My Experiences and Story

I’ve dated quite a few different girls. My first LTR and eventually LDR started about 2 years before I joined the military. About one year into my enlistment she cheated on, and dumped me while I was away at EOD school. I let it get to me, washed out, and ended getting re-classed. I’m not going to focus a lot of this relationship, because I was ignorant and learned very little from it. The one thing I did learn was never to let a woman consume you to the point to forget what it is you really want.

After all that, I had a few flings, but nothing I could really feel that serious about. Well, there was one, but I fortunately dodged a bullet because she got stationed overseas.

Now to the beginning of the real story that brought me here. By now I was at my first duty station, sharing a nice townhouse with a coworker, and going out every weekend, living it up, getting positive about life, etc. We use to hangout at this strip club(and yeah, I know you can see where this is going already), we never took it too serious, and usually just had a good time. Well, I met a girl who worked there. I guess I’ll just call her Cupcake. Cupcake was actually a sweet and beautiful 18(I was 22) year old girl who had a good head on her shoulders. We were friends for a few months, and eventually started dating. Everything with Cupcake and I is awesome, but one day she shows up to my house crying. Apparently her male roommate tried to pressure her into having sex with him, she refused, but ended up masturbating in front of him. I was livid, told her I needed to think about this, and headed off to work. I had an older coworker friend that told me to f~~~ing kick her to the curb immediately, but I was all about forgiveness and doing the “right” thing at the time. I mean, I’d want another chance if I f~~~ed up right? So are the ways of the foolish beta. So I forgave her, and all was well.

A few weeks later, we end getting married. I hope by now you all can see how f~~~ing retarded I was. We moved in together, and surprisingly things were not all that bad. A few months later I had to deploy for what turned out to be almost 8 months, but was originally meant to be 6. Looking back on it, there is were I should of realized this chick had zero empathy. I tried my best to be supportive when I had the energy and time to speak with her, but it was all about her. I get back, and it’s just a nightmare of misery. My feelings don’t matter, I’m worthless, nothing is good enough, etc. This goes on for the rest of our marriage basically, and gets worse as she moves up the ladder of successful wealthy stripper. She eventually convinces me I should get out of the military early. I had wanted to anyway, but I needed more planning time. I do this for her because she threatens divorce.

I end getting out, and paying most of the bills and groceries with unemployment money while she hordes all her fat cash, and complains. Eventually we separate for a while. During these months I start to get my s~~~ together mentally and physically. She comes back, senses a change in me, and wants to try working it out. We move Vegas for her work, and everything seems fine for about a month. Then…she turns into a f~~~ing psycho. Emotional and psychological abuse hits a whole new level of crazy. I finally just f~~~ing cracked, and went as extremely beta as one could go. I stopped looking for a new job, I stopped taking care of myself, I gave up on life, did whatever she said, etc. She wanted a divorce, but made it difficult to get it done and let me be on my way. I had two friends who stood by me the entire time, and finally convinced me to just do whatever she wanted to get it filed, and leave. So I got up the courage, and I f~~~ing did it. I left with the clothes on my back, a laptop, and one bag of luggage. No fault divorce, let her have all the crummy senseless bulls~~~ I don’t need. Flew to another state to room with a friend, and he helped me restart an awesome career.

For a while she keeps trying to talk to me, and make me think all of this is my fault, and that really I was the one that spurned her. I choose not to put up with this. She also stalked my reddit, and noticed I had been reading redpill and MGTOW type stuff. She goes nuts, makes it public she has this new guy. A guy she had apparently been seeing before our divorce. I guess she thought this was going to get to me, and it did at first. But in the end, it just burned her f~~~ing bridge with me completely.

The divorce is still pretty fresh, and good part of me still misses her and cares about her, but I will never f~~~ing turn back.

A Few Highlights and Observations

• Self respect. Have it, and don’t let anyone try to take it away from you, or even worse give it away to someone because they have your heart. The berating, constant reminder of how worthless I am, physical abuse, etc destroyed me as a person. I became exactly what she spent years telling me I was. Then she discarded me.
• No contact. This is extremely important. Cupcake to even almost two months later with some other wealthy guy banging her out tries to keep her hooks in me. Before she let the cat out of the bag about her new victim; she feigned some sort of love for me still and tried to work her way back into my bank account. Talk about how I should send her gifts, and how she’ll have extra money to come see me. F~~~ all that. She had her chance; she is f~~~ing done.
• Ultimately you have to take responsibility for yourself. I look back, and see where I failed as a man. At this point I could give a s~~~ less about how I “failed” her, because that s~~~ changed on a regular basis regardless of what I changed or did differently.

I apologize for the messy story format. I’m a bit busy on and off, and there is just SO much that I could have added that it’s almost easier if people ask me to clarify, or go into some details about specific things. I will gladly do so. I am really glad I found you guys, and I am ready to start the path of going my own way.

At the point where you forgave your ex you pretty well had me. I would have done the same thing in your shoes… but now that I’m a bit older and more experienced, I’d never have been dating a stripper in the first place. You can’t expect to make a decent pie out of a rotten apple, no matter how good your baking skills are… and sex trade workers are just rotten. Sorry if it’s not their fault but that they’re broken but hey, at the end of the day we all make our choices.

So, good on your for moving on and for committing to making something with your life. A lot of guys go to pieces when their relationships blow up, particularly when there is infidelity and anger on the female’s part… but now you’ve got a new point of view and people to share it with so it’s gonna be fine.

Thanks for sharing your story and welcome.

No contact. This is extremely important.

I thought it. You said it – before I could put it down. Damn right, and for all the reasons you explained. But damn, it’s difficult to do. YOU MUST NOT CAVE ON THIS. Not even f~~~ing slightly. I speak as an authority on the AWESOMENESS of no contact. It’s got nothing to do with her. It’s about YOU. Even when you’re open to accepting a text / email / call … just that is enough for her to think *you are still there* and that’s the worst thing you can communicate to her. No. DONE. Finished. You are not there. Not even in spirit. The umbilical is severed and you’re not her goddam parachute. Deny her the ability to even FANTASIZE about you still being there for any reason.

One chance. Per chick. Per lifetime. No exceptions.

… is the way I think about it now. And I will say it out loud at the first sign of any bulls~~~.

Everything with Cupcake and I is awesome, but one day she shows up to my house crying. Apparently her male roommate tried to pressure her into having sex with him, she refused, but ended up masturbating in front of him. I was livid, told her I needed to think about this, and headed off to work. I had an older coworker friend that told me to f~~~ing kick her to the curb immediately, but I was all about forgiveness and doing the “right” thing at the time

No good deed goes un punished. First time I heard that expression, I didn’t know what the f~~~ that was supposed to mean. But now it’s crystal clear. No chick in the history of f~~~ will ever reward you for that on any level. Being the better man is only a gesture for MEN and only they will recognize it and reward you for it.

I read the above, and by the time I got to “she shows up crying” my brake lights went on. When I don’t want to have sex with a chick, I don’t whip out my dick and pull on it for her entertainment. Jesus Christ.

So are the ways of the foolish beta

I’ve been as guilty as you.

I apologize for the messy story format.

LOL you could write legal contracts professionally.

Spectacular intro, Hyper. Thanks for making it and welcome. Join in whenever you’re inspired. Bring your messy story format anytime.

And wow!, what a story!. You made some pretty solid points. Glad You got out of it!, stay strong, and welcome to MGTOW!.