The trouble is, politely ignoring her advances and showing no interest in her hasn’t deterred her. I work for the government so the level of political correctness I have to navigate is a Feminists wet dream.

If I pump and dump her it will poison my work environment.

If I tell her to f~~~ off I could lose my job.

What p~~~es me off is she won’t just ask already. All she does is throw openings at me all day.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, what are you doing?”

“Stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“The fun kind.”

” That sounds like fun.”

“…”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Just trying to work.”

She laughs.

Or…

“You’ve changed. You used to be a lot nicer. Those girls in X department always talk about how sweet you are.”

“Is that so?”

“Are you upset about something?”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?

“No idea what you mean.”

She laughs.

This c~~~ laughs at everything I say even when I’m not making jokes. Or making eye contact with me and then quickly looking away.

It’s like high school all over again. How do I get this to stop?

Also, consider filing a preemptive complaint with HR. Your organization will have buzz words that you should employ, for example “unprofessional conduct”, “sexual harassment”, “romantic overtures during business hours”, and the like. Consult local listings. Keep a paper copy at home.

By document I mean, keep a log of unprofessional conduct on her part, on paper, and don’t leave it lying around. Take it with you when you leave the premises, even for lunch. Hiding it in your desk or a file cabinet will not work. It would be a good idea to buy your own notebook, one obviously not from your employer’s office supplies.

Make contact with a highly placed politician who would be willing to intervene on your behalf if things go sideways, ideally someone with scary clout like a Minister of Parliament or US Senator.

Back in my corporate drone days, I learned these things. HR gave lectures to middle managers which I attended. And I knew people who got caught in this trap and had to find their way out — School of Hard Knocks.

By the way, the original intention of the “document it” policy was to prevent managers from using their position to unfairly persecute underlings. We needed a paper trail long and deep to fire someone. (On the other hand, laying them off during a cutback was child’s play.) You should adhere as closely as possible to their local policy, even though you are the underling and are going up against both HR and the office feminists. It might save your job, or at very least force them to allow you to get out without a black mark against you.

A final note: Get your resume tuned up while you still have access to the office copier.

I’d like to add a cautionary note to your last comment.

Yes, by all means record what goes on, but don’t put your faith that any or all of it will be accepted as evidence.  I found out the hard way.

At the place where I used to teach, I was subjected to harassment and bullying by my departmental superiors for several years.  I put up with it because I needed a paycheque as I planned on returning to university for a Ph. D.

I recorded all sorts of actions that my detractors took against me, no matter how trivial.  By being so detailed, I thought I could show what they were doing and to what extent they pursued their campaign against me.  However, it ended up working against me.  One day, I took the information I had compiled up to then to the staff association president, who, in turn, forwarded it to the association’s lawyer.

Rather than receiving support for my situation, the lawyer portrayed me as being the bad guy.  After all, I was being petty and trivial by recording everything (never mind that it provided an overall context to what was going on).  At the time, though, I thought I had done something wrong.  It wasn’t until a few years later when his successor and I looked at my personnel file that it became clear that the staff association president was collaborating with my enemies.  I was considered a problem that would be slowly made to go away.

But here’s the thing.  If I hadn’t recorded what was going on, I wouldn’t have had any evidence to support my claims.  But by recording it, I was seen as being thin-skinned and quick to take offence.

Fortunately, that successor suggested that I write a memo to the dean (who also hated my guts–gee, a nice place I worked at, wasn’t it?) and to send a copy to the appropriate institutional vice-president.  A few weeks later, my department head happened to pass by my office.  He looked at me as if his nose was so far out of joint, it could have been used as a bottle opener, so I guess someone had been taken to the woodshed.  By doing that, I managed to buy myself a bit of time.  I went on leave for 2 years to complete my Ph. D., but the whole crapola started shortly after I returned.  I quit about 2 years after I came back.

My point is this:  recording what happens does not guarantee anything others than one has put something on paper.  I certainly agree to have someone with influence who might be able to help, but that often depends upon one’s social connections.  The best way out of the situation is to start tunneling one’s way out by revising one’s CV and start looking elsewhere.

