This gem comes from an EHarmony site lol.  I particularly get a kick out of the stock photo.  Yeah, that’s what most of ’em look like.

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating-advice-for-you/15-reasons-to-date-a-single-mom/#.VMfSei67lKo

Don’t let her kids scare you off. That cute single mom might be the future Mrs. You.

Here are 15 reasons to date a single mom.

1. She’s no wimp. Single moms are tough and independent.  She’s neither tough OR independent.  Hence the fact that she is looking for someone to latch onto in order to pay her bills and do the icky things in life which are tough.  Enter wallet.

2. She’s already a great mom. (And weren’t you looking for someone who would be a great mother? Look no further!)  She has demonstrated the ability to physiologically conceive.  She’s demonstrated that she can physically have a child.  This does not automatically qualify someone as being “great”.  I too can get someone pregnant.  This does not make me a great father.

3. She’s incredibly patient, but doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for bad behavior. She’ll be good for you.  Patience is an individual trait.  The only time a woman is patient, is to wait out her plan long enough to rob you blind.  “She’ll be good for you”.  You don’t know me, I don’t know her, you don’t know her, she doesn’t know me.  What a beautiful, purely unquantifiable statement.

4. She doesn’t play games. She doesn’t have time to just fool around. She takes her relationships seriously.  She’s had plenty of time to fool around, and didn’t take her relationship seriously.  This can easily be shown with her thug-spawn and the fact that she even has one.

5. She’ll only keep you around if the relationship is a good thing for both her and her kids. You won’t have to guess if she’s into you.  Yeah, thanks so much for keeping my interests at heart.  I haven’t even dated you yet and you are demonstrating that the only thing important to you is you and your kid(s).

6. Single moms are easy to pamper. (They don’t get breaks very often. Hint, hint.)  You are strong and independent.  Use some of your hard-earned cash to hire a babysitter.  If I wanted to be a babysitter, I’d form a business doing it and make a pile of cash.  Not interested in being a service for someone.

7. She’s loyal — and is fiercely protective of her little brood.  Loyal to herself and her brood.  Probably not even that.

8. She can articulate what she wants and needs from a relationship.  Congratulations.  It’s really not hard to articulate the phrase: ” I need support and money.”

9. Single moms are both practical and fun. There’s no room for diva behavior.  So practical and fun that they’ve utterly screwed themselves and need you to bail them out.

10. She’s no longer a party girl, but a fun night out is still very welcome.  She WAS and IS a party girl.  Hence waking up nine months later with something she can’t handle.

11. She’s selfless. Single moms put others’ needs before their own.  Yes, like her fatherless child.

12. Moms make the best lasagna and give the best back rubs.  Reaching the bottom of the barrel here.  Modern women can’t cook worth a sh** unless they’ve been carefully instructed how to do so.  Lasagna is man’s territory anyway.

13. You’ll get to take part in adventures to amusement parks, the zoo and the park. Bonus: You’ll have an excuse to play with toys.  I’m not three.  If I go to an amusement park, it won’t be so that I have to pay an extra $200 bucks to watch someone else’s sperm have a blast.  I have my own toys and I don’t need an excuse to play with them.

14. She’s adaptable. She knows that life doesn’t always go as planned and has learned how to make the best of it.  Translation:  “I’ve f****** up royally, didn’t plan it and now you’ll fall nicely into my plan of bailing me out of it.  That’s the best of it.

15. Single moms can do it all, but are super-appreciative of a helping hand. Woo her with kindness and acts of service.  Most of the time, they can’t do anything.  This is why their “Cry For Help” dating ad has gone up in the first place.  The days of wooing are over, and if I so choose to “woo”, it won’t be in the form of fixing everything that is broken in your house and looking after your kids at my expense.  You’ve already stated that you are strong and independent.  Fix it yourself.  Google it.  Do anything but ask me to bail you out of your situation.

Why else should one date a single mom?   You shouldn’t.  It’s pretty obvious.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Good job, sir.  Good job.  Now, we just need to get it out to the masses.

I almost had to wonder if EHarmony released that as a Humour piece, or just as a general stupidity indicator.

Perhaps their next “List” or article will be:

“15 Reasons Why You Should Buy A Used Car That Has Already Been In An Accident”.

Wow man.  That is some serious horror story.  If that wasn’t a test of your sanity, I don’t know what is.  VERY glad you saved yourself from that mess.

Now to the Red Pill s~~~:

01 i couldn’t let her drive because she had more than 15 arrests on her criminal record. no driver’s license. she was 25.

02 cost of driving her and the baby back to mommy: 4 hours round trip and always during my workday because of the kid. cost min 100.00 each time. 4x a week for 30 weeks= 12000.00 for this one item

03 diapers and food for single mom and kid for 30 weeks (plus big dates out to clubs) est 9000.00 usd

04 constant risk of my arrest and imprisonment due to her carrying drugs she didn’t tell me about or wasn’t supposed to have: PRICELESS.

05 her mommy crashed her car into mine one night because she didn’t get her way:  1850.00 repair to new car of mine

06 take four days off work to go through her life history of paperwork scattered around her mommy’s house to determine food stamps worthiness plus mommys’ food stamps and gov’t subsidies: 4 days x 500 a day lost income plus attorney consultation = 3000.00

07 constant monitored of baby daddy’s whereabouts with him going in and out of jail and then threatening to kill me: PRICELESS!

08 constant replacements of her phones and music players because she would get too high: 2000.00

I’m sure I could come up with more line items but let’s just use these and total them up…..

grand total for hot young single mommy piece of ass: 24850.00 for 7.5 months.

we had sex about four times a week over 30 weeks, so that’s 120 times.

Cost of each time we f~~~ed: 207.083333 not bad, actually for a girl with those looks and that body…

Now, that doesn’t include my time and the stress of living in fear of losing my life. Honestly, I don’t regret it at all. the most exciting s~~~ ever of my life. until one night  she was asleep and some guy was texting her all night about THEIR relationship and I was watching his texts come in. and other guy’s texts. and phone calls, all night long. she had forgotten to power off her phone. drove her, the kid, the crib, and their s~~~ back to her mom the next morning. slept none, and did a 12 hour workday after dropping them off.

will i do it again? F~~~ NO NEVER hahahahahahaha.

Sorry to hear you had such a bad time of it, but again…………SUPER glad you got out of it.

That is one hell of a price to pay for 7.5 months with someone.  It really does and did seem like you had your spidey sense on for a lot of it.  Good for you man.

Your story does bring an actual shudder to me though.  Jesus.  It continues to just floor me hearing all your guy’s stories.

Scary, scary bitches.

Glad you made it out in one piece.