finally things have improved for me financially as i have been working a better job for about a year.  i’m not a wealthy man by any means but i eat well, i have a comfy living situation, my kids are taken care of and i always have enough money in the bank that my expenses are set well ahead of time.  so feeling comfortable with the whole thing i went ahead and bought a decent starter set.

what does the stay at home girlfriend say?  no “good for you” or “congratulations.”  she told me that maybe i should pick up some more time at work.  this coming from the woman with no income that wants this and that, and to travel here and go on vacation there with no consideration of where the funding for any of these proposed desires should come from.  i work as a parcel delivery driver where i basically work at a grueling pace with no stopping with constant activity and attentiveness to get done at a reasonable time everyday.  my off time is highly valuable to me.  it’s funny how any of her short term senseless wants can just be paid for out of thin air but when i get something i really want that is well thought out and would have long term benefit, i’m not working enough to afford it in her mind.  i’m happy to say that i pretty much shut her down by saying that i have my finances in order and that she should not worry about the bills being paid.  regardless it still p~~~es me off.

Her, “maybe I should pick up some more time at work.”  is just a diplomatic way of saying, “I am ruling you.”

Your last paragraph = she sees you as her slave.

I’m sorry that you don’t see it yet.

no i see it.  i’m just a total beta provider in her eyes.  she might say that she appreciates me working but doesn’t do anything to really show it.  i guess i’m just in a point of transition.  my goal is to quit giving her any attention and spend it doing the things that i want to do, reconnecting with friends, getting in shape, playing music again etc, etc. and while i’m refocusing that energy i want to put more money away to be able to afford a new place if she won’t leave and start paying for daycare when i have the kids because that’s the one thing she does bring to the table currently.  we’re not married and she’s not spiteful so i don’t see it going to court but i should probably plan for that as a precautionary measure in my financing.  i don’t really see things ever improving and i both envision my escape and am starting to take the necessary steps but am not prepared to make a clean break right away as soldier medic and survivor might have implied.

thanks for the concern guy, but i do low rep stuff with the oly lifts to focus more on improving my overall lifting power rather than building musculature.  i don’t really get that torn up feeling as much.

I advise to start socking away money, open a new account or something just in case. It’s clear she is after a provider, you should have a small fund that only you know about. And yes, driving her off is IMO the best way to proceed.