Quarter Wave Vertical’s work environment was more hostile than mine. So is yours. Furthermore, I do not have the charisma that makes random women seek me out. (I realize now that was to my advantage!) Even with these advantages, I had to be very careful. I have had women try to pick fights (the verbal kind) so they could get HR to hammer me. (I am long since out of the life of the corporate drone, thank goodness.)

Ideally, your tormentor will find a new target and drift away on her own — good luck with that. Your rejection so far has only spurred her on. No surprise there. As has been pointed out, this is typical female behavior and is to be expected.

If she forces you to fight a battle for your job, or the chance to quit with no black marks, then be prepared long in advance. Frankly, it things go sour, getting out with career prospects intact may be your best outcome.

This is what you’re up against, as if you didn’t already know:

Just tell them: “I have no money”.

It works.

If you don’t work with her and want to bang her, tell her there is NO F~~~ING WAY you will evener do relationships. Tell her you’re really bad at it. You will be surprised how many women think they can “fix” you. Then when she thinks she has you hooked, you tell her “I told you right from the start.. NO”. It’s the perfect out. Needless to say, take all precautions…. and don’t f~~~ anyone you work with if you care about your job.

Of course, the answer will always be:  “It isn’t about money!”, which means it is.

I agree about not getting close with co-workers.  I made that mistake a lot of times, and not just with respect to courtships.  I was, at times, foolish enough to confide in colleagues about certain things and found out later that I may as well have blurted it out in public.  Some people can’t keep their big yaps shut.  Others will simply rat on you out of a misguided sense of loyalty or a potential reward for doing so.

I’ve gone through a sexual harassment case at this place already and turned it into a promotion. That’s one of the reasons I’m hyper vigilant about this stuff.

Best tips so far were saying “I have a girlfriend” or “I have no money.” Of the two it’ll be easier to go the “I have no money” path. I’d lie about having a girlfriend but several of the people I work with are close family friends.

Come to think of it, I probably brought this on myself by wearing a mask that was too “shiny”. Food for thought. Might be a good idea to sell my car and pick up a beater.

Once you’re targeted by a female in the workplace you’re in for it, no matter how you handle it.
It’ll happen every time too, no matter how s~~~ty a beta male you try to be.
You’ll find that “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” should also include “who thinks” she’s scorned, and the end result is exactly the same, simmering resentment and subtle bitch tactics that no male, no matter how intelligent or focused, could even dream of.

There’s not a single woman on the planet you can tell  “I really love being single and I’m not after a relationship”
They hear “I’m after a relationship, just not with you”

Now, because of the obesity epidemic, about two thirds are automatically unf~~~able, and they know it.
It’s incredibly harder for them to use the age old deceptions, and in many cases, no real chance of deceptions at all.
The desperation factor is increasing in both numbers and degree.

And Quarter Wave, you’re right too. Keeping personal hand written records on a daily basis is some of the most powerful forms of evidence you can get.
I was the target of one of the most hideously, repugnant female bosses you could imagine. Hideous in both bush pig looks and character. She was one of the most disgusting human beings I’ve ever encountered. She persecuted all the staff and they were all terrified of her.
Initially she tried the cutesy 400lb cupcake routine, but when that didn’t work she actually tried to bully me into a relationship. I s~~~ you not.

I used a great variation to keep records by creating another email account and write out the unbelievable discrimination and abuse on a daily basis.
I then sent these emails to my real email addy to show that there was no doubt at all about the timing, or that I’d altered them later in any way.

I ended up being “dismissed” by her on some pretext of stress, even though she couldn’t give one concrete reason.
It was a semi-government department and she knew every loophole, ethic, ruling and process in the bureaucratic system.
I just left quietly. I had every reason to believe management would have backed her to avoid a sexual harassment suite against her and the company.
Despite my worst fears being realized, it was a blessing to leave.
The pay check was fool’s gold from the moment she decided I was relationship material.