[Advice] Stressed about finances even though I shouldn't be

[rironParticipant 45]

So I’m feeling a lot of financial stress even though I really shouldn’t. I’ve come here before for advice and you guys have always been very helpful.

-Total liquid assets combined add up to 3 years living expenses
-Graduate in half an year with engineering degree from a college known for having employable students (average starting salary = $80K)
-Tried my hand at manual labor, found it quote enjoyable and well-paying (relatively)
-Living a broke college lifestyle, so minimal expenses, and not planning on changing that
-Parents rich so even if I mess up massively they’ll bail me out, heck they’re already looking at my lifestyle and trying to convince me to buy more expensive stuff and offering to pay (but I don’t want to build a habit of spending).
-And of course: mgtow

The reason is that some of the things I do have a double-edged sword

-Doing contractor work instead of internship grants me tons of freedom and massive potential for growth but zero job security.
-Also I haven’t been doing it long enough to know my returns, at the moment income is less than expenses.
-To make it worse the half decent success prevents me from accepting mediocre jobs, which is probably better in the long term but does nothing to fix the short-term expenses > income problem.
-I learned about what financial freedom is (passive income > living expenses). On one hand, that’s given me something to work towards, but I’m not making much progress towards it courtesy of s~~~ty business, and also I know what I don’t have.

Even though I’m basically sitting in an express train to financial well-being, how do I deal with the anxiety when looking at my monthly balance sheet and seeing expenses > income?

Write "What is MGTOW?" on paper money and spend it. Spreading MGTOW with complete deniability. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[BlacqueJacqueShellacqueParticipant 6890]

Cut your expenses. Live like you’re broke.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

Looks like you’re on the right path, Riron. When you get hired, see if your company will match funding for a 401(k). Set yourself up for freedom with a retirement plan as soon as you start your career.

Also, I’m sure you’ve heard of Leykis 101, right?

Basically, it’s a bad idea to blow your money on women. Women will come and go as they please—they’re beyond anyone’s control. Spend as little as possible on dating. Do not squirt inside a vagina and get stuck with 18 years of child support payments. Establish your career. Live within your means. Be ready to move to where to jobs are. Create a savings/investment plan. The situation you should be working for is this: You have CHOICES. You are in demand and can negotiate a salary. You are not desperate for jobs and money. You are not worried about getting fired or laid off. That’s empowerment.

Look around you. There are guys with dead end jobs and cold-hearted, demanding wives. These women want your paycheck but they offer NOTHING in return: no hot meals, no hot sex. Learn from that, and create something better for yourself. Best of luck to you, mate.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[AwakenedParticipant 35201]

You have been TRAINED through the brainwashing of the matrix (IE Societal and Family pressures) to worry about all this stuff. We all have had this indoctrination which brings with it a lot of self-imposed stress/anxiety.

You have to learn to start caring a whole lot less about more and more !!

You could just as easily die today, tomorrow, or the next day, and then what good did all this planning, preparation, and worry do for you ??

No F~~~s Given will help to relieve some of your self inflicted punishment !!

“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”

——Morpheus

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Yeah, patience when it comes to money can be tough. My advice would be to spend some extra time trying to figure out what you are going to do with the money once you have it. Develop a plan for how to invest it. Put together a fake portfolio online and watch it to see how it does. A little practice when it isn’t real money. That way you can see if your plan starts paying off before you lay down any cash. And it will keep your mind busy.

Order the good wine

[Y_Participant 4591]

You have not told us what is really bothering you.
You gave us a story but did not nail the worry.

So can you tell us what the worry is actually about?
A fear of not performing at work?
Fear of failing university?
Fear of not saving money?
is it a lack of self-confidence?
A limp dick?
WHAT?

There is ALWAYS a specific fear or two.

Look mate get a grip.
Tell us the problem exactly as you see it.
We can’t find it for you.

[rironParticipant 45]

Look mate get a grip.
Tell us the problem exactly as you see it.
We can’t find it for you.

Basically it’s because my expenses are currently more than my income.
It probably shouldn’t matter from a rational perspective because of all the other reasons I mentioned.

However I think the fear is mostly irrational, but I still can’t get rid of it. Since I’m used to working in the startup industry, it’s impossible to plan for anything. Because of this I basically have a mindset of:
-don’t expect anything from the future (i.e. don’t assume I’ll get a nice paying job out of college) (this doesn’t mean don’t attempt to make long-term investments, but it means does mean not relying on investments to make returns unless they have a track record, “me with a degree in my unique situation” not being one of them)
-it is only I achieve today that matters” (I look at today and see that expenses > income)

I’ve mostly been trying to combat this with mental exercises:
-what would need to happen to send me into the red (jobless for 2 years)
-if I got even more hardcore with my lifestyle going from “broke college student” to “borderline homeless” how much longer would I last
-how many hours I would need to work manual labor in order to have my lifestyle break even (problem is that me actually going out and working manual labor would require me to put my current contracting leads on hold which would hurt me in the long term.)

I suppose I’m looking for ideas / realizations?

Write "What is MGTOW?" on paper money and spend it. Spreading MGTOW with complete deniability. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[Y_Participant 4591]

Thanks for that

First – you are normal and this is a normal occurrence. It happens to all of us at some point. There is a psychological term and reasons for it but never mind that for the time being. So don’t beat yourself over the head. Understand you can overcome this issue if you want to.

Second – These ‘confidence attacks’ (for want of a better term – ok?) are psychological so rational solutions like forcing yourself to go against them can be harmful if you try too hard. The feelings are usually attributed to something that happened to you in the past.

Basically your level of reaction seems more serious than the normal attacks we face from time to time. I believe this behaviour or pattern is not related to money per se – but to some other issue that impacts your self confidence.

A good psychologist will know how to get you to face whatever it is you seem to fear. You need to see one. This is something that you should not handle on your own. We are not trained psychologists so we can’t help you – or worse may give you wrong information. Again there is nothing wrong in seeing a psychologist. My brother is one and he helps a lot of people who need it.

The money bit is something you can work on outside of the problem. That requires some discipline and planning. Your real problem is not this.

We are here if you want to talk but you should really see a good qualified MALE psychologist.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

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