now and think “What the hell was I thinking?!?!” I actually WANTED a nagging wife and screaming little brat who poops all day and will grow up to hate me? Trust me when I say KIDS ARE WAY OVERRATED lol and anyone who says otherwise is JEALOUS and wants you to suffer because THEY are!

ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM! Understand your feelings of pain and loneliness WILL PASS once you understand they are just a result of social conditioning society has inflicted upon you, and it’s NOT YOUR FAULT! Your way of thinking WILL CHANGE just as mine has and you WILL find happiness! GOOD LUCK BROTHER!

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

I hope you’re still around OP and have read the responses to your post.

We’ve all been where you were at brother. I haven’t actively chased pussy for almost a year now. Last Friday in my apartment I felt really lonely, the worst I’ve felt in a while. I was out that night with the family, celebrating my sister-in-laws birthday. Seeing all the “Happy” couples, eating, drinking, having a good time with good people and conversations.

However I snapped back into reality, based on my own experiences. When I had a girl, when we would leave dinner and get back to the house, a fight, some shaming, or some other s~~~ would get said that would mess up an otherwise decent evening.

I’ve never been married, never had kids, had one girl live with me, and let me tell you, that was enough for me to decide that I wasn’t missing anything. I know where you’re at, being alone, seeing all these “Happy” people, and thinking there must be something else to life. Well there is. You. Be yourself, do what you want to do, improve yourself, or don’t. You will find meaning to your life once you focus on yourself and what you have, instead of what you don’t have.

[blacksheepmgtowParticipant 27]

I do NOT miss Christmas with my ex and the in laws. The BS of having to co ordinate schedules, buy ONLY pre approved gifts, listen to the women p~~~ and moan……and the family politics. Who is talking/not talking to whom, the complaints about gifts not being expensive enough, and watching mom and dad in law have quiet disagreements about selling the house they just bought and moving into something in the ritzietst neighborhood in the city……

Christmas now is about a few quiet days off, connecting with friends and enjoying the serenity that comes from not having to worry about someone getting offended over something asinine. It will take a while to get used to, but think of it this way…….you are NOT playing the game, by the twisted set of rules they laid out. Like Frank Ahearn says…….disappear without a trace. In a world where men are expected to slave, in order to make the stores and the women happy, you are fighting a counter culture war. Put yourself and your health and happiness at the top of your list. MGTOW !

You CANNOT negotiate with crazy! Their thought process cannot handle logic and reason. They counter with dysfunction and hormonal thinking. best not to let them get that close.

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

I was in the same condition after my divorce. I had moved away from my family and friends and was living a city where I didn’t know that many folks. I felt very alone. And alone on the holidays is it own kind of ALONE. My first reaction was…how the hell did I end up in this sorry state? I must be a real loser. I wallowed around with that state of mind for about 6 months. Then I had another look at the situation. I didn’t have many friends because all our friends were her friends. I vowed to get out more. Be more open to opportunities that were around me I was missing before. For example, I met a buddy at work that liked football as much as I do and we meet up at BWW to watch a game abut twice a month. I joined the local rowing club. I’m not a church goer but a church in the faith I was raised with has a group of men who spend a Saturday every other month fixing up things around the house of an elderly person. What ever floats your boat, get out and start DOING things you like and natural friendships can develop. Life is what you make it now.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[sjt1975Participant 2536]

foronlythe wrote:

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. (Corrected Quote)

It is easy to say the things you say when you have experienced life [with a woman before]. Imagine if you had nothing. Imagine if women ignored you for over 30 years. Imagine if there weren’t any children, no moments, no dinners, no intimacy, no nothing. How do you think you would feel then? Imagine if your life were a big nothing, a void without meaning? Imagine if you never experienced anything in life. Don’t you think your perspective would be a bit different? You can only appreciate being alone if you have never faced it. Face it for a lifetime and nothing else has any meaning.

I also have had nothing from women, apart from being used by women my entire life, for my intelligence, in 42 years. After fighting my previous Blue-Pill Programming, which has taken me 6 years to do, I now realise that the problem is in thinking in the manner in your own paragraph:

“Imagine if your life were a big nothing, a void without meaning?”

This is a fundamental part of Blue-Pill Thinking, i.e. that you must have a woman in your life for it to be truly meaningful and complete. This is a lie, which is used to pertuate men in to thinking that they need a woman in their lives to be happy/complete, when men do not, in order to give women a constant stream of male providers and male attention/validation. A man’s happiness comes from within himself and is not actually dependent on a woman; men have been Blue-Pill Brain-Washed in to thinking that a man can only be happy if he has a woman, but the truth is the opposite of this.

After 6 years of mentally working-through the contradictions between the Blue-Pill Thinking and Reality, I have learnt the following truths:
(a) There is no perfect woman (out there for me);
(b) Women do not truly care for/like/love men, they like what certain men do for them (i.e. give them resources);
(c) ‘Love’ is an illusion, a lie, to create a false mental dependency/desire within men for women, and women are not capable of ‘love’ as men understand it (i.e. true love, un-conditional love, as you actually get from a dog);
(d) Women do not truly want a Good Man; they truly desire the Alpha Male, which is why women always choose the Jerk over the Nice Guy, when they feel that they have a choice – they will only settle for a Nice Guy when no ass-hole will have sex with them and they need a provider (i.e. a source of money/security) (like a Prostitute does);
(e) Women are dis-ingenuous, e.g. in their use of make-up to make themselves look more attractive than they really are, in lying to men (when they say that they like/love you), like con-artists/fakers;
(f) Women constantly use their feminine wiles to get their own way, i.e. generally to get men to do things for them, rather than doing things properly and learning properly themselves, with no come-back on themselves for such poor lazy/manipulative behaviour (a so-called ‘pussy pass’, i.e. the incorrect reliance on male desire to condone bad female behaviour).
When you learn/understand/accept these truths, any sane man would not want such a person in their lives. But learning and acceptance is the hard part.

Now, after fighting 36 years of Blue-Pill Programming for 6 years, I now positively do not want a woman in my life, and I am disgusted at the creatures that women have become nowadays. It is all just such a shame. But things are the way that they are; you alone cannot change them, so you must accept them, and walk away from the bull-s~~~ of society/women as much as you can. You can divert the energy of your sexual desires/urges in to other useful things (i.e. hobbies). It is though, I know. You have to stop basing your sense of worth around vagina/women, basically.

So, your initial phrase, which is again Blue-Pill Thinking, is wrong:

“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” (Corrected Quote)

Like as in a lot of things in life, “ignore is bliss”. Whilst I have never experienced any intimacy/sex from a woman, I also have not experienced any of the deceit, lies, manipulation, energy/money/time extraction, bitching/demanding/nagging, and other bad things of having a woman in my life, from women; these bad things dramatically out-weight the good thingswith women, which is why more and more men are now choosing to be single, because they can see that a relationship with a woman is truly damaging for a man and is dramatically un-balanced/un-fair (i.e. “the juice is not worth the squeeze”). The fact that modern women are so promiscuous has also de-valued sex, which is a woman’s only true power over men; women only with-hold sex from men who they think are not worthy of it (i.e. from the Good Man, which does not make sense, until you understand the true female nature).

So, I will continue to live another 40 years of my life without a woman, and nowadays, I am bloody well thankful that I decided to not give in to my sexual desires/urges when I was younger, as I would be screwed (metaphorically speaking) by now. I will continue to play my Piano for myself, without some bitching/demanding/nagging painted harpy, distracting me from whatever I want to do in my life.

[Author]

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