I dealt with my sisters who are endlessly nasty. I won’t go into the details but I’ll just say that I’m more than happy to be away from them. For years I suffered their nastiness. Then I went away. They didn’t understand that I could just leave them alone and go my own way. My parents were lost and suddenly I heard new rules like you can’t turn away from family.

Well… you can. Not only that, but I felt much better. I wasn’t neurotic and I didn’t need to analyze everything I did to find out how I wasn’t a total loser for it.

They set up this situation that only benefits them, and totally ruins you. I tried explaining my position but they didn’t care. They had no compulsion. Then I left. I said, “Take me off of your Christmas list.” Peace was endless (isn’t Jesus the Prince of Peace?).

So, how is it I was never supposedly able to perceive peace in leaving them? I just can’t wrap my mind around the audacity? Why am I still then so happy to be rid of them? Why can’t they figure out I really don’t love them?

Do they perceive my maleness as an inherent incapacity to leave? Am I considered hopelessly stupid?

Not everyone is aware of this rule. It sounds like you are, but your family hasn’t figured it out yet. Give them time and distance (lots of both). They may come to understand. But if they don’t:

Another rule: I do not owe an explanation to anyone for abandoning a relationship.

And if they don’t, they will not like it. This brings me to another of my rules:

I require the approval of exactly NO ONE for making decisions in my own best interest.

To paraphrase my fav’ beer salesman: I don’t always write the rules, but when I do, I live happy, healthy and safe…