Married Routine:

Weekdays

7:00am – Wake up and get ready for work-Staying as quiet as possible so as not to disturb my sleeping wife
7:30am – Leave for Work
8:00 – 4:00 – Work
5:00pm – 7:00pm – Help wife prepare and eat dinner
7:00pm – Bedtime – Entertain wife who was home alone all day

Weekends

9:00am – Wake up slowly, pillow-talk/plan activities for the day with wife
10:00am – 12:00pm – Prepare and eat brunch, talk, drink coffee
12:00pm – 4/5:00pm – Chores and various outdoor activities i.e. lay on a blanket in the park, go for an afternoon drink (but no more than 2 because wife believes “all people who get drunk are unhappy and running away from something”)
5:00pm – 7:00pm – Prepare and eat dinner
7:00pm – bedtime – Entertain wife

This is a very general description. One night/week we go to dancing lessons and another we have a yoga class. And once or twice per week I can get to the gym for a workout. Sometimes the wife can entertain herself with television but is upset when I would rather read in the other room. As is clear, my daily activities are heavily influenced by the needs of my wife. When I am not working I am a human version of her puppy dog, going for walks, talking, cuddling, etc.

It’s not that she won’t give me time for myself, on the contrary, she gives me as much time as I ask for (as I write, I can’t believe that I ask for time for myself as if it is something that she alone controls and can give). Some weeks, I will workout after work every night and I often go out for a guys night with my buddies, who are also married or engaged. The problem, I find, is that after she “grants” me some time for myself she feels that I owe her something. From shaming me in various ways (i.e. the aforementioned drunk-to-unhappy correlation) to outright manipulation (crying fits of insecurity) she demands that I spend more time with her.

So now for the ideal MGHOW weekly routine:

Weekdays

6:30am – 7:00am – Wake up and do yoga
7:00am – 7:30am – Get ready for work
Without the fear of waking anyone, I could make a proper breakfast at home
8:00am – 4:00pm – Work
5:00pm – 6:00pm – Prepare and eat dinner
6:00pm – bedtime – hobbies (play guitar, workout, read)

Weekends

9:00am – 10:00am – Wake up and eat breakfast
10:00am – 12:00pm – Workout
12:00pm – 1:00pm – Lunch
1:00pm – 3:00pm – Chores
3:00pm – bedtime – Anything I want – hobbies, hanging with friends…

Again, this is a very general overview of the daily activities here, with the added benefit of scrapping the whole schedule should something more exciting present itself (spontaneity is more difficult when two people need to agree of the proposed schedule change). I would continue to take a yoga class once/week, substitute a guitar lesson for dance lessons and I’d probably workout 5 times/week (oh, how I miss the time I had for working out before I got married).

This little exercise of comparing the daily routines of MGTOW and married men opened my eyes to the time needed to maintain a relationship with a woman. There is not much difference in the two routines. Working, cooking and chores are inevitabilities of life, but during the precious hours at the end of the day when married men are attending to their wives, MGTOW are improving themselves; tinkering with hobbies, completing projects, staying fit both mentally and physically and advancing their lives according to their plan.

This may be to bold a statement but this seems to reveal that – A happy marriage requires the sacrifice of a man’s personal agenda.

The marriage contract (and husbands obligations) in today’s terms is understood by the female as a docile controlled schmuck who does whatever she wants, never questions anything, quietly pays for everything and never pesters his queen for sex. That is the modern female’s definition of “the ideal husband”. And if you fail to entertain her majesty in the way she so desires, she will “divorce your head so fast it will make your head spin”. They actually say this to their husbands out loud.

Never forget that the modern marriage is a woman’s dreams realized and a man’s dreams gone. This is why a woman wants to lock you down around 30 which is just prior to a man beginning to conceptualize he is own potential. As her youth and beauty and reproductive capacity begins to fade, his are just about to rapidly begin to accelerate. He is about to begin to see the rewards of his efforts.

After I turned 28 (or so) if I didn’t have a woman around, I would feel like I was missing something. Then when I would have one, within 2 weeks I would find myself thinking “DAMN WOIMAN!!! STOP SWEATTIN’ ME! WHY YOU ALL UP UNDER ME???”. I would finish my work day and be through with 9 or 10 hours of giving other people what they want and pleasing them. Then I would get in my car and on the way home realize I was just about to start another “shift” of the same s~~~. That’s when I realized I was letting the female dictate the terms of a “relationship’.

This will never happen again. The terms are mine and if she doesn’t like them – GET. OUT. It’s not about “controlling” her. It’s about grabbing control of his life and getting his needs met. If they are not, then you’re with the wrong person.

Watch your personal life (and contentment level!) improve dramatically when you snatch the pen away from her and write the script yourself.

This is all assuming of course that we aren’t talking about a modern, materialistic, omni-empowered, and totally self-sufficient super t~~~!

I am not nearly old enough and/or wise enough to give marital advice, as I have not been married myself. With that said, I think at this point you have somewhat answered your own internal question.. If you need to compare the life of being single to being married, how beneficial is the marriage to you? I mean this post in the most respectful and empowering way, but I think you having major questions about a marriage says a lot about whether you should be married or not.

Maybe I am simply looking at this as black & white and ignoring the gray area, but I think there is a lot to say about a man who commits to this type of situation but is clearly having regrets. I have been told by some of the most influential males in my life the same thing “If you don’t like your situation, LEAVE. Nobody has a gun to your head.”

I have followed this philosophy in relationships, career ventures, and overall life goals. If you aren’t happy with the way things are going, you are not forced to stay. Nobody has a gun to your head forcing you to be in this relationship, so why not do what makes you happy? From what I’ve read, you have earned the right to make decisions for yourself and do the things you want to do. You should be able to spend your nights tinkering and bettering yourself because that is what YOU WANT to do. As we touched on in a previous post, you should NEVER rely on anyone else to give you a sense of purpose, drive, or happiness.

You are correct, I have already answered my own question. It is not a matter of “if” but “when” I will get divorced. Unfortunately, there are several reasons which require that I delay taking action (I know this may be frowned upon, but I feel I must honor a few commitments over the next 3 months and they require that we stay together).

In my introduction, I closed by saying

So I am here in search of support, brotherhood and a little Red Pill Positive Reinforcement to help me wake up.

I might add that I am also chronicling my experience in hopes that other men may find the answers or guidance they seek in the words I’ve shared here.

@rastamon said:

You are correct, I have already answered my own question. It is not a matter of “if” but “when” I will get divorced. Unfortunately, there are several reasons which require that I delay taking action (I know this may be frowned upon, but I feel I must honor a few commitments over the next 3 months and they require that we stay together).

Naw, man. No one’s going to judge for following through on commitments you’ve already made before moving on. It’s the honourable thing to do.

This is colloquially know as the “sunk cost fallacy”. You are driven to continue investing in something because you have already invested X amount in it and you fear that if you abandon it now, all your previous investments will have been for naught. It is fallacious thinking because whether or not you continue to invest in it, what you have already invested is still lost.

“I might as well keep eating because I already bought the food.”
“I might as well keep watching this terrible movie because I’ve watched an hour of it already.”
“I might as well continue dating someone bad for me because I’ve already invested so much in them.”