In my looking into MGTOW, what I am seeing is arguments over what is a “real” MGTOW and what isn’t, on YouTube.  I think it comes out from people not seeing people come from different places and have different goals.  For myself, I see MGTOW is a man deciding to go his own way, for numerous reasons, with a main one be the social accepted norm of everyone having a partner.  In this will circle in talks about men, that they must be gay if they don’t have a girlfriend, or a loser or “don’t have game”.  It is like a social expectation put on men they didn’t agree to, and some sort of hoops.  For numerous reasons, even beyond this (but as a byproduct) men decide they had enough and will live by their own rules, and won’t even let the opinions of women, and that area, impact them.  From this, I see MGTOW coming about.  But, I also see numerous reasons why men end up in this state, or get in this state before of where they want to head.  In this, I am suggesting categories of why men go MGTOW, which would help understand things, and also give men the right bit of advice and support.

Please comment on what is seen below (or above), say where you see yourself in it, and maybe suggest others, or consolidating some together.  I post this to discuss and come up with a useful frame to organize.

Onto the categories…

Reactive: A man is trying to avoid pain and negative, rather than positively trying to doing something.

* Wounded: Had bad relationship or relationships.  Got hurt and suffered damage.  Is trying to flee the past harm, heal, and the future harm.  Such damage could be loss of property in a divorce, destruction of property, emotional harm, loss of identity.

* Rejected (true forced loneliess): Never had a relationship with a woman, and just can’t get one.  The person can be out of the norms for what is appealing for a number of reasons.  The person is an outcast by choice and just can’t get a date or have anything.

Proactive: A man is trying to do something and willing to sacrifice some things, including the classic partner relationship with a woman.

* Monk (mode): Follows a path of a monastic by withdrawing from the world, living modestly, avoiding sexual relations or dating relationships at least, and works on self.  This can vary a lot.  You see the term “Monk Mode” used, and this relates, and why you see it.

* Player: Can be related to Pick Up Artist (PUA), just doesn’t want the hassle of a relationship, and marriage.

* Rejecter: Can’t find a woman who matches his ideals in life, so he moves on.

* Warrior (Alpha): Seeks power, on a personal level, and all parts of his life, and seeks to have everything be by his rules.  Will engage with the world, and looks to acquire tools and money and anything to live free of constraints.

* Spartan: Into athletic and person development, and seeks to be a real man, and live austerity and a very focused life, which ends up being on his terms.  The level of discipline here, by default, causes him to live life on his terms.  You see elements of Warrior and Monk here.  Athletes, body builders, etc… who go into a training form of Monk Mode, would fit into this.  Everything is purposed and organized.

* Scholar: Focused on intellectual pursuits to the extent, he doesn’t have time or mental energy/focus to maintain a relationship with a woman.  Isaac Newton can be seen as this.

* Artist: Similar to the Scholar, but due to the hit or miss nature of trying to make it as an artist, he is unable to financially provide for a woman and a relationship.  It is similar to the scholar, in that the man is so focused on his craft, he doesn’t have time for a family or a relationship with a female.

* Professional: The person is so involved in a career, and so wrapped up in their work, they don’t have time to be able to date or have a woman, and raise a family.  College students can fit into this also, particularly ones that work.  A version of this also can be the person who is hustling so many jobs, they barely have any time for a personal life.

* Objectivism: A person subscribes to Ayn Rand’s philosophy of everyone living for themselves and their terms.  They practice this and go their own way.

* Outcast Philosopher: A person has such a strong objection to the way society is organized, that they go off the grid as much as possible, and seek to live life by what they see as a better way.  Such an approach can make them to be a hermit, and if there is financial austerity, it would be unappealing to a woman.

* Traveller/Wanderer: The individual has a career that causes them to travel so much, they just can’t settle down, to build a relationship.

* Dudebro: Bro’s before Ho’s. This guy has a far stronger preference hanging ou with his friends, and do guy stuff, like watch sports, play videogames, etc… that they just don’t have room for a woman in their life.

While in essence I would generally agree with most of what you have laid out …. it’s just not as simple as this …. and I’m not saying it’s something you have or haven’t put here.

It’s more complicated, you will find elements of all your categories in one mgtow.

A guy that first becomes ‘enlightened’ may be young and angry but then as he becomes less raged he may settle in another category.

Thats the beauty and wonder of mgtow. They are constantly evolving … becoming ‘other’.

Thats the magic of being smoke or …. from our enemies point …. like hurding cats ☺

You could probably get a mgtow to recognise a part of a category but that is only for that day. Because he may go from alpha to monk.

It’s a wonderful thing 😉

I do see someone can have multiple ones going on, but I believe some categories can work against each other, while others end up being more compatible.  I am just trying to think about what is here and what works, and welcome discussion.  A guy won’t fit just one most likely, but more likely one.  I do see, for example, the monk route being incompatible with others, and so on.  Go the path of the scholar, and you likely avoid the business world.  And with each of these are tradeoffs and advice for one may not be suitable for another.

I do a lot of stuff like this, so it didn’t take that long for me to come up with.  It is possible the categories do act as modes or rules people have at different times in their life, and during a day or week even.

So maybe you could sort of pin a mgtow to a category at the end a process but who knows how long that might be.

Also I am ‘sort of’ knowing where I’m heading with my life and mgtow …. but …. that’s overall … my emotions can change from hour to hour so again …. even looking at myself …..

I’m a f~~~ing mystery 😆

I also being going one’s own way does require healing and being able to find positive reasons to do things.  Merely being reactive can lead to any sorts of deal with pain mechanisms, rather than a direction one would commit to.  And in this, it is very likely there is therapy needed for the very broken.

I did have reactive as a core part, because that is often the starting point, and some do end up building conspiracy theories and fight against the powers that be that look like they are out to harm them.  What I saw of the true forced loneliness, is there was a bunch in that, with one guy believing the government was plotting to destroy his manhood or something.

I would agree one does need to find more proactive reasons to be able to really go their own way.  It needs to be something to strive for, rather than merely avoid.

Realist: person who uses past events and facts, rather than hopeful feelings and wishes, to predict the future

i wish i could be more positive, but can’t