Cheers All.

This whole Idea of “paying”…. I don’t even like it with my guy friends. It’s a non issue. Only with women is it an “issue” over who pays. They are f~~~ing 4 year olds about it. They are actually CONSCIOUS about “who pays”. Like who f~~~ing cares who pays.

I go out with a buddy, the check comes, maybe I get it… “hey great thanks! get you next time, man”….. and then we go back to talking. DONE! Next time he reaches for his wallet and I reach for mine, he says “Let me get it”, and we continue talking. It’s transparent. We barely notice. I don’t like to talk or even think about “the money”. If “the money” is an issue, I wouldn’t even go out at all.

The soul yearns for company. Dinner is just the excuse.
But women are such a f~~~ing buzzkill over this s~~~.

When I was a part time waiter, OH MY GOD what a f~~~ing catastrophe when women go out together. “OK I owe $17… wait that’s not right… did I have a salad?… oh no YOU had the salad so I only owe $13……. plus tip so let me see…. is $15 enough? The service wasn’t that great…. I don’t understand the whole point of tipping anyway…. do you have 2 5s for a $10? …. no SHE had the salad.. did everyone pay? … next time we should get separate checks…. “

No the next time you should all stay f~~~ing HOME. You’re a goddam embarrassment.

It’s a 4-act Wagnerian production every single time. Twenty minutes to pay the check for a table of 6. No exaggeration. I’m happy to pay just to avoid the childish nonsense. If I pay on a “date”, it’s for that reason too – just for it to be a non issue. But I know in her mind it’s a great big f~~~ing issue so let her obsess over it.

Mostly with women (on dates in the past), I pay so i don’t owe them s~~~. Not even an explanation if I don’t call her again.

Then when she bumps into me some other time “hey why didn’t call me?”… I play stupid.
“What do you mean? I paid for dinner. Why do you think I should call you again??”

BUT!!!! There is another HUGE upside to paying!

When I pay, I order for her. I TELL her what she is going to eat. This freaks women out. They think I am some misogynist f~~~ing dinosaur Don Draper stuck in the 50s…. but guess what. If I invited her over to my house for dinner she doesn’t get to CHOOSE S~~~. She will eat what I f~~~ing serve her. Therefore , in a restaurant – as my guest – she will eat what I f~~~ing DECIDE she will eat. Or she can LEAVE.

HA HA. Choke on that, bitches.

Men who pay – AND let her choose from the menu – haven’t thought this through very carefully.

So… if she wants to choose from the menu. SHE pays for her own meal.
Say it right to her face. Right then and there. Establish that s~~~.

I recently cut off (mostly likely temporarily) a platonic female friend of mine who after agreeing to meet at a restaurant.  We ate pretty expensively. When the bill came, she was like “…Iyou can always make a donation…” code for “You should pay for both of us.”

F~~~ that Shiet!

That hardly EVER happens with one of my guy buddies  Like Key Master said, Guys might ‘comp’ each other out of the spirit of the Brotherhood (i.e. “I got you Dawg”, “No problem, Playa, “Mi Sushi, Su Sushi”).

Women…..Shiet….

They’re always be plotting for the Guy to Pay.

F~~~in’ Entitlement without a promise of a F~~~. 🙁

Waiter: “Ready to order?”
Me: “Yes. I’ll have the surf and turf butterfly cut and cooked medium with mixed greens on the side and my date here will have the salad and crackers.”
Date: “Why do you get surf and turf and I only get a salad?”
Me: “Because you’re probably just going to go stick your finger down your throat after dinner and yack it up anyway…”

And yeah, I order for females to. I figure if I’m paying, I’m the majority shareholder and I call the shots. “We’re going to Herbs & Rye to celebrate my dick still working… I’m having a filet oscar style and you’re having one plain, medium rare with chimichurri and a side of asparagus. And a Moscow Mule.” and if she makes a squeak say “You always want to eat whatever I end up ordering anyway but fine, if you think you know what you like better than I do, you order for yourself and we’ll do separate checks.”

Hey, it wasn’t that long ago that they used to have “date menus” which had all the items on them but no prices. I say we go back to the time where the person that pays the fiddler calls the tune.