Anyway, this isn’t about me and her but about her bratty 15 year old Tumblr junkie social justice warrior kid. First it was “I don’t eat that” then “I’m a lesbian” then “I’m a hermit” and now it seems all she can do is talk about the patriarchy and say “How DARE you?!”

Now if I’d tried any one of those tricks at my parents’ dinner table I’d have been sucking liquefied broccoli through a straw for the next six weeks but the woman, true to form for having been the child of strict parents herself, just lets this little s~~~stain get away with saying this stuff without comment. For the three or four times I have been in their presence for dinner, I have gone from ignoring the kid to wanting to crack her skull to literally expelling her from the room (your mother works her ass off to support you and if you can’t eat the food she made and show the adults here some respect then get the f~~~ up and get out of our sight) to, now, ignoring her again.

So here’s the question I’d like your advice on: what’s the tactical nuclear option for silencing a social justice warrior? I’m not about to argue biological determinism with a teenage girl or attempt to give her a lesson in the evolution of human culture versus third wave feminism… and I don’t even see the point in trying to predict for her the friendless, joyless and powerless future of kale and carpet munching she’s facing if she doesn’t put down the Internet and start acting like a regular kid again.

I’m looking for a one liner here… something that will make people reach for the yellow pages to look up the numbers of burn clinics… something that will shock and awe this kid into realizing that if she insists on continuing to believe that crazy s~~~, the only way she’s going to survive to see 18 is if she learns to keep it to herself.

Any ideas?

Still curious to know your thoughts about nuking SJWs, though. Thanks!

You: *serious face* “Are you done?”

*dead silence*

You: Good.

Continue eating.

or try “really? morph for me real quick so I can talk some sense into your other-kin headmate, ’cause i’ll get nowhere with you.”

I also find that taking the moral high road works well with SJW’s.  Say something like “I disagree, and am frankly, appalled that you would say such a horrible thing.”

seriously though, she is trying to drive you away.  you have the power.  let her know what’s up.  let her know you see through her.  make her double-down.  then send her to therapy.  she’ll love that~.  sounds like it would do her some good.

It’s not an issue anymore, though, as their mother sprang this whole “I want a commitment from you.” thing on me and I came back with “What have you done for me that would warrant a commitment? Have you been nicer, more loving or more supportive of me or expressed any deeper feelings of love and devotion at all? Or have you just given up on finding someone better than me and now you want me to give up my options too?”

You might imagine how well that was received.