A brief background, this is the 4th year of me taking my ex through the courts trying to get some kind of semblance to normal contact with my sons (10 and 6), I have had contact orders made in my favor which repeatedly get broken with no penalizing of my ex (not surprised). I had pretty much come to the conclusion that its time for an ultimatum, either:

1) Proper contact (I see them less than 10% of the month currently and have to make 4 journeys back and forth for this, no overnight contact as the judge left it to us to resolve, although it clearly couldn’t be and had already been 2 yrs in the legal system at the point, which was a short while before he got sacked and exposed in all the newsapapers for watching porn) or option 2:

2) I can’t go through this anymore and wait till they are older and free of the witch’s control (and are hopefully not too fully parentally alienated and messed up, the eldest one is already messed up and suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, even lied to cover his mother about her severely beating him and his siblings).

Is it better to have some contact rather than none in these circumstances?

If you’re in the US here’s some info. You need a good lawyer. http://ncfm.org/get-help/services/

http://www.chambersandpartners.com/11814/27/editorial/1/1

You don’t have to go to your option 2 yet, wait and see what is or is not on the table.

You mentioned she is beating your boys, I couldn’t allow that to happen. I would stop that from happening with or without the courts blessing.

Sorry to hear of your situation, keep posting on here as you work through it.

If you did want to mention your ultimatum at the family court, keep it until the end. Get as much on the table as you can first? You might find after dropping the option 2 you might get a little more.

Dig deep man.

You need a good lawyer.

He is right. Get a good lawyer.

If you do …. does it carry a ‘power of arrest’ warrant?

If not …  apply to have this attached to the order.

This means if she refuses contact again you can call the police and have them turn up.

Also it is recorded on record.

You say the UK but not Scotland I hope. Different rules there.

Thanks for the advice, its definitely helping me lean more towards going to the court date. As regards the beating that was stopped and you’re right, with or without a courts blessing somethings just have to be done, for now the abuse is emotional/mental etc.

@iliveagain, thanks, I’m not in Scotland. I don’t have the order to hand, it just has the warning notice but not an enforcement order, I will definitely press to have that in place to, although it seems judges are still too reluctant to penalise in most cases of breached contact orders (even repeated breaches).

If the truth is that they feel unsafe, then they must tell the judge this.

For what it’s worth, the literally best divorce attorney (a reputation as a pitbull) told me that as ‘plan B’ if all else fails, if my child kept physically coming to me, there’s not all that much she can do.  It is what it is, at least as applies here in the US.